1. Peyton Manning? Psssh. John Elway Will Forever Be Our Hometown Hero.
It was big news when Peyton Manning left the colts for the Broncos. Big news for Indiana. Peyton is great and all, but only one quarterback will forever hold Coloradans’ hearts.
That’s right, John Elway is a god around these parts. Not only did he bring glory to the state with two Super Bowl titles, but he also loves it here so much that he stuck around to become Executive VP of Operations for his team. It’s a love story for the ages, people.
2. The Only Way To Get Around Is In An SUV
SUVs are a way of life in these parts. Colorado alone probably keeps Subaru and Jeep in business. At any given moment there are more SUVs on the road than it’s possible to count. This is because Coloradans understand snow. And mountains.
3. You Don't Get Lightheaded Anymore From The Elevation
When you first moved here, you couldn't jog a mile because of the thin air. But you adjusted and now you're pretty much a superhuman.
4. But Dinner Does Take Longer When You're A Mile High
Many a meatloaf has been served raw in these parts. Anyone living in a mountain state can tell you that you need to add a few (like twenty) minutes to your cooking time. Salmonella is no joke, yo.
5. Life Ain’t Worth Living Without A Good Brew
Colorado is home to about 230 breweries. If that doesn’t sound impressive, consider this: The Centennial State makes up 2 percent of the nation’s population, but has over 10 percent of the nation’s craft breweries. Coloradans don’t do much of anything without a case of beer. And you can bet it’ll be good beer. Keep your Miller Lite at home. It ain’t welcome here.
6. You Want To Strangle Californian Transplants
We get that your state is unaffordable and becoming unbearable to live in. That’s unfortunate. By that I mean, unfortunately not our problem.
Californians have been flooding into Colorado for the past decade in an attempt to escape the skyrocketing cost of living and horrible air quality, and most Coloradans are not happy about it. You can tell by all the bumper stickers that proclaim “Go Back To Cali.”
7. The Term “Colorful” Is Extremely Subjective
It isn’t exactly clear who came up with the slogan “Colorful Colorado,” but that man deserves a medal. Sure, this state is filled with a lot of beautiful mountains, lakes, rivers and plains that are full of wonderful colors–for about three months a year.
Then it turns brown. Really brown. Around April or May the heat begins to set in and with that comes the death of all flora and fauna. Except in the mountains. The trees stay pretty green there. The rest of Colorado begins to look like a desert or a scene straight out of Tremors. This might not be Arizona, but no one would hold it against you if you get confused for a minute.
8. Landscaping? More Like Rock Piling.
Remember how it gets so hot here that everything just dies? Well, that includes your yard. Colorado isn’t exactly the dream state for those with a green thumb. But, if you’ve got a passion for geology, this might be your place.
Most Coloradans accept the fact that they’ll never be winning any contests in Home & Garden. So they just throw a few rocks there, tumbleweed here and call it a day. Besides, they’re all too busy trekking it to the mountains to really care enough to mow the grass.
9. Not Everyone Here Is A Pothead
It is legal for people in Colorado to smoke weed, in case you missed out on that little tidbit in the news. That doesn’t mean that they all do. In fact, most Coloradans are too busy rappelling off rock faces and carving fresh powder on the slopes to be laid out on the couch craving munchies.
10. Denver Is NOT In The Mountains. I Repeat, Denver Is NOT In The Mountains
There’s a common misconception made by everyone that doesn’t actually live there that Denver is in the Rockies. It’s not. Close, but no cigar. It actually sits to the east of the Rocky Mountains, nestled at the bottom of what’s called the foothills. That’s the hilly part that’s not quite mountain, not quit flat.
In fact, the mountains only make up less than half of this outdoor mecca. A large portion of the eastern half of Colorado belongs to the Great Plains. It’s home to farmers, kangaroo rats and buffalos, mostly. It kind of looks like western Texas, only more awesome and the people are less frightening.
Feature image source: Flickr user N. Lee the Adequate 
