These Are The 10 Most Boring Places In Michigan

Ah, Michigan, The Great Lakes State. The state of warm days spent on the lake, rich culture, arts, fascinating and fit people everywhere you look, and so many things to do in each and every city that you won’t even know where to start. In fact, we’ve already made a list of the 10 most exciting places in Michigan. Then there are some places that aren’t exactly bastions of excitement. Here are the 10 most boring places in Michigan, starting with our winner (or loser, depending on how you look at it), Norton Shores: 1. City of Norton Shores
2. City of Southgate
3. City of Roseville
4. City of Romulus
5. City of Southfield
6. City of Oak Park
6. City of Warren
8. City of Taylor
9. City of Inkster
10. City of Lincoln Park If you’re a resident of Norton Shores, or any one of these top 10, you might be torn between outrage: “Our city made the most boring list!” and elation that your city actually won, well, something: “Our city made a list!” Anyway, in the following paragraphs we’ll go over the method of this analysis, and we’ll tell you why these 10 unlucky cities made the cut.

How We Created This Ranking

To create this list of most boring places, we started, perhaps fittingly, at a rather boring place ourselves: The 2010 U.S. Census. Here, we gathered all of the places with populations of 20,000 or more, which left us with a total of 56 places. After that, we collected data on each place using the 2010 U.S. Census and business listings, to measure these eight criteria:

• Nightlife per capita (bars, clubs, comedy, etc.)
• Live music venues per capita
• Active life options per capita (parks, outdoor activities, etc.)
• Arts and Entertainment per capita (movie theaters, festivals, galleries, etc.)
• Fast Food restaurants per capita (the fewer the more exciting)
• Percentage of restaurants that are not fast food (the higher the more exciting)
• Percentage of young residents ages 18 to 34 (the higher the more exciting)
• Population density (the higher the more exciting)

We then ranked each location in each category and averaged each place’s scores into one Big Deal Score. The higher the place’s score was, the more boring it was. Ann Arbor, for example, had a score of eight, where Norton Shores came in with an impressive 44.43. By the way, when we say a place is boring, we don’t mean that it’s a bad place to live or that there’s anything wrong with the people that live there. In fact, it could be the best place in Michigan for those who love the quiet life and are looking for safety and relaxation. We’re just saying that these 10 places aren’t exciting. That said, let’s take a closer look at our 10.

1. Norton Shores

The Wikipedia entry for this city reads: “Norton Shores is a city in Muskegon County in the U.S. state of Michigan. The population was 23,994 at the 2010 census.” Yep, that about covers it. In fact, the only thing that Norton Shores scored well on in our analysis was its lack of fast food—but that may just be because it is lacking most everything. It had the least amount of nightlife options per capita, the least non-fast food restaurants per capita, and had the fewest active life options of anywhere in the state. If it looks like it did slightly better for its number of music venues per capita, it didn’t; it just tied for last with about 20 other places.

2. Southgate

The most exciting things about Southgate can be summed up in two points: 1) the Splash Park/Downriver YMCA, and 2) the Michigan headquarters for Sonic Drive-Ins. That being said, it may come as no surprise that Southgate earned a bunch of points (in our analysis and probably with Weight Watchers), for its high number of fast food restaurants. Not only that, but it also ranked 55th for its lack of other types of restaurant, and didn’t exactly wow anyone with its plethora of active life options (it ranked 34th here). So let’s sum up: A lack of non-fast food restaurants plus a huge amount of fast food restaurants plus a lack of active life options equals?

3. Roseville

How could a city with such a nice name be so boring? Here’s how: This city ranked 52nd for the restaurant category, meaning that out of 56 places, Roseville had more restaurant options per capita than only four other places. It ranked 46th for its number of fast food restaurants (meaning that it has a lot of fast food), 46th for its active life options, and 46th, again, for a serious lack of arts & entertainment.

4. Romulus

The old Roman story of Romulus and Remus is an absolutely fascinating tale of love, lust, murder, and miracles. This city doesn’t share any of the excitement of its namesake, unless of course you lust after fast food. Romulus ranked 49th in the fast food category, 51st for both its lack of art and non-fast food restaurants, and worst of all, it was the least densely populated place in Michigan. So even if you want to just go for a stroll, chances are, you won’t run into anyone…and you’ll probably just freeze while you’re out.

5. Southfield

I’m sure this Detroit suburb is an absolutely lovely place; it’s just less exciting than some of the other places in the state, especially if you’re young or like food. For example, Southfield ranked 47th in both nightlife and young population. Worse still, it ranked 48th for its high number of fast food restaurants per capita and 48th for its lack of non-fast food restaurants. So… hopefully you like fast food.

6. Oak Park

Oak Park certainly can’t  claim to have bustling nightlife (it ranked 54th here), a plethora of active life options (53rd here), or the temptations of delicious cuisine (42nd). In fact, the only category where Oak Park didn’t have a high score was for its population density. With 5,677 people per square mile, where many places like Romulus only have 700 or so, Oak Park was simply crawling with people. Bored, bored people.

6. Warren

This city may be something of a business hub, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s exciting for residents. In fact, it seems as though business is the only thing buzzing here. In our analysis, Warren ranked No. 46 for its lack of restaurants, 47th for its lack of active life options, and most boring of all, 50th for next to no art listings per capita. Of course, it didn’t rank particularly well in any of the other categories either, if that’s what you were wondering. It just ranked even worse in these three.

8. Taylor

Taylor, aka “Taylortucky,” seems like it should be exciting. It has a ton of shopping, the Taylor Sportsplex, a beautiful and expansive park, and even a giant window factory. This place should be a barrell of thrills, right? Well, according to our analysis, these things might really be all Taylor has going on, because when it came to nightlife, arts, restaurants, and particularly, active life listings per capita, Taylor didn’t have many options. Okay, at least there’s a Culver’s.

9. Inkster

This city may have a slight reputation for its high crime rate, but maybe that’s just because there’s else to do here. Out of all the places we looked at, it had the smallest number of arts listings per capita, the second least in active life, and it ranked 50th out of 56 for its nightlife, which includes such establishments as Bogart’s Lounge and Flight Club.

10. Lincoln Park

When your city’s biggest claim to fame is the fact that, during the 1960s, it was home to the members of a long-forgotten rock group MC5, you know you’re in trouble. To be fair, this city was actually quite densely-populated, with 6,478 people per square mile, so you’re bound to run into somebody you know. But if everybody is just as bored as you are, what’s the point? I mean, you can’t very well keep yourselves entertained by staying active (it ranked 49th for a lack of active life listings), checking out the local arts (47th in this category), or even grabbing a good meal (43rd).

What’s Missing In Michigan

Aside from mild falls, bearable winters, or any kind of spring season at all, what seems to be missing in Michigan really boils down to one thing: excitement. At least in these 10 places. Of course, not all of Michigan’s cities and towns are quite as dull as Norton Shores here; in fact, some places like Ann Arbor are positively thrilling (comparatively speaking). For a look at the top 50 most boring places in the state, just check out the table below. Featured Image: Flickr user Garry Knight