1. Albuquerque Is The Tough Older Brother Of New Mexico Cities
…whereas Santa Fe is definitely the coddled younger one. Anyone from Burque knows that the high velocity winds, the scorching heat and the tarantulas, scorpions and rattlesnakes make this a city tougher than your average bear. Nobody from Burque would trade cities with someone from Santa Fe if you paid them.
2. No One Squanders The Great Gift of Chiles
It doesn’t matter where you’re eating out, there’s gonna be a deluge of green chile coming your way. In a town where even the Big Macs come with green chiles on them, this may as well as be the state food. Of course you could just as easily substitute any of this for red chile if that’s what you’re into.
3. Albuquerque Has Five Seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter and Wind
On any given spring day, it’s generally recommended to add a lot of gel or hairspray to your morning routine, or go natural—otherwise your do is gonna look like you stopped by a wind tunnel on the way to work. Some people say the talk about the wind in Albuquerque is overblown (their pun, not mine), but all those incoming dust storms beg to differ.
4. The Best Burque Pick-Up Line Is “I’ll Buy You A Burrito”
Another great thing about Albuquerque is the New Mexican food, which deserves its own mention as being distinct from the Mexican food everyone else enjoys. It may or may not center around that eternal question, “Red or green?” Try Mary & Tito’s or Los Cuates. Trust me.
5. You’ll Learn To Talk The Burqueno Talk
Source: Blackoutdigital via Youtube
One of the youth subcultures of Burque is the burqueno, which any local knows has a very unique dialect. You’ll notice it pretty quick.
6. ABQ Natives Are Filled With Pride When They See The Zia Symbol
If you grew up in Albuquerque, there is a 100% chance you know someone with a zia tattoo. There’s also a marginally smaller chance that you’ll balk at transplants or out-of-staters making light of the sacred symbol.
7. The Lack Of Sopapilla Worldwide Is A Human Rights Violation
Everyone’s favorite fried pastry is tragically regional to the Southwest United States and all the countries on the way to the equator (and a little bit beyond). Get some honey in there, sprinkle some powdered sugar—you’ve got a classic New Mexican dessert.
8. Some People Hunt For A Christmas Tree In December—You Stock Up On Paper Bags
Most days of the year, Christmas just means both red and green chile. Come December, though, no one gets a tree. Instead, a bunch of paper bags weighted with sand get a little candle popped inside bears all the holiday tidings you’ll need.
9. Everyone In Burque Can Pass The AP Spanglish Exam
Make no mistake—the Spanglish you’ll see and hear all around Albuquerque, from the billboards to the passing conversation, is its very own language. And there are particular phrases that take a bit more work to translate. Trocas? Shortes? No hay palabras como eso en Espanol o English.
10. Everyone Has Their Own Nickname For Albuquerque
ABQ, or Burque, or Duke City—any of the above are correct for your new favorite city.
11. Rainfall Is A Shocking Plot Twist
When the clouds open, people in Burque usually say something like “Woah, this is weird! This, like, never happens.” And then they’ll avoid the roads as much as possible, because driving in ABQ after the water hits is just something you do not do.
12. The World’s Most Dangerous Animals Cohabitate In Albuquerque
Scorpions, tarantulas, the odd rattlesnake—you’ll see all kinds of otherwise-terrifying animals in a single month in New Mexico. People In Burque are totally used to them, so they won’t jump out of their jeans when they spot one on their porch—or in the toilet, which totally happens. Leave them alone and they’ll leave you alone.
13. No, It’s Not A Coyote Or A Wolf, It’s A Lobo!
Louie the Lobo, the mascot for University of New Mexico (just call it UNM) is basically a town hero. The beloved canine can be seen hanging on the sidelines at games and tweeting UNM-related antics at @LouieLobo.
14. Being Out Of Sadie’s Salsa Is The Worst Thing That Could Happen
If you’re a dyed-in-the-wool burqeno, your go-to salsa is an easy decision (unless your salsa is homemade) but if you go to the grocery store and everyone’s favorite spicy dip is gone, nothing is going to even begin to compare. It’s all about Sadie’s, baby!
15. A Trip To The Sandias Will Have You Working For The Weekend
You probably spend all day at work staring east if you’re lucky enough to have a window seat, but if the snow drops or a buddy wants to go hiking, you’ll be pulling a double-time shift of wistful Sandia-gazing.
16. Getting Up The Mountain Is Half The Fun
The slow move up the tram has inspired some to even make a movie set on the tramway (fittingly titled “The Tramway”). Watching the whole city spread out beneath you and seeing the amazing desert beyond is a true Albuquerque experience.
17. “Breaking Bad” Is A Way Of Life Here
People will heatedly disagree over whether “Breaking Bad” did more good for the city than harm (spoiler: not everyone in ABQ does meth!) but there’s no argument that it had a huge impact. Between the Candy Lady’s blue meth, tourists camping outside of the house used for the White family’s home on the show, and people actually eating at Twisters, its hard to miss it.
18. The Bosque Forest Is Burque’s Own Garden Of Eden
Some haters may call the Rio a “mud stain” or something like that, but the river itself is legendary, and the paseo through the state forest is like strolling through paradise. Folks who really know how to have a good time can take to the river on a canoe, too, It’s the best way to escape the city while staying the metro area.
19. Yes, You Can Make Snow Angels In ABQ
A lot of people are surprised to hear that snow gets down on the ground in dry heat ABQ. On average, the snowfall is about 11 inches, which is less than it sounds, before you get too excited, but that also means that you’ll get an even coating on some winter months.
20. October Means One Thing: The Hot Air Balloons Are Back!
Balloons float over the bosque, up past the Sandias, out over the desert—and they always look stunning doing it. For one week, tourists and locals alike flock to the Balloon Fiesta park to see those bright giants climb up into the sky.
21. Incredible Sunrises And Sunsets Are Pretty Standard
Some folks jokingly say that you can always tell a tourist or a transplant by how they stop to gape at the sunsets in the evening. The sunrises are just as stunning—purple, pink, red, yellow—virtually every one of your favorite colors is on display when the sun is coming or going over Albuquerque.
22. But The Sky Will Still Probably Make Your Jaw Drop At Least Once A Day
Sunrise and sunset get their own category, but it’s basically criminal that Montana gets to call itself “Big Sky Country” when Albuquerque has that down way better. The sky is nearly always crystal blue, and the rains regularly bring double, even triple rainbows. If you don’t believe me now, you will soon.
23. All The Cool Kids Do Xeriscaping
Part of desert rat life is making do with less. You aren’t going to find many of your typical green lawns with white fences. What you will find is a lot of xeriscaping—landscaping with little to no water involved. Usually this looks like succulents, stunning desert flowers, crazy cacti and a lot of gravel. Done up right, it looks like a the prettiest front yard oasis.
24. Don Schrader Is Either A Loon Or A Prophet
Before “Arrested Development” made cutoff jeans into a joke (that still never gets old) Don Schrader was making this apparel famous around the streets of Albuquerque. Known for his radically simple lifestyle and his refusal to pay a war tax, Don Schrader has even run for public office. Just wait, you’ll see him around.
25. Driving Is Optional In Trendy Nob Hill
Nob Hill is Burque’s go-to spot for cool bars, atmospheric restaurants, hip cafes—pretty much everything you’d ever need within a walking distance. Nob Hill is known as a “self-sufficient neighborhood” for a reason. A few primo spots: B2B Bistrol & Grill, the Guild Cinema, Nob Hill Music and the patio at Kelly’s.
26. The Slices Of New Mexico History Never Get Old
Albuquerque is prouder of their history than a mom watching their child graduate from college, and they aren’t shy about keeping it on display. Every square foot of Old Town is steeped in old New Mexican architecture, culture and history—plus there’s plenty to do besides take in the sights. The KiMo Theatre is another community institution that should be on anyone’s list to visit.
27. The Right Way To Pronounce Words Like “Pojoaque” Will Probably Surprise You
(Spoiler alert: it’s Po-wah-kee) Albuquerque has so much diverse cultures that still pervade life today that you can’t walk two feet without encountering a word that will make you pause. Native Albuquerqueans have grown up with them, so they’ve got them down. Until you learn them, just tap a friendly local on the shoulder to ask.
What’s something you learned while living in Albuquerque? Tell us in the comments below!
