1. Our Historical Sites Are Better Than Yours
Arlington National Cemetery? Check.
Monticello? That’s close by.
Ford’s Theater? Got that too.
This city is full of history, and it knows it.
2. D.C.’s Hockey Team Will Kick The Crap Out Of You
Hockey is actually a thing here, and the Washington Capitals are a great team. Alex Ovechkin? If you don’t know his name already, you’d better Wikipedia that god of a man before you move here.
3. Obama Could Eat Ben’s Chili All Day
You haven’t had a real chili dog until you’ve tried Ben’s Chili Bowl. There’s a reason it’s frequented by a list of celebrities and remains a favorite of our president. And he remains a favorite of Ben’s--they painted him into a mural on the side of the restaurant.
4. Old Town Alexandria Is The Most Charming Place Around
Home to the cutest little cobblestone walkways in the United States. Old Town Alexandria has been around since before The Constitution and is a huge tourist attraction and the perfect place to take your date.
5. This Town Has Two Football Teams. Choose Wisely.
Think the Washington Redskins are the only football team claimed by residents of D.C.? Not quite. Since Baltimore is less than an hour up the road, you’ll find many a Ravens fan in the capital.
When the Ravens and the Redskins face off, Washingtonians are virtually split when it comes on whom they want to root for.
6. D.C. Doesn’t Take Kindly to Skyscrapers
Well, unless you count the Washington Monument as a skyscraper. Thanks to a decades-old law limiting building restrictions to no higher than 160 feet, your view of this fine city won’t be blocked by rows of brick and granite.
7. The Nation’s Capital Is A Museum Lover’s Paradise
Love the Wright Brothers? Fascinated by the Constitution? Want to learn about the mating rituals of aboriginals? D.C. has you covered. Plus, most of the museums are admission free.
We’ve all heard of the Smithsonian, the National Museum of Natural History and the National Air and Space Museum, but here are some other ones you should definitely add to your list:
- Newseum
- United States Holocaust Museum
- International Spy Museum
8. The Best Event Of The Year? The Cherry Blossom Festival.
The Cherry Blossom Festival is hailed as “The Nation’s Greatest Springtime Celebration” for good reason. Beginning in late March through most of April you can find an endless number of events to celebrate the cooperation of the U.S. and Japan.
I challenge you to walk around when the city’s in bloom and not be awed by the blossoming white and pink trees. Go ahead, just try it.
9. The Parkway Is Super Drivable And Gorgeous To Boot
The George Washington Memorial Parkway is a casual driver’s heaven. Scenic, convenient for getting around the city and, best of all, no trucks! Just watch out for the speed traps.
10. The Metro Trumps The T, The L And The Subway
So, you don’t like to drive even if the parkway is great? No problem. The metro has 86 stations in the D.C. area, making it easy to get where you need to go in one of the busiest cities in the nation. Plus, the views are beautiful in the fall.
11. Tourists Run These Streets
Tourism is D.C.’s bread and butter. You know, besides politics. As one of the most visited cities in the world, you can bet you’ll be inundated with out-of-towners and foreigners trampling over your doorstep. No worries, though. Variety is the spice of life!
12. Federal Employees Cannot Be Fired. Like, Ever. For Anything.
Almost everyone that lives in D.C. works for the federal government or wants to. Why? The endless benefits, vacation days and insurance sure are nice. As many politicians have taught us, a government job is the way to a cushy retirement.
13. Bao Bao The Panda Is D.C.’s Little Survivor
Isn’t he cute? Washingtonians are proud parents of one of only two surviving panda cubs born in the National Zoo in the last 42 years. Are you jealous? You should be. He’s adorable.
The rest of the zoo is pretty cool, too. But how do you beat a baby panda? You don’t.
14. The District of Columbia Has A Love Affair With Biking
D.C. is home to over 60 miles of regional bicycle and pedestrian trails for cyclists and hikers.
The only thing better than walking between blooming cherry trees is biking between them, so when spring rolls around hop on the Anacostia Riverwalk Trail and experience the definition of true beauty.
15. The Pentagon 9/11 Memorial Will Bring You To Tears
When most people think of 9/11 they sometimes forget that the capital was hit, too. The National 9/11 Memorial is a fantastic tribute to those who died and should be seen by everyone who lives here.
Walk along King St. and pay a visit to the thriving mom-and-pop shops and year-round farmers’ market. Or listen to that lady play the harp. It doesn’t get more charming than that.
16. TV Makes It Seem More Dangerous Here Than It Is
Contrary to what “Scandal” and “Bones” might make you believe, serial killers and corrupt politicians are not roaming the streets. Okay, at least not the serial killers.
17. D.C.’s Rolling In Dough
You think L.A. and New York have the honor of boasting the wealthiest people in the country? Hold yer horses, partner. That’s one more claim to fame that belongs to The District. Yup, Washingtonians are rich and damn proud of it. But that also means you’ll need to be able to afford living here.
18. Nothing Can Beat Rasika’s Palak Chaat
Looking for an upscale restaurant with amazing Indian cuisine? Rasika has you covered. The Palak Chaat is my personal favorite, and it’s the best crunchy spinach dish in the area. Or anywhere, maybe.
19. A Hard Rain Or Snow And The City Shuts Down
But what city doesn’t? You can’t hold that against us.
20. The Wharf Has The Most Delicious Seafood On The East Coast
These floating barges on the shore peddle only the freshest of the fresh. Hunt down one of the vendors selling fresh blue crab or get in line for some crab cakes from Captain White’s, if you can handle the crowd.
21. D.C.’s Schools Are Better Than Yours
The universities, not the high schools. George Mason University, Georgetown and Howard all call this place home. You should enroll now. They’re pretty high-demand.
22. Parking Costs A Lot, So Grab Your SmarTrip Card And Lace Up Your Sneakers
Take public transportation. You’ll pay an arm and a leg to park in the city, and that’s if you can find a spot. Once you’re in, be ready for a lot of walking. But, hey, at least you’ll get your exercise in!
