1. You Have To High-Five Yourself When The Seahawks Get In The Super Bowl (Again)
We’re going to the Super Bowl, guys!!! Oh, just me? Cool. I’m sure your sucky team will do better next year.
2. You Complain About Having To Wear Sunglasses Everywhere
What is that giant ball of fire in the sky and why are the rest of you not freaking out, too? Is it a meteor? Is the Armageddon? Somebody call Bruce Willis!
3. You Keep Saying That You Have To Find The “Real” Coffee
How people around the rest of the country are okay with the stuff that passes for coffee in their cities is a total mystery to Seattle. It’s pretty difficult not to walk up to everyone in line at Starbucks locations throughout the country and tell them, “You’re welcome.” But not having a Vivace anywhere in sight is the definition of torture.
4. You Long For The Days When You Could Catch A Few Extra Zs During Your Morning Commute
Riding the ferry gives you some extra time to lounge out, close your eyes and relax before the work day sets in. Try doing that on the subway anywhere else…If you dare.
5. Wearing A Suit Makes You Feel Like You’re Choking To Death
In Seattle, a good pair of worn in jeans and a flannel (yes, flannel was only a trend for you outsiders!) is all anyone needs for almost anything. Other places, though, have the audacity to expect you to wear a dress shirt or a suit to work and funerals and stuff. And heels? Don’t even get me started on the heels.
6. You Keep Looking For The Volcano
Other places have mountains. But they’re just a sad, generic stand-in for something as epic as Mount Rainier. And you can’t forecast the weather for the season off of them, so what good are they?
7. You Start Asking Locals If They Have A Troll Under Their Bridge, Too
Seattle may be the only place on Earth where you enjoy knowing that there’s a troll dwelling underfoot. And no, sewer rats don’t count, NYC, even if they are just as big.
8. The Apple Snobs Are Judging Your Dell Laptop
Why are all these Apple lovers so offended by my Windows phone? And don’t dare open a laptop in a (crappy) coffee shop if it doesn’t have an Apple logo on it. Stop the Microsoft shaming and leave me be, you judgmental lunatics!
9. You’re Bothered By The Lack Of Creativity At The Local Car Wash
You don’t realize how much you love getting your car washed under a giant punk elephant until you’re washing your car under a showerhead with eyeballs. It’s like they don’t even try…
10. You Suddenly Feel Self Conscious About Making Dick’s Jokes
You can technically make Dick’s jokes anywhere you’d like. They’re just a lot more vulgar everywhere else.
11. You Find Yourself Bragging About “Legends” Like These
Cobain/Nirvana, Vedder/Pearl Jam, Cornell/Soundgarden, and the rise of grunge. The scene may have died off everywhere else, but it will always be part of the marrow of Seattle. Very few cities get to experience such a phenomenon.
12. Having A Conversation About Legit Music Has Become Impossible
You want to talk about The Purrs, everyone else wants to talk about Katy Perry. The struggle is real.
13. You Have Gone On Tirades About What Makes A Donut A Donut
What is this Dunkin Donut crap and why are they posing for real doughnuts? This place is a prison!! Bring me some Street Donuts! In fact, everything from the Public Market! Even the crowds!
14. You Bring Your Own Cream Cheese With You Everywhere
These hot dog trucks are a complete joke. Just ketchup? Are you people kidding?
15. You Deeply Question Anyone Who Says They Like Soccer
You can find soccer lovers outside Seattle, obviously. But you have to look really hard, guys.
16. You Die A Little Inside Knowing There Are No Orcas Out There
It’s true. There are no Orcas in Chicago. I know, I was as devastated as you…
17. Beaches Are So Underwhelming
Speaking of orcas, it doesn’t take long to miss places like La Push. The beaches everywhere else are so uninspired. Wow, look at all this sand. And water. And… Nothing else. Oooooooh.
18. You Say “You Call This Rain” Every Time It Rains
When you leave Seattle, you realize just how many people think they’re going to melt if the rain touches them. All these umbrellas! You guys are doing it all wrong.
19. You Wish You Respected The EMP A Little More
No one really gets it, but it was fun to try to explain to outsiders. It’s a, ummm, smashed guitar? We think? All the buildings everywhere else look exactly the same and aren’t nearly as fun.
20. You Find Yourself Really Missing The Space Needle
You never cared about it while you were here. You never called, you never wrote. Now it’s gone and you can’t get it back… Cherish your landmarks while you have them. In the immortal words of Cinderella, you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone.
21. You Tell Stories Of Random Run Ins With Tom Skerritt And No One Cares
Outsiders don’t get it. But that’s only because Tom Skerritt doesn’t want to live with them. These stories are gold, people, come on!
22. You Watch Twilight And Say “I Lived There… Kinda!”
I mean, you know, if you watched Twilight. Which you would never do, ever, because the only thing worse than a glittering vampire is a coffee from Dunkin Donuts, obviously. But, the option is no longer there, even if it is technically Forks. All that moss, all those evergreens and spruce trees, those gloriously overcast skies… It will always cue the nostalgia for home.
Did we miss anything? Tell us the biggest thing you miss about Seattle in the comments below! 
