{"id":42823,"date":"2015-07-29T14:21:26","date_gmt":"2015-07-29T21:21:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.movoto.com\/blog\/?p=42823"},"modified":"2015-07-29T14:21:26","modified_gmt":"2015-07-29T21:21:26","slug":"23-things-no-one-in-alabama-has-time-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.movoto.com\/blog\/23-things-no-one-in-alabama-has-time-for\/","title":{"rendered":"23 Things No One In Alabama Has Time For"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. The Last Time An Alabamian Found A Southern Joke Funny Was Two Years Ago Never<\/h2>\n

\"Ron<\/p>\n

Source: Make A Meme<\/div>\n

Heard any good \u201cyo\u2019 mama\u201d jokes lately? No? That\u2019s probably because they\u2019re just as tired as Southerner jokes. Everyone in Alabama<\/a> knows outsiders think they\u2019re slow, racist, uneducated hillbillies. Let them come down here and say it. Otherwise, keep it up north.<\/p>\n

2. Just Because You Know The Words To \u201cSweet Home Alabama\u201d Doesn\u2019t Mean Anyone Wants To Hear You Sing It<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Photobucket<\/div>\n

Yes, everyone knows the words to \u201cSweet Home Alabama\u201d. Some people love the song, some couldn\u2019t care less. But seriously, don\u2019t start singing it to someone when you learn they\u2019re from Alabama. Talk about slow\u2026<\/p>\n

3. It\u2019s Not A Shore If It\u2019s Not The Gulf<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Alabama Travel via Facebook<\/div>\n

Alabama might not have the biggest coast line around but what they do have is as gorgeous as it gets.<\/p>\n

4. Alabamans Know That A World Without NASA Is No World At All<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Alabama Travel via Facebook<\/div>\n

So stop defunding NASA and space programs, please. As a side note, it\u2019s kind of ridiculous to make stupid hillbilly jokes about a state that has Rocket City, don\u2019t you think?<\/p>\n

5. Frowns That Won\u2019t Go Upside Down Should Leave Town<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Alabama Travel via Facebook<\/div>\n

Alabama is the land of honest, good, and genuinely nice people. So check your attitudes in Florida.<\/p>\n

6. And If You Disagree, Bless Your Heart<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Tumblr<\/div>\n

Alabamians might be friendly, polite, and nice but they have also mastered the art of passive aggression. If someone says \u201cbless your heart\u201d to you, they\u2019re not blessing you. Trust me.<\/p>\n

7. Spend Mardi Gras In New Orleans? Bless Your Heart<\/h2>\n

\"Mardi<\/p>\n

Source: Alabama Travel via Facebook<\/div>\n

New Orleans<\/a> might be known for Mardi Gras but it started right here in Montgomery. No real Alabamian needs to travel out of state to have the best, beaded time.<\/p>\n

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8. Running Out Of Moon Pies At Mardi Gras Is Just Poor Planning<\/h2>\n

\"Moonpies\"<\/p>\n

Source: MoonPie via Facebook<\/div>\n

Just kidding. No one in Alabama would ever run out of MoonPies. The question is, what\u2019s your favorite flavor?<\/p>\n

9. People Who Don\u2019t Use Ranch As A Condiment Don\u2019t Know Good Cuisine<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Tumblr<\/div>\n

Alabamians are proof that Ranch goes with literally everything. Salad? Of course. Chicken? Duh. Grilled cheese? Don\u2019t knock it \u2018til you try it! Not having it on hand in restaurants or at parties is just unacceptable.<\/p>\n

10. Not Every Alabaman Feels Like Answering Your Questions About \u201cThe Help\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Visit Alabama via Facebook<\/div>\n

Although it\u2019s a good book and it might be hard to believe, The Help isn\u2019t a true story and not everyone has even read it. I know, shocking.<\/p>\n

11. Desserts That Get All Fancy? Nah<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Steel City Pops via Facebook<\/div>\n

Popsicles are still how it\u2019s done in Alabama. And not that gross sugar-flavored ice sticks. We\u2019re talking real popsicles.<\/p>\n

12. You Can Keep Your Peaches, Georgia<\/h2>\n

\"Shelves<\/p>\n

Source: Peach Park via Facebook<\/div>\n

They might be good and all. But the peaches in Chilton County are 100 times better. No, really.<\/p>\n

13. Making Plans On Game Day Isn\u2019t The Best Idea<\/h2>\n

\"Football<\/p>\n

Source: Alabama Football via Facebook<\/div>\n

Football really is as big as religion in Alabama. Everyone might not follow it but most do and the state all but revolves around games. So, that wedding you planning on having? Just make sure it doesn\u2019t fall on game day if you were expecting any guests to show up.<\/p>\n

14. Explaining The Difference Between War Eagle And Roll Tide Could Take All Year<\/h2>\n

\"Auburn<\/p>\n

Source: Auburn Tigers vs. Alabama Crimson Tide Smack Page via Facebook<\/div>\n

But for this one, Alabamians will make an exception by squeezing the time in for. They\u2019ll be happy to let you know why the Roll Tide or War Eagle and why you should, too.<\/p>\n

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15. Alabamians Don\u2019t Need To Defend Their Reactions To Snow<\/h2>\n

\"Meme<\/p>\n

Source: Geek Alabama<\/div>\n

Another thing Alabama takes heat for is their reactions to snow when it actually arrives. But it\u2019s not exactly weird that most people aren\u2019t prepared for snow considering that Alabama doesn\u2019t spend the winter getting buried in it like up north does. If it snows, yes, everyone kind of sucks at driving. And they\u2019re completely okay with that. It\u2019s a good trade-off to dodging those Boston winters.<\/p>\n

16. Getting Sprayed By A Skunk On The Way To The Pig<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: The Richest<\/div>\n

No matter where in Alabama you live, there are just some universal truths. And one is that skunk sprays always happen at the most inconvenient times. Not that there is a convenient time for it, mind you. The smell really never gets any better.<\/p>\n

17. Grandma Won\u2019t Be Handing Over Her Cat Head Biscuit Recipe Any Time Soon<\/h2>\n

\"An<\/p>\n

Source: The Daily Touch<\/div>\n

What\u2019s a cat head biscuit, you ask? Don\u2019t worry, they\u2019re not made from actual cat heads. Or maybe they are, you\u2019ll never really know until you get your hands on that recipe\u2026<\/p>\n

18. You Don\u2019t Need To Know What\u2019s In The Gravy Sausage<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Giphy<\/div>\n

Don\u2019t ask. Just enjoy.<\/p>\n

19. When The Bug Spray Is Out, The Night Is Over<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Flickr user Enrique Dans<\/div>\n

It\u2019s strange that so many people spend their time looking for Bigfoot when the mosquitos of Alabama are roaming around right out in the open. They\u2019re way scarier and often times even bigger.<\/p>\n

20. No, Alabamians Aren\u2019t Saying Buggy Wrong<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Flickr user ~lzee~blue~<\/div>\n

\u201cShopping cart?\u201d Who has time for all that? It\u2019s a buggy, get it right!<\/p>\n

21. No One Says \u201cYou All\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Flickr user Gregory Morris<\/div>\n

It\u2019s y\u2019all. Straight and to the point.<\/p>\n

22. The Alabama Accent (Or Lack Thereof) Definitely Keeps Everyone On Their Toes<\/h2>\n

\"An<\/p>\n

Source: Some E Cards<\/div>\n

Alabamians might say y\u2019all as a general rule, but that doesn\u2019t mean everyone has the stereotypical accent. Some have it strong, some only have it a little bit, and some don\u2019t have it at all. So there\u2019s no need to be surprised or ask about it.<\/p>\n

23. Defending Southern Pride Gets Tiresome For Everyone<\/h2>\n

\"An<\/p>\n

Source: Flickr user Larry Miller<\/div>\n

Alabama is an awesome state and the people here loyal to their heritage. Has it always done things the right way? No and most people would agree. But that doesn\u2019t mean that Alabamians can\u2019t be happy to call this their home. This is where the skies are so blue, after all.
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