1. So You’re From Philadelphia, Right?
Uh, Altoona actually, but that’s just 230 miles away so… good guess.
2. Oh… You’re Not From Philly? So What’s Pittsburgh Like?
You know those two cities are five hours apart and there is actually other stuff between them, right?
3. What’s It Like Growing Up Amish?
[Literally currently replying to a text message] Huh? Oh, yeah it was a blast.
4. But Did You Own A Horse And Buggy?
Yeah, we parked it next to the butter churn.
5. Do You Just Live On Cheesesteaks?
Yeah, the Pennsylvania cow farming industry is really booming thanks to Pennsylvanian diets consisting of nothing but cheese and steak.
6. Wait, So Scrapple Is What?
Yeah, you heard right. Want a bite?
7. Birch Beer… That’s Like Root Beer Right?
Maybe if root beer were brewed from an entirely different plant and by gods, then yeah… it’d be similar.
8. Don’t You Just Love Hershey’s Chocolate?
Um… do you not?
9. Have You Met The Cast Of “It’s Always Sunny” Yet?
You know, there is this thing where shows shoot in Los Angeles even though they’re set in other cities…
10. [In A Terrible Philadelphia Accent] So Youse Guys All Tack Like Dis, Right?
What was that? Oh, sorry. Just trying to think of all the synonyms for “no.”
11. [In A Terrible Pittsburgh Accent] So Yinz Tahhlk Like This, Right?
Oh… thought of some! No. Not at all. Negative. Absolutely not. Not by any means. Never.
12. Did You Go To Penn State?
You do know there are 259 other colleges in PA, don’t you?
13. So, The Pirates… They’re Pretty Terrible, Huh?
Well… thanks for reminding everyone. That was helpful.
14. So What Do You Do For Fun? Tip Cows?
Is that your idea of fun?
15. Why Do You Call It PA?
Because Pennsylvanians are unique, and cool, and actually took the time to learn state abbreviations in middle school.
16. Are You An Eagles Or A Steelers Fan?
Sorry, do Eagles fans actually exist?
17. There Are, Like, A Lot Of Cornfields There, Right?
Hey! How rude! There are a lot of soybean and hay fields too.
18. Did You Just Say Wood-Er? Don’t You Mean W-AHHH-Ter?
Are we really doing this accent thing again?
19. Is Shoofly Pie As Gross As It Sounds?
Yes. Yes it is. Which is why Pennsylvanians will gladly take that whole pie off your hands for you. We’re a very considerate state.
20. So Which Part Of The State Is Pennsyltucky?
Just take a left on Non Existent Avenue and head west toward Nowheresville. Oh… wait, you meant the pretty part with mountains?
21. Do You Put Ketchup On Everything?
How else do you get enough of such a major food group?
22. Did You Ever Run Into Steve Carell?
Oh yeah, Steve. Cool guy. Met him at Rick’s BBQ last summer. You know, he just runs in the same circles as the average Pennsylvanian.
23. Do You Work In A Steel Mill Or A Coal Mine?
A paper company, actually. Yeah, really, not lying at all.
24. But Isn’t Philadelphia Basically New Jersey?
Did you mean isn’t New Jersey basically Philadelphia?
25. You Ever Taken Out A Buck?
Yes, because buck hunting is just an average part of life for an office assistant in Harrisburg. So… want to see it?
26. What’s A Sheetz?
Where you go if you want a hoagie at three in the morning and you’re also low on gas, duh.
27. Oh, Wait, You Mean You Actually Like It There?
No, everyone who lives in Pennsylvania secretly hates it. Just kidding. But did you feel better about your home state for a second there?
What do people always ask you because you’re from PA? Tell us in the comments below!
