15 Signs You’ve Lived In Wisconsin For Too Long

1. You Have A Cheese Curd Stuck In Your Aorta

The doctors say not to worry. It’s part of you now.

2. Storm Warnings On TV Just Make You Change The Channel Out Of Boredom…

Thunder? Lightening? High winds? Chance of tornadic activity? Well, better continue watching your show in the basement, just to be safe.

3. …And Winter Storm Warnings Are Even More Ignored

While people in other parts of the country panic and stock up on supplies in the day or two before getting a couple of inches of snow, you look outside as the snowfall reaches a foot and decide it’s about time to put that pizza in the oven and start a movie. If the power does go out due to the blizzard, you’re already covered; in fact, you have everything you need to survive for a couple of weeks, at least.

4. You’ve Grilled Out In The Snow

So what if it’s snowing so hard you can barely see the grill that’s just a few feet from your back door? You want a grilled burger and you’ll have a grilled burger, and you’ll cook it while wearing shorts! Is this crazy? No, it’s Wisconsin.

5. You’ve Explored Every Inch Of Door County

You’ve browsed through every little adorable shop and then sat on a bench and held your mom’s stuff so she could go back through them. You’ve rented boats, sipped wine, sampled cheeses, picked cherries and bought more canned items than you will ever need. You’ve also eaten at every favorite local restaurant more than once, taken ferry rides and watched more sunrises and sunsets over the water than you’ve seen anywhere else. Time for a new vacation spot.

6. You Refer To 40 Degree Weather As “Too Warm”

And because you felt so hot in this balmy weather, you put on shorts and flip-flops. While you were out, you encountered many other people, also wearing shorts and flip-flops.

7. You Own A “Hat” That Looks Like Cheese

… And you’ve worn it in public.

8. You’ve Worn Through The Bottoms Of Several Swimsuits At Noah’s Ark

And yes, you do own a pair of water shoes. And yes, they are comfy, and yes you have looked in a mirror, thank you very much.

9. You Think Bucky Badger Is Watching You

Sure, the Bucky Badger logo doesn’t seem threatening at first. He’s an adorable animal, strutting his stuff while wearing a sweater. After a while, though, his stare becomes menacing. His eyes seem to follow you. You start to wonder why he wears a sweater if he already has a coat of fur, and what he might he hiding. And you see him everywhere, every day, since this is Wisconsin.

10. You Talk Kind Of Funny

In Wis-kahn-sin, you go to M’Waukee, not Milwaukee. You drink from a bubbler (not a water fountain). You go out on the lake in da bowt (not the boat). After going to the store, you will carry your purchases in a baig (not a bag) to your car, where you will likely encounter stop n’ go lights (not stop lights, not traffic lights) as you drive. If you’d rather not speak like this, just keep driving.

11. You’re Finally Sick Of Fish Fries

It didn’t seem possible, but you’ve eaten one too many baskets of fried fish and hush puppies. In fact, you think the smell may be coming out of your pores.

12. You Don’t Even Want To Think About Ice Fishing Anymore

You used to wait for the ice to be thick enough with all the anticipation of a kid waiting for summer break. But now, not even the sight of your auger and jigs on a picturesque January day make you want to sit on a frozen lake until you can’t feel your face anymore. The magic is gone.

13. You Know The Leinenkugel Brothers Personally

You, John, Dick and Jake go back. Waaay back. In fact, you practically gave them the idea for the Leinie Lodge.

14. It Just Dawned On You That Coasties Don’t Know You’re Talking About Them

You know that “sconnies” are locals and “coasties” are from the coastal states and the Chicago area. You’ve taken pride in your sconnie-ness, and rolled your eyes at the ignorance of coasties when it comes to all things Wisconsin. Why are they even here, anyway? Then one day you realize that coasties are oblivious to the name you’ve given them, and have no idea you care so much about mocking them. Seems like a waste of energy, huh?

15. You’ve Tried Every New Glarus Brewing Co. Beer

Ha, just kidding – that could never happen. If you leave Wisconsin, you may go into New Glarus withdrawal. Pass the Serendipity, please! Feature Image Source: Wisconsin Badgers Facebook Did we miss anything? Tell us how you can tell someone’s been in Wisconsin too long in the comments below!