1. No Irvinite Goes To The Weenie Roast Expecting Bratwurst
One of the biggest music festivals of the year happens right in Irvine’s backyard (Who says nothing happens here? More on that in a sec…).
The KROQ Weenie Roast brings in both up-and-comers and alt-rock gods for a full day of musical lunacy. And we fibbed a little bit, of course there are food trucks lining up with all sorts of weenies slathered in goodness.
2. People From Irvine Know That Planned Communities Are Actually Fantastic
Maybe you don’t like beige. Maybe you hate anteaters for some unfathomable reason. Maybe you’re a Canadian goose who wants some breadcrumbs (no one knows on the Internet)!
But even if you fall into any of these camps, you have to admit that lowest violent crime, pristine grounds pretty much everywhere and one of the best public education districts in the whole country doesn’t sound bad, and it’s all because those folks upstairs have your (and their) best interests at heart.
3.Irvine Is So Safe The Only Thing The People There Have To Fear Are The Geese
While we’re on the subject of how pleasant Irvine is, does it really come as any surprise that it has had the fewest violent crimes out of any American city (according to the FBI) for the ninth year in a row?
Yeah, the biggest thing folks in Irvine need to deal with are the Canadian geese that will lose it if you feed them. Keep those breadcrumbs at home.
4. Everyone In Irvine Takes Massive Pride In The Anteater
You have to admire the UC system’s penchant for bizarre animals (if you can believe it, the anteater isn’t even the most outlandish—that definitely goes to UC Santa Cruz’s banana slug).
The anteater was selected to represent UC Irvine after two water polo players campaigned fiercely for the beloved formicaphile from its feature in the comic strip B.C. Zot Peter Zot!.
5. The Term “Blizzard” Doesn’t Have Anything To Do With Weather Patterns
Hey, have y’all ever heard of a little game called “World of Warcraft”?
Yeah, the one that robbed you/your loved one of a social life through much of the mid-2000s.
Yeah, no, we’re still mourning that loss, but Irvine is only benefiting from it because Irvine is home to Blizzard, the company that developed this MMO.
6. Pigs Will Fly Before Construction Is Finished At UC Irvine
While we’re on the subject of UCI, it should bear mentioning the unofficial nickname: “Under Construction Indefinitely.”
While we don’t have any figures for how well construction companies have been doing for the last, uh, forever in the City of Irvine, maybe we can at least attribute this to The Master Plan?
7. Irvine Police Are Always On Their Game, So Jaywalkers Beware
While a couple miles north in south central LA there’s a gang crisis, the biggest threat to Irvine’s peace and quiet is the occasional small-time pot dealer.
As a result, the Irvine police (in their snazzy white scootermobiles) are always on point to squelch any unseemly behavior (which sometimes might just be someone walking somewhere instead of driving).
8. The Color Beige Will Make Any Irvine Native Homesick
This isn’t a joke: since Irvine has a Master Plan going for it, the entire city is planned out, and you know what that: brilliant-colored homes need not apply. Beige is where it’s at, baby. Stucco, too.
9. Irvine's HOA Are Scarier Than Any Government Entity
Sure, all the really big problems like crime and the natural predators of bloodthirsty waterfowl have been dealt with, but there’s one thing that still keeps Irvinites—well, at least the home-owning variety—up at night: homeowner associations.
These enforcers of the aforementioned beige color scheme on a residential level can be seen measuring lawns with rulers and calling emergency meetings over slightly out of spec mailboxes. They’re basically the Galactic Empire on a neighborhood scale.
10. People In Irvine Go To The Spectrum To Have A Great Time
That being said, if you ever get a hair up your you-know-what and need to let some steam off (we’re all human, except for the super-intelligent geese), fret not: you don’t actually need to flee the homogenous beige of sunny Irvine, because you have The Spectrum!
No, not that spectrum, this is the one with the massive Ferris wheel, every restaurant you like and too much shopping. Yeah, it’s the better spectrum, we know. 
