1. That There Is No Shame In Pre-Gaming to “Hanging Tough”
Oh, New Kids On The Block. How we love you. The members of this ’80s band are from Boston, so we honor them any chance we can get—particularly when it comes to pre-gaming. We’ve all fallen under the “trance” of this “funky song” After all, what even is a pre-game without “Hangin’ Tough”? Oh oh oh oh oh…
2. And You’ve Belted “Sweet Caroline” In The Shower—A Lot
This Neil Diamond song is sung at every Red Sox game at Fenway Park, and so it has become a huge part of Mass culture. And once it’s in your head, it’s almost impossible to get out, resulting in you belting it in the shower every morning in order to “get it out” of your system… Until the next time you hear it. Like, 20 minutes later.
3. You Have Friends Who Named Their First Son “Tom” And Their Second “Brady”—Or Are Planning To
If football were a religion in Massachusetts, Tom Brady would be God. He’s basically amazing. And good looking. And all around one of the best things to happen to the Patriots. So our patronage to him can be a bit extreme at times, but it is completely obvious why.
4. You’ve Seen (Or Participated In) At Least One Straight Up Street Brawl Over A Sox/Yankees Game
Let’s be honest, when the Yankees are in town, Boston gets rowdy. The rivalry goes way, way back to The Curse of the Bambino in 1918 (We hate to talk about it, but basically the Red Sox didn’t win a world series for 86 years from 1918 to 2004).
Anyway, when those smug, corporate, beardless bums come to our city, we can get a bit, um, “impolite” towards them. The 20 mile radius outside of Fenway park after a win or lose against the Yankees can sometimes look like a scene out of a movie depicting the apocalypse. Things burn. People riot. Police run away (or stay and fight…) And while the madness is most intense around Fenway park, pretty much the entire state of Massachusetts is fair game when it comes to Sox/Yankees brawls.
5. Road Signs That Read “Wicked High Tides” And “Use Ya Blinkah” Are All Too Familiar
If you’re not from around here, you may think that “Wicked High Tides” is not an extreme enough warning sign for something as dangerous as high tides. But to us, wicked is the most extreme adjective you can use to define something. If we didn’t use the word “wicked” in a warning sign, then we may not take it as seriously.
6. Pinocchio’s Pizza In Harvard Square The Place To Get A Pie
People can talk all day about how great New York Pizza is, but that’s because they haven’t been to Pinocchio’s in Harvard Square. People across the Bay State will travel to get a bite of this pizza—it is incredible. Plus, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are frequent customers…
7. That It’s Illegal To Put Tomatoes In Clam Chowdah. No, Seriously.
In New England, it is considered a "barbaric New York custom" to put tomatoes into clam chowder, which is how it’s done when making Manhattan Clam Chowder (Blegh. Yuck. Gross. Boo, New York!)
Most of New England agrees: In 1939 a bill was passed in Maine to make it illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder there. And this law definitely trickled down to Mass, where we make the best chowdah in the country! Who the heck puts tomatoes in clam chowder, anyway? New England Chowdah all the way!
8. Ain’t Nobody Got Better Lobster Rolls Than Massachusetts
Even the lobsters we sell in our Walgreens will outdo any other lobsters in New England (and, yes, we sell lobsters in Walgreens…) So, naturally, our lobster rolls are downright amazing and are a staple of any true Bay Stater’s diet.
9. Summertime Means Heading To Cape Cod
Bay Staters know the best places to beat the summer heat is in Cape Cod. You know, the places that aren’t overcrowded with tourists, the best beaches, the best restaurants, the best sand dunes…basically, the Cape defines many of our childhoods. It’s a quintessential part of being from this state. So you tourists can pretend you own the place for two months out of the year, but just know the Cape is ours!
10. Matt Damon And Ben Affleck Are More Than Just Celebs, They’re Bay State Family
Affleck was raised in Cambridge, Mass and Damon was born and raised in Boston. The two were childhood friends, and made their big break together after writing and producing Good Will Hunting (a Boston-based movie). Together, they’ve kind of encompassed a Massachusetts success story. Plus, Good Will Hunting is amazing so it’s no wonder that Bay Staters have a deep attachment to the celebrity duo. If you deny this, you’re lying to yourself.
What can I say, Bay Staters are a passionate people. We like, no—we love, our sports and sports heroes. We’ve memorized every word to “Hangin’ Tough” and “Sweet Caroline.” We’ve outdone the rest of New England when it comes to chowdah and lobster rolls. No matter how you look at it, we’re proud to call this place home.
