1. Bay Staters Are Massholes For Life
Once a Masshole, always a Masshole. Shout it at us from a car window while shaking your fist in rage all you want, our Massholeness is something in which folks in this state take great pride.
While other states might find polite ways to beat around the bush or just swallow their feelings, Bay Staters just cut to the chase and give their opinion. If someone has a problem with that...well...they are wrong.
And if you don’t like being cut off, too bad. In Massachusetts you can either learn to drive Masshole-style or quickly make your way out state.
2. Bay Staters Are Lovers Not Republicans
While Massachusetts residents are a terror on the road, when it comes to matters of the heart they take a kinder, gentler and more equal approach.
But despite all the tolerance they show their fellow residents, it all stops at Massachusetts' western border because…
3. The People Of Massachusetts Have One Sworn Enemy: New Yorkers
If people think folks from Massachusetts are (insert curse word here), then they need to cross the border and meet a New Yorker. With their rage-inducing Yankees and annoying “New Yawk” accents, they have quickly become Bay Staters' nemeses.
Fortunately Massachusetts has built most courageous fleet in all of the land to take them down: Our Red Sox decimate their Yankees, our Patriots send the Jets back home and our Harvard laughs at Columbia. Even our pizza beats New York's pompous slices.
4. Coastal Island Bay Staters Are Pearl Wearing, Collar Popping, Pastel Accessorizing Preppies
The WASPs of Massachusetts have singlehandedly funded and justified the existence of Vineyard Vines and Lilly Pulitzer. Give these gals anything pink or paisley and they will happily strut it up in Newton.
But we can’t let the fellas off the hook either. Polo, Ray Bans and khakis make up the official uniform of male preppies. Don't be fooled though, under that pink polo shirt and east coast blue blood manners beats the heart of a true Masshole. They aren’t above a little (OK a lot of) road rage, they just do so a little more eloquently.
5. People In Massachusetts Love A Good Bromance
It's hard to say when Bay Stater bromance with, er, bromance began.
Maybe it with the Pilgrims helping each other through the tough New England winters. Maybe it was when the patriotic bros got together to dump tea into the Boston Harbor. Maybe it started at the first frat parties in Harvard. Whenever it started, the tradition of Massachusetts bromance is alive and well today.
Perhaps the most epic, or at least the most famous celebrity bromance is that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. These bros co-wrote their bromantic drama
Good Will Hunting about a wicked smart Southie and his supporting best friend. And it earned the duo an Oscar.
Out of state viewers may think of their friendship is fictional but every Southie knows that it was more memoir than fiction. And they know it from personal experience.
Today the bromance continues. LAX Bro culture has been cultivated through the many prep schools (it’s a lacrosse thing) and then later in college.
Speaking of colleges, if there were ever a breeding ground for forging bromantic connections it would be in a collegiate setting. Massachusetts is chock a block with colleges, and the bros that come with it, so it just makes sense that Massachusetts would be home to more bromances per capita than anywhere else.
6. Everyone In Massachusetts Is Totally Obsessed With The Kennedy Family
The rest of the states may agree that the Kennedy family is American royalty but they don't swear their fealty to them like Massachusetts.
The Kennedy castle resides on the coast of Cape Cod and was used as headquarters for many of their political campaigns. Bay Staters have watched the family grow and have celebrated their wins and mourned their loses.
Everyone knows Jackie, JFK, Robert and JFK Jr., but Massachusetts praises the unsung hero, Ted Kennedy. The last liberal standing and the Lion of the Senate, Ted fought for the little guy with immigration reform, AIDS care, civil rights, disability reform, and mental healthcare.
He had his demons but he was a Bay Stater to the bone and always rose to the challenge of a good fight. Uncle Teddy, gone but never forgotten.
7. Everyone In Massachusetts Is Wicked Smaht
People in Massachusetts have the brains to go with their beauty. The question is how does one small state hold so many great colleges. Massachusetts is home to three of the top 10 colleges in the U.S. Harvard instantly comes to everyone's mind. But don't forget that MIT brought everyone the computer.
8. Bay Staters Emulate The Scooby Gang
Scooby Doo might just seem like a psychedelic children's cartoon show, but it has some metaphorical meaning to the good people of Massachusetts. It is a long standing belief that the Scooby Gang represented the five sister colleges in Western Mass. OK we know how this sounds, but stay with us here.
- Scooby is from UMass, the kid who no one expected to make it to college
- Shaggy is from Hampshire College, the insightful, lovable, pothead
- Velma is from Smith College, the nerdy brain that never gets the credit she deserves
- Fred is from Amherst, the confident leader that pushes everyone forward
- Daphne from Mount Holyoke, the trust fund WASP with a heart of gold (and great hair)
Is your mind blown?
9. It May Shock You To Learn—Not All Bay Staters Live In Boston
Hello? It is called Massachusetts, not the state of Boston. Yes, Boston may be where the Red Sox and the Symphony reside but we swear that there is more beyond the Bostonian border.
It may be a scary land full of trees and birds, but once Claritin has been administered there is actually a lot of really cool stuff.
Cape Code for example. In this non-Bostonian locale there are beaches, seafood and thong-wearing locals scooting around on Razor Scooters.
Or how about Western Mass, where people are neighbors with Black Bears. Western Mass is the land of irony with its culture and arts, located in the land of farmers. One of its best examples is the Clark Museum of Art, voted one of the best small art museums in America.
10. Folks In Massachusetts Are Taught To Love The Red Sox Before Their ABCs
All across the great state of Massachusetts are maternity wards are filled with brand new Red Sox fans. The love of this team is passed down from generation to generation, and spans from the cradle to the grave.
Despite the team’s ups and downs, it’s in the Bay Staters’ genetic code to always support their team. Box seats are left in wills and people here don't blink at shelling out the big bucks to go to the Green Monster.
11. Massachusetts May Be Small But Its People Have Big Hearts
Through the cursing and the tough guy exterior, one thing you can always count on is that the people of Massachusetts will always have your back.
After the Boston's Marathon Bombing was a time where the entire city pooled together to help each other. People went into harms way to save lives. While the entire city of Boston was on lock down, a policeman went out of his way to bring a family a gallon of milk.
Bay Staters come out in droves to support our pediatric cancer institute, the Jimmy Fund. Our beloved Red Sox developed a deep bond with the organization and have been cited as being the poster child for sports teams supporting charities.
Time after time, Massholes have shed their gruff exterior to help their neighbor. Whether it is a small thing like cooking their sick neighbor a casserole or a larger act of heroism like saving people from a blizzard, Bay Staters will always be there for each other.
Feature Image Source: Greg Peverill-Conti
