1. Brooklyn Makes It, Manhattan Makes It Bigger
There can be a good argument made for the fact that Brooklyn makes it—art, music, food—but they still have to schlep it to Manhattan to actually “make it.”
SoHo may have been a hotbed of art 30 years ago, but now the creative underclass is in Bedstuy. Jean-Michael Basquiat may have lived in the East Village during the 1980s, but now the loft where he died is a super secret and trendy Japanese restaurant.
People can be sentimental about the island, but Manhattan itself is always morphing into something new. And now it's rocketed forward to a place where there are more Starbucks and spas than buskers.
But to really arrive, you still need to have a show in the Village, even though the actual artists fled years ago.
Score: Brooklyn: +1 for creativity, -1 for still needing Manhattan.
Manhattan: +1 for still being in demand -1 for pricing all the artists out.
Running Score: 0-0
2. Ouch, My Aching Commute
On average, Brooklynites spend 104 more hours commuting to work than their Manhattan counterparts annually. However, they get to go home to a place with a sustainable garden out back and a locally crafted brew in the fridge.
On the flip side, Manhattanites can buy batteries after midnight at a bodega from a guy named Guy.
Score: Brooklyn: -1 for time spent on the train, +1 for home-iness.
Manhattan: +1 for being able to go out and buy anything, at any hour.
Running Score: 1-0 Manhattan
3. How Do You Want To Risk Your Life On the Street
In Brooklyn you're more likely to be injured by a family of hipsters with their babies Eyelet and Piper in their Metro Transit Stroller while walking Barley, their dog. The sidewalk's not big enough for everyone, solo pedestrian!
In Manhattan, the sidewalk can't contain everyone rushing to get that first batch of Cronuts in the morning at Dominique Ansel Bakery.
Either way, your life will flash in front of your eyes.
Score: -1 Brooklyn for dealing with people who name their children Eyelet and Piper.
Manhattan: +1 because at least you'll get to smell a hybrid of a doughnut and a croissant while limping away from the stampeding crowd.
Running Score: 2-0 Manhattan
4. Speaking Of Food...
The Cronut craze in Manhattan was waaay out-weirded by the Ramen burger craze in Williamsburg. First offered at the Smorgasboard outdoor food market in August, 2013, the burger with a “bun” of cooked ramen was a huge hit—so much so that even Manhattanites crossed the bridge and stood in line to get their paws on one.
The Ramen Burger’s creator, Keizo Shimamoto, has already trademarked the name and hopes to open a permanent restaurant. But to even things out, fried chicken is the protein of the moment for everyone across NYC.
Score: -1 Brooklyn for ramen buns, +1 for fried chicken love.
Manhattan: +1 for sweet, sweet fried chicken love.
Running Score: 3-0 Manhattan
5. Size Does Matter, Especially In New York
In Brooklyn you can visit the 52-acre botanical garden. In Manhattan you can stroll for days in the 778-acres of Central Park. The Brooklyn Botanical Garden features a Japanese Hill-and-Pond Garden. In Central Park you can commune with John Lennon in Strawberry Fields. Bigger is definitely better.
Score: Manhattan +1
Running Score: 4-0 Manhattan
6. The Big Apple “Workout”
Flickr user Mark Groves
In Manhattan people might ride the subway or the bus or catch a cab – but they walk everywhere in between. And there’s a lot in between. Sure, they could also join any number of gyms or trendy workout classes, but who needs to spend that kind of money when you walk the way a Manhattanite does?
In Brooklyn, the most reliable form of exercise is bike riding or the “G Train Sprint.” You know what I mean. Again, they could find a gym or exercise class – but Brooklynites hardly need a personal trainer to elevate their heart rates.
Score: Tie. Hey, in this day and age, exercise is exercise.
Running Score: 4-0 Manhattan
7. Chow Down Without Chewing Exhaust
In Manhattan, eating outside at a restaurant means sitting at a teeny table on a sidewalk surrounded by construction and car fumes.
In Brooklyn, it means sitting outside on a patio under starlight. Every borough feels its restaurants are vastly superior to the others, there's only one clear winner.
Score: Brooklyn: +2 (extra point for it actually being true)
Running Score: 4-2 Manhattan
8. Crickets or Sirens
In Manhattan, the sound of ambulances and cars lull(?) residents to sleep.
In Brooklyn it's quiet, once the families settle in for the night.
Which borough is actually better for sleeping? Entirely subjective.
Score: Tie. You’ll always be watching the clock saying “Okay, if I fall asleep right now…”
Running Score: 4-2 Manhattan
9. Nets Or Knicks
Oh boy. Though the Nets only moved from New Jersey to Brooklyn in 2012, their crosstown rivalry with the Manhattan-based Knicks has already escalated sky-high. The two teams are always fighting to be “The Team” of the city, and they live to trash talk each other.
It’s not just the fans and their unforgiving “GIF-ing” skills, either. Team owners, players and even local politicians have led the charge in this Battle of the Boroughs with cutting comments in interviews, billboards, and commercials.
It got so bad that a third party actually had to step in. NBA commissioner David Stern called both verbose team owners in for a sit-down in 2013 to make nice. Good luck with making that stick.
Boorish Behavior Score: -1 Brooklyn, -1 Manhattan.
Running Score: 3-1 Manhattan
10. Ugh, Get Out Of My Neighborhood
One thing that both Manhattan and Brooklyn do agree on is that gentrification is a big and complex issue.
Sure, it's great to walk down the street in the village and not be mugged. But was “Stop and Frisk” or the “Broken Window” theory the way to get there?
And sure, no one likes being panhandled on the subway, but is aggressively arresting panhandlers on the subway a trade-off for the Disney-fication of the city?
Don't even get Spike Lee started on the subject. His obscenity-filled description about what was lost when gentrification hit Brooklyn says it all. Less music, more calls to the police. More garbage pick-ups, less historical culture and higher rent.
Score: Tie—everyone's a curmudgeon.
Final Score: Sorry Brooklyn, Manhattan wins it. Were you really surprised? 
