“Christmas Style Breakfast Buritto”byAlan Levineis licensed underCC BY 2.0
All other burritos will just start to taste like sad lumps of food stuff wrapped in a tortilla.
“Fast Food”byChristian Cableis licensed underCC BY 2.0
You actually expect it to be high quality and taste good, which is apparently unreasonable.
“Wine”byDanny Robinsonis licensed underCC BY 2.0
Hmm… hints of oak… a floral bouquet… definitely from Napa Valley…
You want to go out for sushi in Chicago? Really? What ocean borders Chicago?
It turns out, nothing is wrong with it…except that it’s not in the Bay Area.
In the Bay Area you’re average, normal, even boring. Everywhere else… total weirdo.
Not everything measures up to It’s-It, Scoop, or CREAM ice cream sandwiches.
You can’t even remember the last time you wore something that wasn’t jeans to work.
And most people will laugh at you if you say a fifty degree day in winter is “pretty chilly.”
And you can find it literally anywhere because it’s all grown in your backyard.
And then you see the prices at a store outside the Bay Area and swear you can feel your wallet wither up and die in your pocket.
Mountains, desert, forest, and ocean are all super easy day trips. A couple hours (or less) in the car in any direction, and you’re there.
Instead of what it is to everyone else—a nice relaxing vacation.
No place is totally perfect, but you can be who you want, look how you want, and love who you want to love without the same fear of consequences you’d face elsewhere.
Oh, another World Series win? No big deal.
Between the 49ers and the Raiders, there are no boring Sundays in the Bay Area.
It may not be as American as football, baseball, and apple pie, but when you have a team like the Earthquakes in your corner, why not?
Watching the Sharks in the playoffs and cheering on the Warriors is enough to keep you busy all winter long. Bay Area sports fans are totally spoiled for life.
…until you stop biking those hills everyday.
Because snow has always just been that fun thing on top of mountains, not the gross thing that blocks your driveway that you have to scrape off your car in the morning.
All those gorgeous mild summer days? Not exactly the norm most places.
Not after you get hooked on baguettes from Acme or Tartine Bakery’s loaves.
Where else can you find multiple regional styles of Indian, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, Brazilian, Moroccan, French, Mexican and just about any other food without ever getting in your car?
And they’re better and crazier than anywhere else.
How does one adjust to life after being a walking Pitchfork article before it becomes a Pitchfork article?
They were still selling prints for $50 at a coffee shop or they just booked their first gallery show when you “discovered” them.
It’s like it’s not even a word you’re consciously saying anymore. It’s more of a verbal tic.
The Bay Area moves a little faster than elsewhere, whether it’s through protests to further human rights or innovative technology. And it sometimes makes it feel like the rest of the world is moving at a snail’s pace. How else has living in the Bay Area ruined you for life? Tell us in the comments below!
