The author's posts are entirely his or her own and may not always reflect the views of Movoto.
1. You Are Required By (Unwriten) Law To Dress Your Babies Up Like Eskimos
Just about the first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions Albany is snow--lots and lots of snow. And it's true; Albany always seems to get more than its share of the white stuff. Winters start early, stay late, and many an Albany mom has had to cope with the challenge of designing Halloween costumes that fit over snowsuits. Personally, I'd just as soon dress all the kiddies up as little polar bears.
2. You're From The World Capital Of Boring, And Proud Of It!
If you type "Albany is so..." into the Google search bar, the first (and pretty much only) suggestion you get is "why is Albany so boring?" In fact, a 2011 New York Magazine article about Governor Andrew Cuomo's girlfriend went so far as to call Albany the "World Capital of Boring". Albanians, however, find this characterization to be a source of perverse pride. A popular blog about local news and events is called "Keep Albany Boring".
3. Albanians Are Just Like Everyone Else--Only More So
Marketing data provider Acxiom Corporation ranked the country's top consumer test markets based on which city's residents most closely approximated Joe and Jane Average American in terms of age, marital status, home ownership, income and other characteristics. Whoohoo! Albany came out right on top! Most average city in America!! Eat that, second-place Rochester!
4. Upstate Is So Much Better Than Downstate, It Should Really Be Its Own State
Albany is the capital of the Empire State, but many Albanians feel that their interests often come in second to those of the wealthy downstaters. There have been numerous intrastate secession movements from the time of the Revolutionary War up through the present day, none of them successful, but Albanians would just as soon ally themselves with the rest of the upstate region and see NYC cut loose to govern itself.
5. Smallbany Isn't An Insult, It's A Way Of Life
While Albany is actually a fairly large city, with a population of close to 100,000, it still has a small-town feel. The nickname "Smallbany" may be meant as an insult by folks who don't live there (particularly residents of a certain city 150 miles to the south), but Albanians are perfectly happy to have everything they need within a 20-minute drive.
6. Albanians Are All Named Van Something Or Other
Albany was founded in the 17th century as a Dutch trading post, and up until the early 19th century, most of its residents were descended from early Dutch settlers. While you won't see too many Albanians tromping the streets in wooden shoes, and windmills are few and far between, there are still quite a few businesses named Dutch this, that and the other thing. And, yes, you're likely to run into more than a few Van der Whosits.
7. Tulips Are Kind Of A Big Deal Here
Another legacy of Albany's Dutch past lives on in its dedication to the tulip, which is the city's official flower. In fact, Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands even proclaimed an official Albany tulip, the "Orange Wonder". The annual Tulip Festival is held in Washington Park every Mother's Day Weekend, which is just about the time those lazy cold climate bulbs finally start to bloom.
8. Only Locals Are Welcome--Everyone Else Can Get Out
A Conde Nast Traveler survey of its readers ranked Albany as the seventh-unfriendliest city in the United States--and what's worse, as the thirteenth-unfriendliest in the entire world! Well, who can blame the Albanians for being a mite grumpy? Not only is their city seen as cold and dull, but the magazine also called it a "through station" rather than an actual destination.
9. You Love Beer More Than Life Itself
Albanians do love their brewskis. The C.H. Evans Brewing Company, owned by a family of brewers who have been in business since 1786 (minus a short hiatus during Prohibition), is housed in the old Albany Pump Station. They've got 12 craft beers on tap, including the Kick-Ass Brown Ale that lived up to its name by snagging a gold medal three times at the Great American Beer Festival. There's also a menu chock full of bar-food classics like wings, nachos, ribs and, uh, something called golabki. Mmmm, mmmm, serve us up a big ol' slabki of golabki!
10. Bring On The Zombie Apocalypse, We're Ready!
Why would zombies even want to mess with invading Albany, anyway? You'd think they'd all get stuck in snowdrifts. If, for some reason, they get tired of munching on brains in the Big Apple and do make the long trek north, Albanians will be ready for them. The annual Zombie Walk each September has the locals immune to the site of rotting corpses staggering through the streets, while the Fredricksen Library has been known to offer classes in zombie apocalypse survival skills. We know two items we'd for sure want in our bug-out bag: A selection of comics from Zombie Planet and a bottle of locally distilled Zombie Apocalypse vodka.
