1. For Chandlerites, A Fun Evening Is A Bottle Of Wine And A Movie On Demand
Don’t be surprised if the bars in Chandler close an hour or two before last call. Most of the people in Chandler are nine-to-fivers and there are also a large number of retirees so they’re not so much into the nightlife. Chandlerites are more the “bottle-of-wine-and-a-movie-On-Demand” type than the “fist-pump-till-you’re-soaked-in-sweat” crowd. And that’s how they like it.
2. Most Everybody In Chandler Has 2.3 Kids, A Two-Car Garage, And A Timeshare In Scottsdale
What, is it the timeshare thing? That’s just because they’re practical. And you can trade that time in for a vacation anywhere in the… let’s not do this right now.
But we should get one thing straight—Chandler is no college town. More than half of the residents of Chandler are married, compared to about 30 percent in ASU-central, Tempe. This means nights are a little bit quieter there than in much of the rest of Metro-Phoenix.
3. Chandler Guys And Gals Make Un-Cracked Algorithms Tremor In Fear
Though it may not be world-renown as a brain engine to the same extent as Silicon Valley, Chandler is making quite a name for itself in the world of technology by attracting companies like Ebay, PayPal, and Intel to set up shop in town.
Maybe it’s the education level—more than 90 percent of Chandler residents are high school grads and over 40 percent have college degrees. Or perhaps the education level is due to the presence of all of the tech jobs. Whatever way you wanna slice it, Chandlerites are a bunch of smarty pants.
4. Everyone In Chandler Is A Member Of A Homeowners’ Association
Even easy suburban living has its drawbacks—or benefits, depending on how you look at it. But since much of the housing in Chandler consists of large-scale preplanned communities, this often means a strict series of regulations for residents that are designed to keep the neighborhoods “nice” and the riffraff (whatever that is) out.
For the (un)lucky members, this means bringing your garbage cans in quickly after pick-up, strictly endemic landscaping (sorry—no grass!) and nobody—and I mean NOBODY—gets to leave their Christmas lights up all year long. Any transgressions are sure to be noted and promptly reported by the nosy Neds and Nellies of your particular cul-de-sac.
5. Chandlerites Will Straight-Up Scream At You For Speeding In Their Neighborhoods
Look, it’s not like they’re all just super high-strung there, but the fact is that most of the houses in those neighborhoods have kids in them. Sometimes, believe it or not, those kids like to go outside those houses for one reason or another.
So the local speed racers (we’re talking about teenagers new to driving, more often than not) are sure to get an earful from any parents that happen to be out chatting with one another during the cool hours of the day. For this reason, speeders out late at night or during the hottest part of the summer are likely to go relatively unnoticed.
6. When People Here Go Out On The Town, It’s Usually To Another Town
Don’t get me wrong—there’s quite a bit to do in Chandler between the parks, the revitalized downtown, the Center for the Arts, and a handful of luxurious movie theaters and fine dining restaurants in town.
But when you’ve only got the baby sitter for one night, you’re going to want to use it on a concert in downtown Phoenix, a live theater performance at Gammage Auditorium in Tempe, or checking into a world-class hotel and spa in Scottsdale. Still, no matter what you choose, you can stay within thirty minutes of home and still feel like you actually had a chance to get away.
7. Chandler Locals Know Their Way Around A Court, A Field And Anything Else You Play A Sport On
The other high school sports teams in the state know it’s no laughing matter when a Chandler school comes to town. Chandler’s high schools are big—we’re talking enrollments of 3000-plus—so the varsity squads always get to be really selective.
Perhaps it should be no surprise that Chandler schools have produced more than their fair share of professional athletes.
8. Chandlerites Keep Their Shirts Tucked In
You can laugh and make suburbanite jokes all you want, and you might not be completely off the mark with some of them, but Chandlerites vote Republican, play golf and participate in PTA meetings. Some fly business class, others even have expense accounts.
But did we mention that Chandlerites also make more money?—about $20k more per household than the average in Arizona. Maybe it’s time you consider tucking your shirt in, too.
9. People From Chandler Are Exceedingly Devoted To Their Cars
No, this doesn’t mean they all drive hot rods or imported coupes, however the Chandler Car Show every February is certainly worth a look. Rather, Chandler is a town of commuters, and the city isn’t exactly top-notch when it comes to public transportation (yet!).
So, in Chandler it’s more of the dependency-thing that makes the automobile so important to its residents. But still, most Chandlerites drive through a wash once a week, spend extra for vacuum service and always keep a shady parking space in the garage whether they’re driving a Ford, a Fiat or a Ferrari.
10. Chandlerites Don’t Need To Lock Their Doors (But They Do Anyway)
Okay, so maybe Chandler isn’t completely crime-free, but their crime rates are markedly lower than those of the surrounding cities. The murder rate in Phoenix proper, for example, is more than five-times higher than that of Chandler, and Phoenicians also experience about three-times as many burglaries per capita than do Chandlerites. Bet that quiet suburban life is looking pretty good right about now.
Did we miss anything? Tell us what you think of Chandler in the comments below!
