1. Yes, We Like Seasons, Too. But Only The Good Ones.
What’s that? Don’t we miss the colors of fall? What about snow days? Maybe, but the fact that the sun is shining and it’s 80 degrees of awesome outside kind of helps to ease the pain.
2. “I’ll Be There In 25 Minutes… Depending on Traffic”
Yes, my ability to arrive on time is dependent on traffic. In Los Angeles, the existence of traffic is pretty much a given. If I were to head out on the freeway at any given time and not see at least a hundred cars in my immediate vicinity, I’d probably call 9-1-1.
3. Sigalert Has More Followers Than Justin Bieber’s Twitter
And speaking of traffic… In Los Angeles, it’s just not safe to leave your home before checking the Sigalert. This incredible website is God’s gift to commuters, locals and just about everyone in general. It is your best bet at circumventing the most evil of freeway plots in order to safely and swiftly arrive at your destination.
4. Mexican Food? Oh, Here We Just Call It “Food”
Mexican Food isn’t simply an option in Los Angeles--it’s a way of life. From fast food joints and seedy diners to 2 A.M. taco truck runs and themed restaurants, an enchilada and some refried beans are never hard to find.
5. Rain Is, In Fact, A Well-Known Sign Of The Apocalypse
Rain is just plain bad. It will quickly turn puddles into flash floods and a 45-minute commute into 2 hours of hellish defensive driving in a live war zone. We just don’t do the rain down here. A light drizzle is one thing, but anything more than that can be a serious hazard. It is as unwelcome as it is unnatural.
6. In-N-Out Burger Is Less Of A Restaurant And More Like A Place Of Worship
If you have never experienced the joy of a perfectly crafted #2 burger done “animal-style” with french fries and a thick vanilla milkshake, then you have not lived.
7. You Tweet About Impending Earthquakes Any Time Something Shakes
Okay, so maybe that rumbling was just a semi going down a crowded side-street, but you should probably update your Facebook status, send out a tweet and text everyone in your contacts to make sure…
8. Stop Signs Actually Mean “Yield If You Feel Like It”
Stop signs work a little differently in this part of the country. See, the stopping part is more of a suggestion. It is perfectly acceptable to perform a “rolling stop” or briefly pause before proceeding.
If you ask, we’ll probably deny it, but the California Stop is a well-documented and magical part of Los Angeles life.
9. L.A. Is Juice Cleanse City
Since back in the days of the 48-Hour Hollywood Miracle Diet, juice cleanses have been a big part of the L.A. culture. Chances are, you’ve probably gone on a juice cleanse in the last year, and you spent every day of it telling all your co-workers the innumerable benefits.
10. Wait, Which Workout Are We Doing Today?
Los Angeles is known for launching a lot of trends in food, fashion and film. But most of us know that there’s no rhyme or reason when it comes to the workout trends that sweep through our city. Aerial yoga, cross fit on steroids, workouts designed for a ballet bar or stripper pole--we’ve got it all.
11. KCRW Vs. KPCC
Do not even MENTION 106.7 to me. Seriously. Don’t.
12. Saving The World And Supporting The Community At The Farmer’s Market
We love our farmer’s markets. Not only do you get to pay way too much for an organic apple the size of a walnut, but you get to support local farmers and save the community by doing it. Right?
13. Your True Colors Are Revealed When Parking
Parking is serious matter in L.A. It causes normally sane people to scream at their windshield, speed through the parking lot and leave nasty notes for people who can’t park inside the lines. I suspect that a good number of head-on collisions are caused by people desperately racing towards the same parking space.
14. Avocados Are A California Staple
If you live in Los Angeles and you don’t have at least one avocado hidden in your kitchen then you’re probably deathly allergic to avocados. Because, really, is there any other excuse NOT to have the most beloved produce item in all of California available to you at all times?
15. L.A. Has The Most Wonderful Christmas Spectacular
Even if you spent every childhood Christmas enjoying homemade hot chocolate and roast beast next to a real log fire in some cabin surrounded by piles of snow, you’ll realize that The Grove does it better. Christmas at The Grove is so full of chic Holiday spirit that you’ll be puking candy canes within five minutes of arrival.
