1. “It’s A Dry Heat, So It’s No Big Deal”
The one good thing about the heat here is the universal understanding that it’s a dry heat, as everyone will tell you. Of course, that doesn’t mean much when you can’t get in your car because the door handle melted off in your hand.
2. “I’m In The Mood For Mexican, Let’s Get Taco Bell”
Never been said here, no question. Unless, of course, it was 2 a.m. and everywhere else is closed. It’s happened to all of us before.
3. “I Studied So Much When I Was At Arizona State”
You don’t come to ASU for the books. You come for the fun. And the sports. And the fun. Then maybe a couple of books if there’s enough time left over.
4. “The Grand Canyon Is So Overrated”
It’s just one of the seven wonders of the world. Nothing much to see here.
5. “Right, Your State Is Definitely Much Hotter Than Arizona”
You just don’t know heat until you’ve survived a summer in Arizona. You might think 91 degrees is hot, but you’ve only earned the right to complain to an Arizonan about the heat when you’ve felt your blood turn from AB positive into molten lava.
6. “Scorpions? Nah, They Don’t Bother Me.”
If you freak out when you unwittingly walk into a spider web, try opening your front door and seeing one these bad boys waiting for you. Suddenly spiders seem like lady bugs, right?
7. “Just Park Over There, Right In The Sun”
If someone in Arizona tells you to park your car anywhere but under shade, they’re playing a cruel joke on you. Picture the hottest thing you’ve ever touched, now multiply that by the surface of the sun and that’s what every surface of your car will feel like after a few hours.
8. “Eegees Isn’t Really My Thing”
Silly rabbit. Eegeees are everybody’s thing, even if they don’t know it yet.
9. “But At Least There Aren’t Many Bugs”
You might think that the lack of humidity means an absence of everyone’s common enemy: the mosquito. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Bring the bug spray.
10. “Don’t Forget To Set The Clocks Back!”
Can someone please explain why everywhere else still does that springing forward and falling back dance with their clocks every year? Ditch the chaos and move to Arizona where 12 o’clock is at the same time that it will be six months from now.
11. “I Hate Winter”
Winter temperatures in Phoenix are like summer temperatures in Florida, minus the humidity.
Winter is when you can actually enjoy yourself outdoors, which is why it rules.
12. “The Sunset Is Outrageously Boring”
Yeah, Arizonans say that all the time.
13. “I’d Like A Hot Dog With Ketchup, Please”
You don’t desecrate a hot dog with something as elementary as ketchup. In Arizona, you get yourself a Sonoran and you load it on a toasted bun with onions, chopped tomatoes, beans, jalapenos, mustard and mayonnaise. Now you’re talking.
14. “I’m Just Bummed That It Never Snows Here”
Chances are, when you hear Arizona, you think of dry sands, lots of rock and desert – not ski slopes. But that’s why you’re missing out on a whole lot of awesome. In Arizona, you can be camping in the desert on Saturday and skiing the slopes on Sunday, confusing all of your outsider friends on Instagram.
15. “Baseball? Who Cares About Baseball?”
Arizona is home to Spring Training for the Cactus League. Grab a blanket and come join in the fun with everybody else from Arizona and the rest of the southwest.
16. “Arizona Pizza Isn’t Much To Write Home About”
Did you know that Arizona has been credited with having the best pizza in the country? Now you do, and you’re welcome.
17. “When Did The Diamondbacks Beat The Yankees?”
A lot of Arizonans remember the date the Diamondbacks sent the Yankees back home with their tails between their legs during the 2001 World Series better than they do their own wedding anniversary dates.
18. “I Get Tired Of The Same Old Scenery”
You could visit the same spot in Arizona a dozen times in the same month and somehow see something new and get a different experience from it every time. It might all look similar in photos, but in person it’s a very overwhelming privilege.
19. “I Don’t Have Time To Golf”
When you’re an Arizonan, you make time to golf.
20. “I Never Get To See Any Stars Out Here”
Come sit under a midnight Arizona sky just once and see if you can still say you don’t believe that something is out there somewhere, whatever it might be. I dare you.
21. “Arizona Iced Tea Is The Best Iced Tea Ever”
Arizona Iced Tea isn’t really made in Arizona. It’s made in New York. So… there’s that.
22. “Laser Tag Is For Kids”
Phoenix is home to the largest indoor laser tag arena in the world. And it is the greatest fun you’ve ever had. So if you’d rather wait over there and be a “grown up,” that’s your loss.
23. “You Don’t Really See Too Many Fancy Cars Around Here”
Vintage cars, muscle cars, and cars that go vroom vroom extremely loud…You won’t get ten feet in Arizona without finding someone who obviously cares more about his car than he does human interaction.
24. “Sunscreen Is For Sissies”
Don’t ever listen to anybody who tells you that you won’t need sunscreen in Arizona. The only people who would probably say such a thing are not looking out for your best interests and you will regret taking their advice so, so much.
25. “There’s Nowhere To Get Your Kicks In Arizona”
Arizona is proof that life is a highway. Whether you ride it or not is up to you.
Did we miss anything? Tell us the last thing anyone from Arizona would say in the comments below! 
