1. Ballin’ Like A Thirty-Thousandaire
As in, people who live lives of luxury, country-clubbing on the weekends, dining out at the finest restaurants each night, shopping, driving expensive cars, building new homes…
These people live like they’re millionaires and spend like it’s going outta style—and yet—they only make about $30,000 per year. How do they do it? Debt. Lots and lots of debt.
2. The Legit Millionaires All Flock To The North
North Scottsdale is home to most of the city’s country clubs, golf courses, and houses bigger than some people’s entire blocks.
It is the land of multi-millionaires and multi-million dollar homes. The land of luxury cars, saltwater swimming pools that look like works of art, and, somehow, magically, permanently tanned skin, blinding white teeth, and nary a wrinkle.
When people say “Snotsdale,” you can be sure they’re talking about the north part of the city.
3. North And South Scottsdale May As Well Be From Two Different Worlds
Going from North Scottsdale to South Scottsdale is like going from the set of the movie Clueless to Fievel Goes West, plus some art galleries and just a dash more culture.
What I mean is, where North Scottsdale is filled with car dealerships, rich people, McMansions, and more rich people; the Old Town/South Scottsdale area is filled with western stores and galleries, and—gasp!—actual normally sized homes.
4. No Matter Where You Are in the City, Though, The Girls Know They’re Hot
… And most of the time, they’re right, thanks to plastic enhancement, fake tans, hours and hours in the gym and highlights.
Oh come on, in your heart, you know this to be true.
5. Brace Yourself For The Winter Migration Of The Snowbirds
Snowbirds, as in retirees from the Northeast, Pacific Northwest, Midwest, and Canada who flock to Scottsdale for warmer climes during the winter.
Of course there is nothing wrong with the influx of snowbirds over the winter, in fact, it’s a boost to the economy. Just be careful when you get behind the wheel and always buckle up!
Speaking of driving…
6. Scottsdale Is A Car Lover’s Paradise
You say car enthusiast, I say car snob; potato, po-tah-to. Either way, if you’re into cars, particularly nice, shiny, expensive cars, Scottsdale is the place for you.
Not only is this city famous for hosting the world-renowned Barrett-Jackson Auto Show, but North Scottsdale is simply littered with luxury car dealerships, including Maybach, Ferrari, Lamborghini, Saleen, Lotus, McLaren, Aston Martin, Porsche, Bentley, Maserati, and the always classy, Rolls-Royce.
7. If You Aren’t A County Club Member, You Know Someone Who Is
The Country Club at DC Ranch, Mirabel, Whisper Rock, Estancia, and Silver Leaf are just a handful of the country clubs that dot this city with their rolling green golf courses, beautiful swimming pools, overpriced gym memberships, and expensive salads.
So what if you’re not into golf? Chances are, you’re into drinking and driving around in a golf cart. Afterall, that’s what Scottsdale country clubs are all about.
8. Watch Out, It’s Cougar Country
It probably has something to do with the fact that Scottsdale is a fit, health-conscious, and honestly, pretty damn attractive city overall; but whatever the reason, Scottsdale seems to be filled with cougars.
Spot these cougars (hot mamas and sexy singles over the age of 40 or so) in their natural habitat at the Scottsdale Fashion Square, out for a hike, or at any one of the hundreds of nail salons dotted all over the city.
9. Scottsdale Wants to Be South Beach
Money, partying, blond hair, surgically enhanced residents, bigger houses, and hot in more than one way, Scottsdale seems to be transforming into something more like the “South Beach of the Desert,” than the West’s Most Western Town, as its old slogan would have you believe.
10. Scottsdale Haters Are Just Jealous
Yeah people talk a lot of smack about Snotsdale—a simple google search will tell you everything you know about this city's critics.
They’ll cite the rich snobs, the plastic people, the hot as the surface of the freakin’ sun temperatures and the ridiculous mansions. But just look at that list of gripes and it becomes pretty obvious what going on: Jealousy.
Everything Scottsdale critics complain about are things they secretly wish they had. Sure Scottsdale is full of blond, surgically enhanced folks with huge houses and country clubs (and possibly a bit of crippling debt), but you know what? Folks in Scottsdale wouldn't have it any other way.
