“Deep Dish Pizza”byAnna Smithis licensed underCC BY 2.0
Eating a few slices of deep dish pizza in Chicago will make up a huge portion out one’s daily recommend calories, weighing in at well over 500 a slice. But after tasting what places like Giordano’s and Pequod’s have to offer, any out-of-towner will totally be willing to blow their diet in a single meal.
“Da Bears...”byTrippis licensed underCC BY 2.0
Win or lose, the Chicago Bears are always the best team in the NFL according to a Chicagoan. Even if they’re not having a great season, the city will still come out in full force for every game. There are no fans that are more diehard than those in the Windy City.
“Chicago style hot dog at home! 家で作るシカゴ式ホットドッグ”byNaotake Murayamais licensed underCC BY 2.0
Never, ever, under no circumstances put ketchup on a Chicago dog. The sweetness of ketchup masks the flavor of the meat and it’s insulting to the chef. The only things that should go on top of a Chicago dog besides the meat and the poppy seed bun are a squirt of yellow mustard, chopped white onions, tomato slices, pickled sport peppers, a dill pickle spear, neon green relish, and a shake of celery salt.
Another food Chicago is known for, patrons are always offered the option to “dip” their Italian beef sandwich. Ordering it this way sends the entire sandwich head first into a giant pot of beef jus. While it may make the meal significantly messier, it’s the only way to go.
Chicago has these things called “late night bars,” which stay packed, pumping drinks out to patrons until 4 a.m. It’s a special liquor license, so every bar won’t offer this, but the ones that do have no problem sending people home near the crack of dawn.
Technically, “the loop” originally referred to Chicago’s raised rail system (AKA the “L”), however it has since become synonymous with the downtown area of Chicago. Some will argue that the term “loop” predates the rail system, but either way, out-of-towners should be away that anytime “the loop” is thrown around, someone is talking about the heart of the city.
Chicago is so awesome that entire streets have a tendency to get shut down for the filming of huge movies. Most famously, the recent Batman series. Any Chicagoan can point out places like the Chicago Post Office and West Van Buren Street that are featured in “The Dark Knight.” And it doesn’t stop at Batman, as an entire range of other movies and television shows are filmed there as well. No matter how many times it happens, the city still loves to see itself on the silver screen.
Right outside of the Cubs stadium, this district is significantly cheaper than further downtown and not nearly as fancy, making Wrigleyville is one of the best places to take out-of-towners visiting Chicago on a weekend night. With over 100 bars, there’s something for everyone and there’s always a party going on.
Anyone who isn’t from the Chicago area has this idea that every Chicagoan talks like a mobster, with a thick Italian accent and a crazy pronunciation of normal words. Mostly to their disappointment, most Chicagoans don’t do this at all, sounding like any other Midwestern. However, when a true Chicago accent is encountered it’s always a real treat.
Winter months are often harsh, often keeping people inside of their house and off the streets as much as possible. If someone visits during the cold season, they’ll have no clue what Chicago is really like. But in the summer, the city comes alive. Streets are filled with festivals and the beaches are filled with bikinis. Summer in Chicago is amazing, and it convinces every Chicagoan that they should put up with at least one more winter.
To the city of Chicago, what’s now technically called the Willis Tower will always be the Sears Tower. It’s a staple of the skyline that every Chicagoan grew up with and just because it wants to change its name, doesn’t mean it can.
Chicago is called “the Windy City” because of its crazy politics. The city has a history of boastful and long-winded leaders, thus earning it the nickname. But then, who can blame them, right?
Nothing annoys a Chicagoan more than when an out-of-towner makes their state’s name plural. It’s pronounced exactly like it looks, just minus the “s” at the end.
During the winter months, the lake in Chicago maintains its warmth resulting in excess moisture rising up from its depths. Long story short, the moisture freezes and Chicago gets dumped with tons of snow. Usually the city keeps on ticking, though parking can get a little sketchy.
People in the Chicagoland area have a tendency to say they’re from the city even if their suburb is over an hour away from downtown. It’s always important to know exactly where someone is from before a visit is planned, as staying downtown or staying somewhere like Deerfield will yield completely different experiences.
A party animal’s dream, Binny’s Beverage Depot is basically the Sam’s Club of liquor stores, with a seemingly endless selection of options and a plentiful number of “free sample” booths. If it’s not on their shelves and they can’t order it, it’s probably a better decision to settle on something else anyways.
A ton of locals blame the Cubs poor post-season performance on the infamous “curse of the billy goat.” In 1945, when Billy Sianis was asked to leave the world because his pet goat’s odor was bothering other fans, he declared in a fit of rage that “them Cubs, they ain’t gonna win no more.” His prediction stands strong, as the Cubs haven’t won a World Series since1908.
Giving Chicago a beautiful shoreline, locals don’t refer to Lake Michigan with its full name. To them, it’s simply “the lake.”
While some might be worried that so many Chicagoans take LSD every day, usually this is just referring to Lake Shore Drive. This road goes along the lake and when it’s not packed it’s a great way to get from one end of the city to other.
Occasionally, someone actually refers to the giant metallic bean Chicago is known for by its real name, “the Cloud Gate.” This is sure to even confuse some Chicagoans, as the obvious name preference around the city seems to simply be “the bean.”
With the great public transportation system in Chicago and the often-excessive levels of traffic, many Chicagoans get by just fine without a car. However, it’s important to know that the Amtrak goes out of the city and that the Metra will take you from place to place downtown. Explaining the whole “Ventra” thing to an out-of-towner is a completely different story.
The endless stream of Krazy Kaplan billboards that line the highways would have any out-of-towner thinking that every Chicagoan had a secret stash of explosives hidden somewhere in their house. Obviously that’s not the case, this firework shop just overdoes it with the billboards a bit.
You know a city is loved when residents insist on proudly flying its flag everywhere. If you go to any other big city in America, you won’t see nearly this much patriotism. The Flag of Chicago is easy to identify, with two blue stripes on a field of white and four red six-point stars.
Several years ago, Divvy bikes were introduced to Chicago. This pay-as-you-go bike rental system can provide a great means of getting from one place to another. Unfortunately, it seems as if most people on Divvy bikes have never ridden in a city before, completely unaware of rules and bike etiquette. Never assume someone on a Divvy bike will do what they’re supposed to.
Depending on whether or not he’s performing at the level of his huge salary, the city seems to love or hate Jay Cutler in unison, able to completely flip their opinion after a couple of games. Fortunately for him, “Jay Cutler Dooooon’t Care.”
The first stop many Chicago first-timers make is Magnificent Mile. While this shopping district is a great place to find expensive clothing and overpriced meals, it’s hardly a fraction of what Chicago has to offer. Out-of-towners will find their best purchases and food options behind tiny storefronts in the neighborhoods that spiral out from downtown.
While Chicago is proudly in Illinois, it is nothing like the rest of the state. Outside of Chicagoland, Illinois is mostly farming, filled with stereotypical Midwesterners. Chicago really is in a category of its own.
Parking in Chicago tends to be nothing short of insane. There are a few free streets, tons of tow zones, underground parking garages, various permit zones, and the list of complications goes on. Finding a spot that is all right to park in without a pass will make any Chicago driver’s day.
If you think you’ve celebrated St. Patrick’s Day before, I’m here to tell you: You’re wrong. You haven’t partied until you’ve gone out in Chicago on St. Paddy’s Day. With celebrations starting early in the morning as the entire river is dyed green, many Chicagoans hit the streets with the goal of celebrating the holiday until they pass out. Green outfits stretch as far as the eyes can see, with ridiculousness soon to ensue.
Marketed as the “world’s most spectacular pub crawl”, TBOX (AKA the Twelve Bars Of Xmas Pub Crawl) is an annual festivity attracting tons of young adults to the streets of Wrigleyville in ridiculous, often Christmas themed, costumes. The 2013 theme was the “world’s wildest airline” and it’s fair to guess that most passengers of this trip had a pretty rough landing.
Chicago is full of unique bars, including the Wrigleyville favorite, Slugger’s. This place is the ultimate sports bar, home to tons of awesome sports themed games patrons can play, including a fully functioning batting cage. Nothing wakes you up during a night out like taking a fastball to the ribcage.
It’s not the typical daily commute unless someone almost kills you on the road. While most Chicagoan drivers are completely sane, there are always a select few that seem to have a death wish. Driving for a few months in Chicago will make you a more aware driver than anywhere else in the world.
If an out-of-towner is visiting, take them to the Weiners Circle at some point during their trip, but give them no heads up regarding the insults employees will relentlessly hurl at them throughout their order and make sure to recommend they purchase the “chocolate milkshake.” The expression on their face throughout the entire experience will be priceless.
A big city with that famous Midwest feel, it’s nothing like New York, it’s nothing Los Angeles, and it sure isn’t Miami. Chicago is one-of-a-kind, with an extremely diverse population, countless amazing food options, and the best sports teams in the country. Once an out-of-towner visits Chicago, it’s a sure bet that they’ll be back soon. What have you had to explain to out-of-towners about Chicago? Tell us in the comments below!
