1. Everyone In Chattanooga Would Rather Live Outside...
Maybe to make up for the fact that they drive everywhere when they actually need to get somewhere, Chattanoogans practically live in the great outdoors the rest of the time.
And I don’t just mean playing in their backyards or tanning. These people love disc golf, kayaking at Coolidge Park, fishing, boating, caving, camping, tubing, biking and any other outside activity they can think of. Safe to say about 90 percent of their free time is spent with the wind in their hair and breathing fresh air.
Maybe that’s why they’ll drive two blocks to the store. They’re exhausted.
2. ...And Everyone Has An Unhealthy Attachment To The River
They might be watching a band play underneath the Walnut Street Bridge, taking a dinner cruise down the river, watching fireworks along the river, or on the riverbank at the Riverbend Festival, but everyone in Chattanooga agrees that the best place for a good time or a party isn’t in some flashy, cramped nightclub or bar, but on the Tennessee River.
Of course, when they get bored of the river they might just go jump off a cliff, since…
3. Chattanoogans Think Risking Their Lives Is Fun
Chattanoogans are daredevils at heart. They have no fear when it comes to things like hang gliding, skydiving, white water rafting or scaling a cliff, because Chattanoogans like their fun (always outdoors, of course) with a side of danger to make it thrilling. The scarier the better.
4. Everyone In Chattanooga Is Jumping On The "Green" Bandwagon
Chattanoogans have come a long way when it comes to greening up their hometown. They’ve put in solar panels at Finley Stadium, installed LED street lights, made the Majestic Theater the first Gold LEED certified theater in the country, and the new VW plant is making waves with their sustainability practices.
They’ve even got an eco-friendly, economical public bike transit system going. Maybe that will start getting them to stop depending on cars so much. Maybe not.
5. Chattanoogans Can't Wait To Move Away—Until They Want To Come Back
It’s a Chattown insider’s joke, but you’re not really a true Chattanoogan unless you’ve said, “I’m outta here!” and moved somewhere else at least once.
Thinking there is somewhere better or more exciting usually prompts the move, but what makes you a true-blue Chattanoogan is the fact that you came back because you started to miss it. Awww…
6. Everyone In Chattanooga Will Drive Across The Street Rather Than Walk
You better bet that if Chattanoogans need to go a quarter of a mile down the road, they’ll drive even if it only takes a minute. I’ve personally seen someone drive to a store that was actually visible from their house.
To be fair, unless you’re downtown there aren’t sidewalks that make walking safe on Chattanooga roads, but these people just don’t seem to like to walk as a chore.
Unless, of course, they’re walking across the Walnut Street Bridge - that’s totally different.
7. Everyone In Chattanooga Likes Music You’ve Never Heard Of
Move over Portland. The hipsters are invading Chattanooga now. With the great music, thrift shops and trendy places to get PBR, it’s no wonder that East Coast hipsters are flocking here in droves and turning the town into a hub of culture that you’ve probably never heard of.
They love the music at JJ’s Bohemia and Track 29, they hang out at the food trucks, spend all their time discussing poetry at the artisanal coffee shops and only shop at Collective Clothing. That’s lot of plaid.
8. People In Chattanooga Are A Little Too Into Their Dogs
Everyone loves their dogs, but Chattanoogans take it to the, uh, extreme.
You’ll see pampered pooches, dapper dogs, and full-on corded poodles walking around with dyed hair and fancy outfits.
Chattanoogans buy their precious pups treats at Bon Appetit Bakery, get them pampered at The Ark Spa, and bring them for a blast at Choo Choo Dog Camp.
And you thought you had a problem.
9. Chattanoogans Are Divided Like The Sharks And The Jets
In Chattanooga, you either come from old money and live on Lookout and Signal Mountains, or you’re part of the common working-class crowd and you live in the Valley. That’s just the way it is.
You can spot the “mountain folk” by their conservative demeanor, fancy clothes and cars, and obvious desire for separation from the local, common folks that live in the valley. It’s always been this way with Chattanoogans and doesn’t appear to be changing anytime soon.
Maybe someday they’ll put a gate between the mountain and valley and make it official.
10. Chattanoogans Can’t Get Over Their Past
Chattanoogans can’t let go of their Civil War history and have no intention to let anyone else forget either.
Admittedly there were three battles fought right here during the Civil War, but these people won’t just remind you about it (although they do that a lot). They still do re-enactments, celebrate battle anniversaries and host historical tours.
Sometimes you might have to remind them it’s been almost 150 years since the Civil War ended. All those solar panels and hipsters flocking to the city are a great way to bring them back to reality.
