1. Dallasites Go Big Or Go Home With Just About Everything
They say everything is bigger in Texas, and Dallas is no exception. From their St. Paddy’s Day parade to the biggest gay church in the country, Dallasites give new meaning to the phrase “Go big or go home.”
Even the Traveling Man is huge. He’s like 38 feet tall.
The hair thing pretty much died, though. Praise the Lord.
2. And They're Brassy And Loud And Proud Of It
Do you have opinions? Are you not afraid to share them? Then you might just fit in perfectly in Dallas, where everyone has an opinion and nobody gives a rat’s behind what you think about it. Dallasites aren’t afraid to be bold, and out-of-towners can be a little taken aback by how forward residents of this city can actually be.
Polite, yes, but very straightforward. This ain’t a city for the thinly-skinned among us.
3. Dallasites Really Will Put BBQ Sauce On Anything
And they all have a smoker in their backyard for whatever hunk of meat they plan to put it on. Dallasites all have a raging hankerin’ for BBQ all year long.
People treat it like it’s ranch dressing around here. You could walk down any street and see at least three different BBQ cookouts going on at any given moment. They like it on their chicken, on their steak and even on their meatloaf.
It’s a Texas BBQ bonanza in Dallas and don’t even think about mentioning that Carolina sauce. It simply doesn’t measure up in the hearts of Dallasites.
4. People From Dallas Don’t Take Kindly To Folks From Austin
“Keep Austin Weird.” They can keep Austin dirty, they can keep it congested with traffic, they can even keep it infested with ganja-loving hippies. Keep it whatever they want, really, as long they keep it the heck out of Dallas.
Let’s be honest, Dallasites are not exactly drowning in affectionate feelings for that special little city to the south. In fact, like most of Texas, they kind of wish it were in another state.
There’s just something not right about a city that prides itself on poop-shovel sculptures in their parks and touting itself as the weirdness capital of the world. Am I right?
5. The Men In Dallas Are All Urban Cowboys
When was the last time you saw a guy in a Stetson and cowboy boots sipping a café macchiato, while typing furiously away on his iPad? Well, if you live in Dallas, you might’ve seen it on your way to work this morning.
Whether gearing up for a rodeo in Fort Worth or stopping in the city for a night on the town, urban cowboys can be seen all throughout the city. Who says you can’t be an IT Tech by day and a cattle rancher by night?
6. And The Women Are A Bunch Of Good Christian Belles
You’ve read the book. You watched the (short-lived) TV show. You know they’re out there. That’s right, I’m talking about those Good Christian Belles. These Highland Park socialites will pray for your soul while insulting every aspect of your life all in one breath.
Kim Gatlin’s book “Good Christian B*tches,” based on a suburb of Dallas, reached the New York Time’s bestseller list back in 2010 and was subsequently made into an ill-received TV show last year. Thousands of Dallas women rushed to buy the book, just to make sure they wouldn’t see their names in it.
7. Everyone Drives A Truck Or Rides A Horse. Even The Cops.
Everybody in Dallas either owns a horse or a truck. That’s because everybody there secretly has dreams of owning a ranch. Blame it on the TV show.
Their desire for the country life is probably what causes all the frustration on the city roads. Dallas was cited as being the 2nd-worst city for traffic accidents in 2013. None of that road rage would be a problem if everyone could ride a horse to work. Just sayin’.
8. The $30K Millionaires Are Desperate To Impress The Women That Are Out Of Their League
Image can be everything in Dallas, and many of the men there like to show off their stuff by throwing around large gobs of money. Even if they don’t actually have any. Young cowbros decked out in Armani suits and Gucci shoes come out in droves at night after a hard day of flipping burgers to try and bag unsuspecting women.
Don’t let the Ferrari fool you, ladies; he can only afford it because he’s living rent-free in his mother’s basement.
9. Everyone In Dallas Owns A Gun, And You Ain’t Taking ‘Em Away
Do you remember who shot J.R.? No? That’s because, really, it could’ve been anybody in this Texas town.
Just kidding, they don’t actually use them to shoot other people. Mostly just for target practice and hunting. Just like the self-sufficient conservatives that they’re proud to be.
Okay, not everyone in this city is actually Republican. But it certainly ain’t no Boston, either. Dallasites are big on traditional values and embrace the hard-working, rough-and-tough mentality that made this nation great. That’s probably why it’s become such a corporate juggernaut in recent years.
But whatever you do, don’t ever try to take a Dallasite’s gun.
10. Dallasites’ Church Clothes Are All Silver And Blue
The Dallas Cowboys have been showing the world how to win since 1960. They hold the record in the NFL for the most consecutive winning seasons (20, for your information) and are tied with one other team for the most Super Bowl appearances.
So it’s no wonder that every Sunday the streets of this city seem to turn silver and blue as Cowboys fans come out in droves to show their support.
Dallasites are diehard fans and aren’t afraid to spend to show their devotion. Don’t believe me? Forbes recently declared that the Cowboys were the second highest valued sports franchise in the entire world. In. The. World.
But, let’s be honest, the Cowboys are nothing without their cheerleaders. They’re half the reason people show up to the games in the first place. 
