{"id":42790,"date":"2015-07-28T19:12:14","date_gmt":"2015-07-29T02:12:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.movoto.com\/blog\/?p=42790"},"modified":"2015-07-28T19:12:14","modified_gmt":"2015-07-29T02:12:14","slug":"22-more-things-no-one-in-florida-has-time-for","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.movoto.com\/blog\/22-more-things-no-one-in-florida-has-time-for\/","title":{"rendered":"22 More Things No One In Florida Has Time For"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. Floridians Can See Right Through Your Paradise Envy<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Meme Gen<\/div>\n

Ever notice how Floridians get treated like the step-kid the other 49 states try to make sleep under the stairs? That\u2019s just the built up resentment of seeing Floridians basking in the balmy January sunshine in flip flops while everyone else is breaking their backs shoveling snow and plotting their escape to early retirement in, where? Oh yeah, Florida<\/a>.<\/p>\n

2. Getting Stuck Behind The Snowbirds Is The Worst<\/h2>\n

\"Two<\/p>\n

Source: VISIT FLORIDA Facebook<\/div>\n

People who move to Florida for the winter and adapt to the local culture are one thing. But Northerners who come to Florida to keep from freezing to death but bring their Northerner lifestyles and attitudes with them are the worst. Florida is a melting pot. Learn how to blend.<\/p>\n

3. Nevermind, Getting Stuck Behind Tourists Is Actually The Worst<\/h2>\n

\"Two<\/p>\n

Source: VISIT FLORIDA Facebook<\/div>\n

It\u2019s not the Florida doesn\u2019t enjoy all the money they make off their tourism industry. But if you\u2019re within 50 miles of a beach, don\u2019t plan on getting anywhere fast. And if you\u2019re within 50 miles of Disney, invest in tranquilizers.<\/p>\n

4. Don\u2019t Insult Them With That Imitation Orange Juice Crap<\/h2>\n

\"Two<\/p>\n

Source: VISIT FLORIDA Facebook<\/div>\n

What is this artificially flavored orange poison? If it\u2019s not made from a Florida orange, it\u2019s not worth drinking.<\/p>\n

5. Beaches Basically Anywhere Else<\/h2>\n

\"People<\/p>\n

Source: VISIT FLORIDA Facebook<\/div>\n

A beach is not just any beach. What color is this sand\u2026 yellow? Eww. Floridians are used to pristine, white sand against clear blue water. Anything less isn\u2019t worth discussing.<\/p>\n

6. Floridians Avoid The Summer Heat Like The Plague<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Meme Pile<\/div>\n

Floridians are proud of their beaches but you\u2019ll only find them there in the late fall and winter months. Florida gets so hot, it feels much like what I assume it would if Satan himself ran an air vent from Hell and opened it up directly over Tallahassee<\/a>. Floridians stay inside in the air conditioning from May through October.<\/p>\n

7. The Severe Hypothermic Conditions Of 70 Degree Weather<\/h2>\n

<\/p>\n

Source: Geek Fill<\/div>\n

Believe it or not, it does get cold in Florida. Sometimes it gets so cold, Floridians even have to put on a jacket. It\u2019s unbearable, really.<\/p>\n

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8. Floridians See Your Islands And Raise You The Keys<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: VISIT Florida Facebook<\/div>\n

You might be able to find islands everywhere. But only Florida has The Keys. It\u2019s OK to be jealous.<\/p>\n

9. Income Tax Is A Fate Worse Than Death For Floridians<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Quick Meme<\/div>\n

Florida is one of the few states still left that doesn\u2019t have state income tax. That means that virtually everyone else is paying to live everywhere but Florida. And that makes no sense what-so-ever.<\/p>\n

10. South Florida If You\u2019re North, North Florida If You\u2019re South<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: imgur<\/div>\n

If you have to ask what\u2019s so different about the Panhandle and Southern Florida, you probably wouldn\u2019t understand anyway. It might as well be two different states. The Panhandle is more typically Southern, and Southern Florida is generally what you see in all those beach and Disney pictures.<\/p>\n

11. People Who Think Disneyland Is The Same Thing As Disney World<\/h2>\n

\"Disney<\/p>\n

Source: Walt Disney World Facebook<\/div>\n

Stop comparing the two. One is a land, the other is a world. You do the math. Florida wins.<\/p>\n

12. Visits From Out-Of-Town Friends<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Walt Disney World Facebook<\/div>\n

Because they know they\u2019re going to get stuck taking them to Disney World. Hey, I said Disney World was better than Disney Land. I didn\u2019t say Floridians actually go<\/i> there.<\/p>\n

13. Grocery Stores That Dare To Have A Name Other Than Publix<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Publix Facebook<\/div>\n

Because there is no greater culinary concoction on Earth than that of a Publix Sub.<\/p>\n

14. All Those Anti-Florida Political Jokes<\/h2>\n

\"Jon<\/p>\n

Source: The Daily Show via imgur<\/div>\n

You leave one chad dangling and you never live it down\u2026<\/p>\n

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15. Floridians Have Never Met A Hurricane They Can\u2019t Party To<\/h2>\n

\"People<\/p>\n

Source: Phish.net<\/div>\n

You know that song that goes, \u201chere I am, rock you like a hurricane?\u201d That was written by Florida. OK, it was actually written by The Scorpions. But it could have been written by Florida and that\u2019s all that matters. Hurricane parties are a dime a dozen in the Sunshine State.<\/p>\n

16. Deciding Not To Go Back For The Sunblock<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Forever Twenty Somethings<\/div>\n

It doesn\u2019t matter how late a Floridian is running. If they forgot the sunblock, they go back for it, otherwise the outcome can be brutal. And with a sun that is only about 50 feet away from the surface of Florida, it\u2019s not surprising that the person who invented sunblock was a Floridian in 1944.<\/p>\n

17. Floridians Don\u2019t Care About Your Football Team<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Miami Dolphins Facebook<\/div>\n

The 1972 Dolphins remain the only undefeated team in NFL history. And Floridians won\u2019t let you forget it.<\/p>\n

18. There Is No Making Friends With Heat Haters<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: Miami Heat Facebook<\/div>\n

The Miami<\/a> Heat, that is. How does the old proverb go? If you can\u2019t take The Heat, then get out of Miami.<\/p>\n

19. Floridians Can\u2019t Be Bothered To Explain Why Stone Crabs Are Superior<\/h2>\n

\"Crab<\/p>\n

Source: Flickr user Wally Gobetz<\/div>\n

There\u2019s no time to explain. There is only time to eat. Get crackin\u2019.<\/p>\n

20. Spring Means Wishing Florida Wasn\u2019t So Great After All<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: VISIT Florida Facebook<\/div>\n

Between the spring breakers who don\u2019t know how to use a trash can and spring training season, April is the universal month Floridians wish they could convince outsiders that North Dakota is the new Florida.<\/p>\n

21. Floridians Know Speed Limits Are As Useless As Income Tax<\/h2>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Source: VISIT FLORIDA Facebook<\/div>\n

Because what good is a car if it can\u2019t go really fast in the same circle for the next few hours?<\/p>\n

22.. Manatee Ambivalence Will Not Be Tolerated<\/h2>\n

\"Manatees\"<\/p>\n

Source: VISIT FLORIDA Facebook<\/div>\n

If you don\u2019t love manatees, then you don\u2019t have any business in Florida.
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