1. “The Bears Don’t Have A Chance This Year”
When it comes to diehard fans, no city has more committed fans then Chicago. Regardless of what happened during the previous season or over the summer, come the first kick-off of the year at Soldier Field, fans are as enthusiastic as ever.
Once you become a Chicago Bears fan, you’re committed to that team for life.
2. “Sox Or Cubs, It Doesn’t Matter As Long As You’re Cheering For A Chicago Team”
While both teams might be from Chicago, locals are forced to pick a side. You can be a Cubs fan or a White Sox fan, but never both. This rivalry has been known to lead to lost friendships, fist fights, and even failed marriages in the past.
3. “I’ve Never Taken LSD”
If someone lives in Chicago, there’s a good chance they’ve taken LSD more times than they can count…Lake Shore Drive, that is. Running parallel with the shoreline of the Lake, this road is a popular way of getting across town, as long as there isn’t much traffic.
4. “It’s Not The Sears Tower Anymore”
A few years ago, the Sears Tower infamously changed its name to the Willis Tower and the people of Chicago couldn’t care less. Technically, this skyscraper might go by a different name, but that won’t stop every Chicagoan from cringing when they’re reminded of this change.
5. “Deep Dish Pizza Isn’t Really Pizza”
Chicagoans can’t help but feel a little hurt when an out-of-towner insists that their city’s signature dish shouldn’t really count as “pizza.”
Sure, it might not have thin crust like slices found around New York or the cookie cutter appearance delivered by major national chains but we don’t want it to.
Seriously, just one bite of that cheesy, meaty, thick and hearty Chicago slice will have any doubter quickly recanting their statement.
6. “I’ll Take A Chicago Dog With Extra Ketchup!”
There are few things more taboo in Chicago than ordering ketchup on a hot dog. The sweetness of the ketchup is thought to take away from the flavor of the meat and other ingredients.
If someone tries to order this bright red condiment as a topping, there’s a good chance they’ll be laughed out of the restaurant.
7. “St. Patrick’s Day Isn’t That Big Of A Deal”
Chicagoans love St. Paddy’s Day so much they’re completely fine with the city dying the river bright green. To Chicagoans, there’s no better excuse to take to the streets for an entire day of crazy celebration, decked out in a healthy amount of green, of course.
8. “Driving Around Chicago Is A Breeze!”
It doesn’t take more than a few minutes of driving in Chicago to realize that you don’t like it. Either you’re battling a road full of drivers seemingly trying to kill you or you’re stopped for hours in a huge traffic jam.
It’s safe to say that pretty much everyone living in this city is very thankful for public transportation.
9. “All I Know Is I’m Going To Navy Pier This Weekend For Sure!”
Nothing screams “tourist” like a trip to Navy Pier. It’s cool to see once or twice, but unless it’s a special event, true Chicagoans rarely find themselves at this expensive, overcrowded attraction.
10. “Why Can’t It Just Be Winter Already?!”
Every Chicagoan is well aware of this thing called the “lake effect” and its ability to dump tons of snow on Chicagoland. If the dirty, slushy mess on the roadways isn’t enough to turn Chicagoans off to the winters in their city, the freezing temperatures and frigid winds are.
The only reason Chicagoans tolerate the often miserable cold months of the year is so that they can enjoy the beautiful Chicago summer that follows.
11. “I Make Sure All Of My Visitors Get To See The Cloud Gate”
The first thing every visitor to Chicago wants to see is the giant shiny sculpture at Millennium Park. Most Chicagoans are happy to take their friends there, but everyone knows it doesn’t go by its official name, the “Cloud Gate.” To every Chicagoan, it’s simply “the bean.”
12. “I Wish Binny’s Had A Bigger Selection”
Binny’s puts all other liquor stores to shame, with endless bottles of various adult beverages from around the entire world. Every Chicagoan knows that if you can’t find it at Binny’s, there’s a good chance it’s not worth finding at all.
13. “There’s No Such Thing As The Curse Of The Cubs”
Ever since Billy Sianis was asked to take his smelly goat out of a World Series game at Wrigley in 1945, the Cubs haven’t had the best luck in post-season play.
While everyone in Chicago doesn’t believe that a goat actually cursed the organization, no Cubs fan will doubt it out loud at the risk of jinxing it, thus making the curse even stronger.
… In fact, I shouldn’t even be talking about it now.
14. “You Grab This Parking Spot, I’ll Take The Next One!”
Parking in Chicago is one step below a battle to the death. Not only is parking confusing, it’s extremely overcrowded, making the few free spots that exist more valuable than gold.
If someone sees a spot, they take it. Don’t expect much mercy or chivalry on the Chicago roadways.
15. “I’ll Meet You At Lake Michigan Around 2”
Nothing makes an out-of-towner stick out more than if they say “Lake Michigan.” Around these parts, it’s simply “the Lake.” This is a CRUCIAL difference.
16. “Chicago Is Like A Small New York”
Chicago pride is a huge deal and no Chicagoan would ever weaken the status of their city by saying it’s basically a smaller, less awesome version of another big city rival.
There’s no doubt in a Chicagoan’s mind that they live in the best American city, especially when compared to New York.
Chicago is cleaner, it’s not as crazy, the people are nicer, and the food is better. There’s a reason people hate leaving the Windy City. Once you’re a Chicagoan, you’re a Chicagoan for life.
Did we miss anything? Tell us the last thing anyone from Chicago would say in the comments below! 
