30 Things That People From Florida Love

1. Turning Slowly Into Saggy Bags Of Inelastic Wrinkled Flesh

OK, so maybe it's the sun that folks in The Sunshine State really love. But it can certainly take its toll, and it's never hard to spot a long-term Floridian with a distaste for sunscreen. Next time you're at Clearwater Beach, why don't you be nice and grease her up?

2. Pointing And Laughing At The Rest Of The Country All Winter Long

Yeah, it's kind of funny that civilization as you know it has come to a halt on account of some strange white powdery stuff that fell from the sky. And so cute how the tips of your ears and nose are so red.

3. A Sopping Good Time

There may not be a whole lot of cold to contend with, but the heat admittedly gets a bit, well, hot in this southernmost of the 48 contiguous states. Fortunately, there are water parks a-plenty--like Wet 'n Wild in Orlando, Adventure Island in Tampa, and Disney's Typhoon Lagoon in Lake Buena Vista--for cooling off and having a blast.

4. Big Gray Floating Balls Of Blubber

What manatees (aka sea cows) lack in speed, style, and sex appeal, they make up for in gentility, charm and sheer adorableness. These marine mammals are endangered, and Save the Manatee efforts are near and dear to Floridian hearts. You can even swim with them in Crystal River with River Ventures.

5. Tacky-Ass Mailboxes

And it's not just all the manatee love that's gone too far. Houses in Florida--especially in coastal areas--are fronted by all sorts of ridiculous letter receptacles... seahorse mailboxes, gator mailboxes, flamingo mailboxes.

6. The Siren Call Of The Sand And Sea

No matter where you are in Florida, you never have to drive more than about an hour and a half to get to the beach. Usually it's much closer, though. When it's that easy, and when it's practically summer year-round, why wouldn't you beachbum away as much time as possible?

7. Screeching To A Halt Whenever They See A "Free Vacuum" Sign

No sign is as welcome a beacon as "Free Vacuums" on a car wash billboard the day after a trip to the beach. Somehow, half the sand on the coast always winds up on the car floors and in the trunk.

8. The Gentle Breeze Rustling Through Their Toe Hairs

Beach time? Running errands? Going to school or work? Wedding? Funeral? Whatever. Flip flops are footwear for all occasions.

9. Cars, Cars, Cars... And Did We Mention, Cars?

Public transportation? Pedestrian-friendly? Two foreign concepts throughout Florida, where most major development came well after everyone owned their own rides. People here love their cars and have a hard time even processing the notion of going without.

10. Floridians Love The Sound "VROOOOOOOOOOOOOM"

Most places have speed limits. Florida has speed suggestions. They are not taken. Why else would all the roads have 17 lanes, if not for weaving through traffic at breakneck speeds?

11. Avoiding West Nile Virus Like The Plague

Thanks to the climate and the fact that Florida is one big pool of standing water, there are a lot of mosquitoes, like, a lot. Natives really like bug repellant. And there's no greater victory in the course of a day than landing an open-palmed death blow on one of the little suckers right when it's about to eat.

12. Drooling Over Hot, Steamy Dreams... Of NYC Food

This state is home to so many Northeastern transplants who invariably miss the food they just can't get here. No matter what the storefront signs claim in Florida, a real Jewish deli, bagel, slice of NY pizza, greasy Chinese take-out joint... all only memories now. Don't miss Ben's Kosher Deli when you're in the Boca Raton area.

13. Basements... In Theory

Yes, Floridians are envious of a simple room most people take for granted. Imagine all that extra storage space or a place to stash guests, hide from the family or bury bodies. Because Florida sits at sea level, there's lots of water not too far down and it's usually not practical to dig deep enough for a basement.

14. The Cover Of Darkness

The state's humid subtropical climate encourages a somewhat vampiric lifestyle. For much of the year, it's not too pleasant going out while the sun's beating down. For Floridians, it's all about the nightlife, emerging from the air conditioning only after sundown, when the temperature and humidity drop.

15. Florida's Version Of First Responders

Cops and firefighters and EMTs and bomb squadders are great, but the A/C repair guy is a hero here. Inhabitants love a heavy-duty air conditioning unit like a member of the family. When its cold caress goes tepid, it's an emergency.

16. Two Words: Cuban Sandwich

Cigars aren't the only delicious things emigrating Cubans brought for Floridians to get addicted to. Cuban sandwiches--variations on ham and cheese--are ubiquitous and loved by all (I'm in a cold sweat just thinking of one now). For the best of the best, grab a sandwich at Gaspar's Grotto in Tampa.

17. Fantastical Escapes (At A Discount)

Floridians may resent the seething masses of tourists all over the place, but having some of the world's leading tourist attractions--like Universal Studios, SeaWorld, and Disney World, of course--right in your backyard is pretty damn awesome. Especially when most offer resident discounts to locals.

18. Serenity On The Trail Or Amongst The Mangroves

It's not all beach, all the time in Florida. The state's covered with shady trails for hiking and calm waters for kayaking. Mangroves, cypress trees, Spanish moss dangling from ancient oaks, and tall, slender wading birds standing perfectly still always help set a calming mood. Take in the sights and sounds with a Everglades National Park Boat Tour.

19. Some Dude Named Al Fresco

Somehow, food just tastes better in the open air. Fortunately, the weather generally permits this sort of indulgence year-round. Whether it's along city streets, beside a lake, or at the shore, the sights and sounds always add ambiance (to your Cuban sandwich). Soak in the views at Red Fish Grill in Coral Gables, Ember in Orlando, and Cesare's in Clearwater.

20. Heat Lamps In The "Winter"

Floridians brag about their weather and laugh at the trials and tribulations others face during winter. But they're a bunch of wimps when it comes to the cold. Temperatures dip down into the 60s? Brrr... bundle up and crank up the heat lamps, please. Let nothing stand in the way of dining al fresco.

21. Not Getting Struck By Lightening

Folks here fear the wrath of Zeus. Florida is the lightning capital of the country, with more ground strikes, more people getting struck, and more people getting killed than anywhere else domestically. Clearwater has the distinction of most dangerous U.S. city for lightning strikes. Erect more lightning rods!

22. Hitting The Links, On The Daily

Not to invite jokes about being overrun with retirees, but Floridians really like golf. The state has over 1,300 golf courses, a number of which are famous nationally and internationally, like PGA National Resort in West Palm Beach, Doral Golf Resort and Spa in Miami, and World Golf Village, St. Augustine.

23. Young Men In Tights And Shoulder Pads

Who needs the NFL when you've got the University of Florida Gators, the University of Miami Hurricanes, and the Florida State University Seminoles? All Floridians have one state team to which they're fiercely loyal. Sometimes it even seems like half the studens here pick the place to seek a higher education based solely on their favorite team.

24. Saying It Twice 'Cause It Tastes So Nice

Mahi mahi is as ubiquitous on Florida menus as side salads or french fries. Straight out of the surrounding waters, this fish is a favorite dish, especially grilled or blackened. The abundance of super-fresh, local seafood is undeniably the greatest aspect of Florida food culture. Don't miss the delectable seafood at Sunset Waterfront Cafe & Bar in Cocoa Beach, Rustic Inn Crabhouse in Fort Lauderdale and Oscar's Old Florida Grill in St. Augustine.

25. Keeping The Nation On Its Toes, Every Four Years

They may have hung their heads in shame with all that hanging chad nonsense, but residents know they're crucial to national elections. As of 2012, Florida tied with New York for third-most electoral votes (29), making it the most influential swing state. It's been insanely close between blue and red here lately.

26. Firing Cannons At Pirates And Yankees

Philadelphia and Boston get lots of attention for their roles in our country's origin story, but Florida's St. Augustine, founded in 1565, is the oldest European settlement in North America. The Castillo de San Marcos, dating back to 1672, is the oldest fort in the country. It was built to defend the Spanish settlement against the English and dastardly pirates.

27. The Look On Soaking Wet Tourists' Faces During Summer Monsoons

Welcome to the Sunshine State, where it pours down buckets of rain for a few hours every afternoon in the summer. Locals plan their days around it, but many first-time visitors get caught unaware by this quirk of the climate.

28. The Harmonious Sounds of Reptiles Singing "Kumbaya"

There's only one spot on the planet where alligators and crocodiles live together (excluding zoos, smartypants): The Florida Everglades. This two million-acre complex tapestry of ecosystems is a natural wonder, a National Park, and the pride of the state. Put an airboat ride through the Everglades from Everglades Tours on your bucket list!

29. Deluding Themselves While Indulging

Frozen yogurt shops are the Starbucks of Florida... there's one or two on every corner. But hey, it's yogurt, not ice cream, right? A healthy, guilt-free way to cool down. Ahem.

30. The "Florida Man" Twitter Account

There's no limit to the utterly bizarre, crazy, mind-boggling things Floridians do to make local, state, and national headlines. At least Floridians can laugh at themselves along with everyone else. Keep up with it all Floridian shenanigans on @floridaman, the Twitter account dedicated to sharing news headlines that begin with those ominous two words, "Florida Man..."

Feature image source: Flickr user Jonathan Piccolo