15 Signs You’ve Lived In Iowa Too Long

1. You’ve Made A Trip To Des Moines Just To Try A Zombie Burger

And it was totally worth it. These massive burgers with creative toppings totally live up to their reputation.

2. Some Of Your Friendships Have Been Torn Apart By The Iowa-Iowa Rivalry

The Iowa State Cyclones VS University Of Iowa Hawkeyes rivalry rages on. But just like siblings, Iowa residents, no matter their team, eventually make up.

3. You’re So Nice That Even Nice People Think You’re Too Nice

Iowa nice is a whole different kind of nice. It’s not just smiling and greeting strangers on the street. It’s so genuine that you’d stop whatever you were doing to help that stranger change a tire.

4. You Are The Ultimate Corn Maze Master

Iowans have so much corn that they have to find creative uses for it. The result: some seriously awesome corn mazes.

5. And You Know A Billion Different Ways To Prepare Corn

Like the scene from “Forest Gump” where Bubba recites the dozens of ways one can make shrimp, you can tell anyone at least as many ways to make corn.

6. Eating Scotcheroo Makes You Totally Nostalgic

If your mom did not make this classic Iowa dessert food as a child, you totally missed out. It’s almost impossible not to eat the whole pan.

7. You Wouldn’t Dream Of Missing The Iowa State Fair

Because where else could you see butter sculptures, eat deep fried butter, and ride the Sky Glider all in one day?

8. You’ve Eaten Deep-Fried Versions Of All Of Your Favorite Foods

Delicious deep fried foods aren’t just available at the state fair. From the usual suspects like chicken to the more daring Snickers bar, the people of Iowa know how to deep-fry it.

9. You Know The Best Food Comes Straight From The Source

The Iowa stereotype that everyone is a farmer isn’t quite true… but it’s accurate enough. The best food comes straight from the farmers themselves. Visiting the farmers market or buying straight from the farm is how you get all the best local produce, meat, and dairy.

10. You’re Totally Used To Being Pandered To By Politicians

With the Iowa Caucuses, Iowans are used to having quite a bit of control over presidential elections, and candidates know it. Half their campaign schedule is dedicated to kissing Iowan babies.

11. Everyone You Know Is Working On A Novel

The Iowa Writers’ Workshop at the University of Iowa is known as the best creative writing program in the nation. The aspiring writers of Iowa have a lot to live up to.

12. Every Other Day Is A Snow Day In The Winter

Iowans live for snow days even though they get a lot of them. Winter basically means a lot of four-day weeks.

13. The Most Dangerous Thing About Driving Is Deer

If you’re driving at night, it’s not the other cars you worry about—it’s a deer running into the street in front of your car. Nothing messes up a car like hitting a deer.

14. You Watch Storms From Your Porch That Would Send Most Running Scared

Iowans aren’t scared of a little thunder or lightning. In fact, they like to enjoy the show. If you have a porch, you mostly use it to sit on during storms.

15. Family Vacations To Adventureland Were The Best Thing Ever

Riding Adventureland theme park’s wooden roller coasters was totally worth getting sick from eating all that cotton candy on the car ride home. Did we miss anything? Tell us how you know you’ve been in Iowa too long in the comments below!