1. Everyone In Alabama Pledges To War Eagle Or Roll Tide
There are recreational football fans. There are diehard football fans. There are obsessive football fans. And then there are Alabama football fans. If it comes between your emergency and a Crimson Tide vs. Vols game, you’re more than likely on your own.
You can either “Roll Tide!” for the University of Alabama or “War Eagle!” for Auburn University. You’re going to have to choose, whether you like it or not. The general rule of thumb is that three quarters of the state are sworn to the Crimson Tide, and most Auburn fans are largely students and alumni.
If you choose to Roll Tide, get some crimson and houndstooth and if you go Auburn, get a thick skin because opinions run deep on the loyalty to both teams, and fights have been known to get down and dirty. But most people keep the rivalry friendly.
2. If You’re "Fixinto" Fit In Here, You Gotta Talk The Alabamian Talk
If you’re in Alabama, you need to know how to pronounce the names, otherwise you’re going to stand out more than a Vols fan. Cities, for example: Birmingham turns to "Burminham," Mobile is "Mobeeel," Lafayette is "Lafette" and Huntsville is "Huntsvull."
“Fixinto” means you’re getting ready to do something. If you hear someone say “it’s coming up a cloud,” what they’re really saying is “it looks like it might rain.” You don’t push things, you "mash" them.
And when you "run to the Pig” (Piggly Wiggly), you put your paper sacks or plastic bags into your buggy, never a cart. If you start hearing things like “Rammer Jammer!” and “Weagle Weagle,” those are football related and you should be ashamed of yourself for not knowing!
3. You Think You Do Barbecue Better Than Alabamians? Bless Your Heart
Texas thinks they’ve got it. Atlanta swears they do, too. But sorry, y’all. Like it or not, it’s Alabama.
Everyone in the state has their opinion on which barbecue joint is the best, but two spots made it onto The Daily Meal’s top 10 list of Best Barbecue In America—Jim N’ Nicks and Moe’s in Tuscaloosa. Worthy of a special nod is the much beloved Dreamland Bar-B-Que and the award-winning Big Bob Gibson’s.
While we’re on the subject, the sauce itself has to be mentioned. Special to Alabama is the Decatur-famous white sauce, used to give a unique ‘Bama flavor to chicken. Some love it, some people hate it and some people have no idea that the rest of the country doesn’t use it. Who would ever be okay with missing out on such heaven?
4. Everyone In Alabama Loves All The Food From Alabama
Alabama’s barbecue definitely deserves the crown of the country. But the Heart of Dixie is full of amazing food. Just ask anyone what their favorite Alabama food is – that is, if you’ve got five minutes to stand around while they get through their list.
There are Royal Reds, rare lobster-tasting shrimp fresh from the Gulf of Mexico; fried green tomatoes (the movie might not have been filmed here, but it was ‘Bama inspired!), a “meat and three” plate, and obviously grits, especially with shrimp. The only spices you need on your table are salt, pepper and Tobasco.
Don’t forget to wash it all down with a Sweet Tea, heavy on the sugar, light on the tea. And no proper Alabama diet would be complete without an RC Cola and a few MoonPies.
5. Alabamians Really Are A Bunch Of Rocket Scientists
So you think
Alabama’s just a Southern state full of slow rednecks? You’re way off. Huntsville has played a role in the U.S. space program since the 1950s. Not to mention the U.S. Space & Rocket Center is home to a 363-foot Apollo-era Saturn V rocket. So basically everyone in Alabama is a bona-fide rocket scientist by osmosis.
Ever seen the '80s movie "Space Camp?" Every kid in Alabama (especially the ones from Huntsville) was obsessed. And the Huntsville Space Camp and Aviation Challenge are hugely popular programs attracting students from all over the world
Not everyone in Alabama gets to go to space camp, but every kid (especially in northern Alabama) dreams about it.
6. Did You Hear? Alabamians Live For A Good Gossip Sesh...
I just insulted Alabamians and you didn’t even realize it, right? I didn’t actually mean it, I’m just trying to prove my point. Alabamians are the masters of passive aggression and gossip. Look out especially for the little old ladies, especially if they’re already family—they know how to work an underhanded insult like nobody’s business.
Newspapers in Alabama always dedicate a page or two to local and world headlines—along with six pages for gossip. It’s never mean, but they know just how to phrase it so locals get it and everyone else thinks they’re being nice.
If you find someone saying “bless your heart,” your natural reaction might be to assume they’re giving you some sort of kind compliment. Now you know better.
7. ...But They’ll Still Be Your New Best Friend
Just because they know how to insult you without insulting you, that doesn’t mean that Alabamians are rude. Quite the opposite, actually. The people epitomize the heart of Southern Hospitality.
Kids are raised to never talk back and call adults “sir” and “ma’am.” If you’re from out of town, you won’t have trouble making friends because Alabamians will welcome you around their dinner tables with open arms. Even if you’re a Yankee. They might laugh at your funny accent, but be your new best friends at the same time.
Then again, if you find yourself at a bar during an Alabama game wearing Ole Miss gear, all bets are off.
8. Alabamians Like Big Butts And They Cannot Lie
Deep in the heart of Alabama you’ll find the Vulcan statue. This 56-foot-tall Roman god pays homage to the state’s roots in the iron and steel industry and is the tallest cast iron statue in the world. Also, he moons you. No, really. And everybody loves it.
The statue itself, however, is a pretty big deal. When it was removed in 1999 for much-needed restoration and repair, everyone in the state missed the big guy. It took five long years before it was put back where it belongs, buttlift and all, in 2004. Everyone was so happy they held a party to celebrate Vulcan's return for his 100th birthday, which brought out over 100,000 people.
9. Everyone In Alabama Rocks Out To “Sweet Home Alabama”—Even If They Hate It
With perhaps one of the most instantly recognizable intro riffs in music history, “Sweet Home Alabama” is legend for obvious reasons. It’s printed on license plates and if you get caught disrespecting it by talking over it at a rowdy bar, look out.
Not everyone actually loves the song, but it pays homage to their home where their Alabama blood runs thick. If they’re in another state and see another Alabama plate, they can tell what county the driver is from just by their vehicle, and instantly feel a bond with them.
Whether they’re of the mindset that "Sweet Home Alabama" should be the state song or couldn’t care any less, Alabamians still know every word and instantly reach to turn it up on the radio.
10. Alabamians Say You Can Take Your Wrong Ideas About Alabama And Shove ‘Em
People in Alabama have heard just about every Southern backwoods, redneck and hillbilly joke there is out there and they’re over all of them.
Maybe it’s because Hollywood can never seem to get Alabama right, either. Take “Forrest Gump,” which wasn’t even filmed there. There is no Greenbow. And let’s not even get started on “Sweet Home Alabama.” To add insult to injury, Reese Witherspoon is from New Orleans – who totally stole Mardi Gras from Alabama!
Alabamians aren’t what you see in the movies and they’re not the jokes you hear. They’re salt of the earth people with amazing food and rich culture, and if you have anything different to say about it, bless your heart, you can just turn yourself around and go home.
