1. Cow
What it means everywhere else: A farm animal and/or a burger in the making.
What it means in Des Moines: The most magnificent butter sculpture ever at the Iowa State Fair.
2. Ashton Kutcher
What it means everywhere else: That guy from Punk’d who was sort of an actor and isn’t super relevant now.
What it means in Des Moines: The most famous person you ever have the chance of bumping into in your city.
3. Crab Rangoon
What it means everywhere else: Deep fried crab dumplings in wonton wrappers, usually served as an appetizer.
What it means in Des Moines: A wonderfully weird pizza topping at Fong’s.
4. A Dong
What it means everywhere else: Something that might have made you giggle in high school.
What it means in Des Moines: A Dong Restaurant, the place that serves the best Vietnamese food in the city.
5. Energy
What it means everywhere else: That feeling you have after a full night of sleep or a whole lot of coffee.
What it means in Des Moines: Your city’s NBA Development League basketball team, the Iowa Energy.
6. Exile
What it means everywhere else: To be expelled and banned from your country or home.
What it means in Des Moines: Exile Brewing Company—where you go to sip on a great local beer and relax.
7. Bacon
What it means everywhere else: The best food in the entire world.
What it means in Des Moines: The best food in the entire world that you love so much you literally celebrate it at a festival called Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival.
8. 80/35
What it means everywhere else: A fraction of eighty over thirty-five.
What it means in Des Moines: The best music festival in the country where you go to dance all night to The Roots or wallow to Modest Mouse.
9. Buccaneers
What it means everywhere else: 17th century pirates.
What it means in Des Moines: The best hockey team ever, and the one sports team everyone in Des Moines can agree to get behind.
10. Zombie
What it means everywhere else: An animated corpse that you sometimes have nightmares about after watching too much of “The Walking Dead” before bed.
What it means in Des Moines: The most delicious and amazing burger in town.
11. The Letter “S”
What it means everywhere else: The letter that makes the snake-like hiss sound when it’s in a word.
What it means in Des Moines: That letter you don’t pronounce when you tell people where you’re from—“Da Moine.”
12. Bipartisanship
What it means everywhere else: When the Democrats and Republicans can get along for long enough to actually accomplish something.
What it means in Des Moines: When a Hawks fan and a Cyclones fan can eat dinner together on Iowa vs. Iowa game day without fighting.
13. Flood
What it means everywhere else: When water overflows onto dry land.
What it means in Des Moines: “1993…oh, 1993.”
14. Adventureland
What it means everywhere else: The 2009 comedy starring Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen Stewart.
What it means in Des Moines: The amusement park you begged your parents to take you to on every family vacation.
15. Slipknot
What it means everywhere else: That terrible band you liked in your eighth grade baby-Goth phase.
What it means in Des Moines: That terrible band that formed in your city and that causes you a very personal shameful feeling when mentioned.
16. Sleepy Hollow
What it means everywhere else: A scary story by Washington Irving about a headless horseman who haunts a quiet town or the TV adaptation of the same name.
What it means in Des Moines: An awesome sports park that has the best hills for sledding or snowboarding in the winter.
17. Pappajohn
What it means everywhere else: Isn’t that the pizza place?
What it means in Des Moines: An incredible sculpture park in downtown Des Moines where you’ve taken at least seven selfies.
18. Trick or Treat
What it means everywhere else: When children go door-to-door asking for candy on Halloween.
What it means in Des Moines: What’s Trick or Treat? Don’t you mean Beggars Night?
19. Floppy
What it means everywhere else: An outdated disk drive, or something that hangs loosely and moves around.
What it means in Des Moines: “The Floppy Show”—that public access children’s show your parents nostalgically talk about all the time.
20. Funny Bone
What it means everywhere else: That place on your arm you try to avoid hitting so your hand doesn’t go numb.
What it means in Des Moines: Something much funnier than the funny bone in your arm—a comedy club and restaurant.
21. Jokers
What it means everywhere else: People who don’t take life very seriously, or who are often humorous.
What it means in Des Moines: An absolutely wild dance club where you can barely hear yourself think (but that’s okay, because no one really goes there to think).
22. Django
What it means everywhere else: The protagonist of the Quentin Tarantino movie “Django Unchained.”
What it means in Des Moines: A quaint French restaurant you go to on fancy dates.
23. Juice
What it means everywhere else: A drink made by squeezing fruits and sometimes vegetables.
What it means in Des Moines: A local magazine aimed at cool twenty-something Des Moines residents.
24. Dwolla
What it means everywhere else: Um… what’s a Dwolla?
What it means in Des Moines: A mobile payment system that functions as an alternative to credit cards and is extremely popular (and only popular) in Des Moines.
25. Red
What it means everywhere else: One of the primary colors.
What it means in Des Moines: The color the now (sadly) defunct weather beacon used to shine when warmer weather was ahead.
Did we miss anything? Share words that mean something completely different in Des Moines in the comments below!
