1. The Tastiest Way To Recycle A Newspaper
We may not have invented the practice of reusing materials to prevent pollution and waste and all that stuff—but we did find the most delicious way to do so. Newspapers have a higher purpose here than environmental sustainability. They are saved for late March to about early May, when it’s not just springtime—it’s also crawfish season. And we need the newspapers to line the tables at crawfish boils. Can you think of a better use? Nope. Didn’t think so.
2. Taking Hooch To-Go
Drinking on the go in public, outside of bars and restaurants, is legal and folks here exercise their rights to the fullest. Drinking and driving isn’t legal anywhere in the U.S. and
Louisiana is no exception, except we clever Cajuns have found a way around that: We have drive-through daiquiris—it’s like fast food for boozers—you can drive up to the window, order your concoction, and poof! It’s magic.
Technically you can’t insert the straw into the container—that’s what separates it from law-abiding to law-breaking. But ya know, technicalities, schmecnicalities.
3. North, South, East, West? Never Heard of ‘Em
Louisianans march to the beat of our own drum, particularly when it comes to giving directions. Distance is measured in blocks, not in yards or miles—or sometimes it’s in terms of the bordering bodies of water—the lake or the river. To get to the corner store you go eight blocks and it’s on the river side. There, that wasn’t so hard to follow, was it?
We also use Upriver and Downriver too. Look, you don’t want us to give you cardinal directions because we don’t really have that mastered yet. For example, in New Orleans, the Westbank (yes, all one word) is actually situated south of the bank, and because of the windy nature of the river down in this part of the country, it technically is east of the river (not west). See? Simple.
4. Bleeding Gold And Purple, But Praying To The Saints
In Louisiana we follow many college sports teams, but through our main arteries flows purple and gold blood, for the Louisiana State University Tigers.
LSU has 21 varsity sports and is a member of the NCAA and the Southeastern Conference. The Tigers have won a whopping 46 team national championships, 42 of which were recognized by the NCAA. And they are in sixth place for winning the most national championships. Ever. In fact, the Tiger Stadium, where the LSU home games are played, is affectionately nicknamed “Death Valley,” for the eardrum-splitting noise generated by loyal Tiger fans.
We may have some of that purple and gold running through our veins but we also pay homage to a higher deity: The Saints. And how many Hail Marys do we say for our boys in black and gold? Nine, of course!
5. Hole-y Streets That Make Driving Hell
You won’t be seeing any lowriders in Louisiana. That’s because the cars (and tires) here have to be equipped to navigate the crater-sized potholes that line many of Louisiana’s streets. If you live here long enough, you will experience at least one blowout due to a pothole. They are so pervasive that one news station instituted a “Pothole of the Day” story where they legitimately feature a new pothole around town.
Every day. That’s how many potholes there are.
Geography is partly to blame. A good portion of the southern region is below sea level. But there’s more to it than just elevation. The city infrastructure is old as dirt and doesn’t always rank high up on the list of things to do for city officials.
6. How To Cook A Meal So Good, You’ll Wanna Slap Your Mama
It’s no secret that Louisiana is home to some of the most innovative cuisine and delectable dishes. From Creole and Cajun (and yes, there is a difference!) to Louisiana Contemporary and everything in between, this place is the melting pot of delicious food. The culinary creations draw influence from most notably French and Spanish cuisine, but also from German, Native American, Italian, Portuguese, and African heritage as well. From shrimp remoulade and gumbo to red beans and rice, Louisianans do it right.
But their love of food extends well beyond those classic dishes for which we are so well known. We also do the regular stuff better than anywhere else, too. Louisianans revere food —we think about it in their waking hours and our dreaming ones too, and we’re are always coming up with new and better ways to create age-old staples. Louisiana cookin’—
c’est si bon!
7. How To Spin A Yarn Like No One Else
Part of the Louisiana storytelling ingénue comes from our Cajun, Creole, and African heritage. That’s how we preserved our culture back in the day—our important stories that we wanted passed down to our children and grandchildren.
But it’s also how we whiled away the time—making a humid, swampy summer pass more quickly. And no better setting for storytelling than the porch. It started a long time ago, before mainstream air-conditioning, when it was actually cooler to be outside than indoors.
The tradition still exists today. People will gather on their front and back porches in the dead heat of summer and talk and laugh (and drink and eat) for hours on end. Don’t mind the heat,
cher, it’s just a little sweat.
8. That There’s Always A Reason To Get Your Parade On
In Louisiana folks parade for life and death, and everything in between. Our most well-known parading event, Mardi Gras, happens every year before Ash Wednesday. But we also have second lines for funerals.
Ever heard the phrase “I’ll dance at your funeral”? In Louisiana, we like to celebrate the life that was lived rather than mourn the life that was lost.
We second line for weddings, school events, fundraisers, other holidays like Easter and St. Patrick’s Day… We second line for voodoo ceremonies, music festivals, political activism…Look, you want to parade around? We won’t stop you. Just set the date and we will be there, umbrella in hand.
9. That The Best Day Of The Week To Party Is… Every Day
In Louisiana we know how to throw a party and music rules our lives. We have parties for hurricanes (and even named a drink after them), we have parties for sporting events (we practically invented tailgating) and we even have parties for parties!
Ever been part of a traditional Southern wedding? Those people will have sometimes two or three wedding engagement parties, all leading up to a wedding shower or two (complete with amazing food and endless booze). And that’s just for starters.
We also have so many festivals in Louisiana that one could be held every day of the year and we wouldn’t run out. There are crawfish festivals, crab festivals, tomato festivals, oyster festivals, pork festivals, Italian food fests, Greek food fests, French food fests, a barbecue fest…And that’s just a sampling of the food fests. We also have beer and spirits fests and music fests galore, as well as endless arts and crafts and cultural heritage fests. As we like to say,
laissez les bons temps roulez everyday!
10. There Is No Such Thing As Quit
Over the years, Louisianans have developed a hardened spirit in the face of diversity. We have been hit with hurricanes. We’ve been covered in oil spills. We’ve have been burned by wildfires. We face relentless heat and humidity, torrential downpours and epic hailstorms. Our crime rates are some of the worst and we are plagued by an endless retinue of corrupt politicians. But we persevere through all the adversity. In fact, we are strengthened by it.
After Hurricane Katrina, we didn’t just pick up and leave when most people told us we were stupid for living in a town below sea level. We don’t quit, don’t know how! We just roll up our sleeves, grab another beer and get to work.
