1. So, you think Newark’s full of a bunch of unfriendly jerks?
2. Yeah, okay, maybe sometimes…
3. …But only when the other guy starts it!
4. You can name at least a dozen celebrities from Newark…
5. …But the only time you’ve ever seen one is at the Newark airport on their way to NYC…
6. …Or when you actually watch Kazaam because… Shaq!
7. The sound of your neighbor’s car alarm going off for the twelfth time in one night…
8. …Makes you wonder why any of you have a car alarm at all, since no one ever checks them anyway.
9. People come to see Cherry Blossom Land expecting this….
10. …But what they almost always get is this.
11. A friend asks if you want to go Down Neck for dinner…
12. …Or, even better, to Tops Diner at 2 am…
13. …For some pork roll, egg and cheese on a hard roll.
14. You hop in the car and Whitney Houston tells you she wants to dance with somebody…
15. …And you head down the shore, which you swear is going to be just like this…
16. …And nothing at all like what it is on TV…
17. ...Until you get there and see this…
18. …And immediately want to go turn around and go right back to Newark...
19. …To watch the New Jersey Giants kill it on the field…(Yeah, that’s right)
20. …And find yourself asking this age-old question.
What do you think most accurately describes living in Newark? Tell us in the comments below! 
