1. Football
What it means everywhere else: A sport where a bunch of people wear a bunch of padding and try to get a ball to the opposite end of the field.
What it means in Columbus: Something you are either naturally passionate about or something you eventually become passionate about when the Ohio State Buckeyes kick a ton of butt every year.
2. Buckeyes
What it means everywhere else: Brown and tan poisonous nuts.
What it means in Columbus: The team you’re cheering on in the championship game or the delicious peanut butter and chocolate snack you’re munching on between cheers.
3. State Fair
What it means everywhere else: Livestock, rides, fireworks, and fried food.
What it means in Columbus: That place where you totally rocked out to a free Pat Benatar concert after stuffing your face with elephant ears.
4. Jeni
What it means everywhere else: The name of someone you knew in high school.
What it means in Columbus: Jeni’s aka the place you would wait in a forty minute long line just for a couple scoops of salty caramel ice cream (but not before trying a dozen of their other weird and wonderful flavors).
5. Knights
What it means everywhere else: People who have done battle as a mounted soldier in armor, have earned an honorary title, or play a lot of D&D.
What it means in Columbus: Knight’s Ice Cream, the only other ice cream shop in town that may be able to do battle with Jeni’s and a have a fighting chance.
6. Bad Movie
What it means everywhere else: Something you really try to avoid watching.
What it means in Columbus: Something you seek out at Studio 35’s hilariously terrible Bad Movie Night.
7. Michigan
What it means everywhere else: A state in the U.S.
What it means in Columbus: That state you never mention without at least one expletive in the sentence or a quite a few expletives if it’s a song about the whole state of Michigan.
8. Bookstore
What it means everywhere else: A store that sells books (and sometimes not so great coffee).
What it means in Columbus: A magical place in German Village with thirty-two glorious rooms of super cheap books called The Book Loft (also, where you want to be buried).
9. Guinea Pig
What it means everywhere else: A small furry animal you can keep as a pet or a colloquial term for a test subject.
What it means in Columbus: What everyone in Columbus is, since major companies test all of their new ideas in Columbus first.
10. German Village
What it means everywhere else: A small village in Germany.
What it means in Columbus: A gorgeous, upscale historic district where you walk around pointing at ritzy houses (or if you’re super lucky, live in one).
11. COSI
What it means everywhere else: A chain specializing in flatbread sandwiches, similar to a Panera.
What it means in Columbus: The science museum that totally blew your mind as a kid (and honestly still totally blows your mind as an adult).
12. Deli
What it means everywhere else: A store that sells meat, cheese, and sandwiches.
What it means in Columbus: A giant Katzinger’s sandwich and the best pickles you ever tasted.
13. Jackets
What it means everywhere else: Articles of clothing that are lighter than coats but worn when it gets a little chilly.
What it means in Columbus: Blue Jackets hockey games, which consist of watching your home team play most intense blood sport of all time and often of being disappointed.
14. C-Bus
What it means everywhere else: Some specific bus line called “the C” or something.
What it means in Columbus: A nickname for the city of Columbus that’s trying really hard to be cool.
15. Market
What it means everywhere else: A place you go to buy food or household items, usually sold by many vendors.
What it means in Columbus: North Market, a magical place that most closely resembles a foodie’s utopian dream.
16. Cup O’ Joe
What it means everywhere else: A cup of coffee.
What it means in Columbus: The best small local chain of coffee shops ever where you can get everything from a plain black coffee to a decadent peanut butter mocha freeze.
17. Zoo
What it means everywhere else: A place where you go to see wild animals outside their natural habitat.
What it means in Columbus: The Columbus Zoo, which isn’t just one of the best in the nation, but also makes awkward family Christmases almost bearable because of the amazing the Christmas lights display.
18. July 4th
What it means everywhere else: Independence Day, which usually involves a cookout and some sort of local fireworks display.
What it means in Columbus: The time of year where you and a million other sweaty, excited people cram yourselves together for a prime view of the fireworks spectacular Red, White & BOOM! and celebrate America.
19. Oh Why Oh
What it means everywhere else: What you scream in agony after you stub your toe.
What it means in Columbus: The best vodka and whiskey in town (and quite possibly ever in the world), spelled OYO.
20. Pride
What it means everywhere else: Feeling satisfied with oneself.
What it means in Columbus: One of the best and most attended parades in the city.
21. Crew
What it means everywhere else: A group of people who operate a ship, or more colloquially, a group of people who just hang out together a lot.
What it means in Columbus: A soccer team so awesome that you’d never guess you were in the United States while watching them play.
22. James Thurber
What it means everywhere else: A celebrated American cartoonist, satirist, and writer.
What it means in Columbus: A celebrated American cartoonist, satirist, and writer who had a house in Columbus that still hosts awesome classes and literary events.
23. Suburbs
What it means everywhere else: Residential developments outside of major cities.
What it means in Columbus: Residential developments outside of the city, but that you and everyone who lives there still basically consider part of Columbus.
24. The Pearl
What it means everywhere else: A lustrous round gem that comes from an oyster.
What it means in Columbus: Where you take a date that you really want to impress for dinner.
25. Pet Cemetery
What it means everywhere else: Where the Ramones definitely don’t want to be buried.
What it means in Columbus: The Brown Pet Cemetery, which is totally weird and totally real.
26. Old-n-Tangy
What it means everywhere else: A kind of milk that you definitely wouldn’t want to drink.
What it means in Columbus: A nickname for the entirely pleasant Olentangy Trail where you can go hiking or biking in Columbus.
27. Surly Girl
What it means everywhere else: Lindsay Lohan in the terrible 2003 “Freaky Friday” remake.
What it means in Columbus: An awesome cowgirl pinup inspired saloon featuring live music, karaoke, and really great cupcakes.
What other words mean something completely different in Columbus? Tell us in the comments below! 
