{"id":40305,"date":"2015-03-19T15:55:12","date_gmt":"2015-03-19T22:55:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.movoto.com\/blog\/?p=40305"},"modified":"2015-03-19T15:55:12","modified_gmt":"2015-03-19T22:55:12","slug":"leaving-iowa","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.movoto.com\/blog\/leaving-iowa\/","title":{"rendered":"30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Iowa"},"content":{"rendered":"

1. Everyone Suddenly Seems Like Such a Big Jerky Jerkface<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Wiffle Gif<\/div>\n

You\u2019re so used to the glowing personalities of Iowans, being suddenly thrust into the outside population feels much like what you assume Buddy The Elf felt like when he left The North Pole. No one appreciates the pure niceness of an Iowan like a fellow Iowan.<\/p>\n

2. Kiss Your Maid-Rite Goodbye<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Recipe Great<\/div>\n

The only loose meat you\u2019re going to find are in sloppy Joes from here on out. It\u2019s a sad world out there, kids.<\/p>\n

3. Iowans Are Some Of The Brightest Bulbs In The Lamp<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Meme Crunch<\/div>\n

Outsiders have a misguided perception of Iowans as being a bit slow to the punch. Meanwhile, it has one of the most literary active populations in the entire country. The advantage is, you can really hustle those people in a Scrabble game.<\/p>\n

4. You\u2019ll Spend A Lot Of Time Describing The Iowa Landscape<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Carl Wycoff via Flickr<\/div>\n

Since a lot of people seem to think the state is nothing but dirt roads and tumbleweeds, it\u2019s up to you to educate them. They somehow missed those rolling, green Iowa hills that make even the idyllic English countryside look dreary, and that Des Moines was named the wealthiest city in America in 2014. You don\u2019t get that name by living out of covered wagons.<\/p>\n

5. Here’s A PhD For Explaining How Iowa Is Different From Idaho And Ohio<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Cafe Press<\/div>\n

Apparently people think if a state has three syllables with more vowels than consonants, they must all be the same. It\u2019s really annoying at first, but you grow to become grateful that you\u2019re not mistaken for New Jersey.<\/p>\n

6. You\u2019ll Brag About People You Never Thought You Would<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: imgur<\/div>\n

Ashton Kutcher? Slipknot? Sure. Why not? They\u2019re Iowans which makes them infinitely cooler than everyone else.<\/p>\n

7. If You Build It, They Still Won\u2019t Come<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: gfairchild via Flickr<\/div>\n

You\u2019re literally leaving behind an entire Field of Dreams. Those things don\u2019t just grow on trees, you know. (Because they grow in corn fields, duh.)<\/p>\n

8. And Everyone Will Ask An Iowan If They\u2019ve Seen The Movie<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Quick Meme<\/div>\n

Field of Dreams? The best movie of all time? The one where Kevin Costner kidnaps Darth Vader and finally gets to play a game of catch with his Goodfellas dad? Nope. Never seen it.<\/p>\n

9. People Have Low Standards For Corn Mazes<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: daveynin via Flickr<\/div>\n

What are you going to do without all those glorious corn fields? Hide-and-go seek will never be the same. Maze running will never be the same. And your dinner plate will definitely never be the same.<\/p>\n

10. Brace Yourself–No More Sterzing\u2019s Chips<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Dana Ireland Shade Facebook<\/div>\n

Your options now are limited to the likes of Lays. How do people even survive out here?<\/p>\n

11. People Will Assume You Must Not Be That Into Sports<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Travel Iowa Facebook<\/div>\n

Without a pro football team, what would be the point right? If you say so\u2026<\/p>\n

12.That Black And Gold Color Combo Won\u2019t Transition Very Well Most Other Places<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: alan-light via Flickr<\/div>\n

You\u2019ll find you stand out like a sore thumb with all that black and gold on.<\/p>\n

13. Explaining Herky Isn\u2019t As Easy As You Thought<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: The Real Herky Facebook<\/div>\n

He\u2019s just a \u201cyou had to be there\u201d kind of thing. No one will get it and this will enrage you.
\n\/\/
\n\/\/ <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\/\/ <\/div>\n<\/div>\n

14. Cyclones Are Something You Need An Emergency Plan For<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Iowa State Daily<\/div>\n

If you\u2019re not a Hawkeyes fan, you\u2019re obsessed with Iowa State. This Cyclone obsession doesn\u2019t come with a mandatory emergency kit. Everywhere else, it does.<\/p>\n

15. No Other Rivalry Ever Seems As Intense As An Iowa-Iowa State Game<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: krui.fm<\/div>\n

When people ask why you have an ulcer and you tell them that it\u2019s because of the last Iowa-Iowa State game, everyone will think you\u2019re nuts. Only an Iowan could ever really understand.<\/p>\n

16. And A House Divided Can Never Truly Be Explained<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: regan76 via Flickr<\/div>\n

Relationships that exist between Iowa-Iowa State rivals should have research papers written about them in science journals. How they manage to not only co-exist but still love each other after an Iowa-Iowa State game is truly an oddity to marvel.<\/p>\n

17. No One Seems To Know What Day The Music Died<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Buzznet.com<\/div>\n

But you will never forget.<\/p>\n

18. Your State Fair Enthusiasm Will Go From 50 To About 2<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Iowa State Fair Facebook<\/div>\n

If you think that you\u2019ll find giant butter cows hardcore enough to need their own security team, pork chops on a stick, voting with corn kernels, double bacon wrapped corn dogs, potato chicken pickle towers, and a Sky Glider to get you around to all of it without having to move anywhere, then you\u2019re in for a sad day when you discover that no one knows how to do a state fair the way Iowa does.<\/p>\n

19. “Fresh Dairy” Isn’t As Fresh Everywhere Else<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Iowa State Fair Facebook<\/div>\n

Your macaroni and cheese won\u2019t be the only thing that suffers for your decision to leave Iowa.<\/p>\n

20. You\u2019ll Be So Much Less Important Come Election Time<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Valleywestinn.com<\/div>\n

It\u2019s like no one even knows what a caucus is.<\/p>\n

21. And Good Luck Getting Your Baby Kissed By The President<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: abcnew.com<\/div>\n

Chances of having your baby kissed by the potential President whether they like it or not in Iowa = 1:4
\nChances of having your baby kissed by the potential President whether they like it or not anywhere else = 1: 899,320,648<\/p>\n

22. No Race Can Hold A Candle To RAGBRAI<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: RABGRAI Facebook<\/div>\n

You might find plenty of bike races wherever it is you land. But if you think you\u2019ll find a week-long bike tour across an entire state with nearly 10,000 competitors, you\u2019re sorely mistaken. That\u2019s because RAGBRAI is the largest bike touring event in the world. Yes, the world.
\n\/\/ <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
\/\/ <\/div>\n<\/div>\n

23. Vacationing At Disney Is A Yawn Compared To Adventureland<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Adventureland Park Facebook<\/div>\n

No more Adventureland? What is a childhood without the Bermuda Quadrangle?!<\/p>\n

24. There Are Plenty Of Zombies, But No Zombie Burgers<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Zombie Burger + Drink Lab Facebook<\/div>\n

The zombie craze has taken over the whole country. But you can only get an awesome Walking Ched from Des Moines own Zombie Burger.<\/p>\n

25. No One Will Be Allowed To Love Bacon The Way That You Love Bacon<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: The Star<\/div>\n

Everywhere you go, you\u2019ll find people who say that they love bacon. And I\u2019m sure they do. It\u2019s bacon, after all. But do they have an entire festival dedicated to it? And can you get an entire bucket full of bacon the way you can at Jethro\u2019s Bacon Bacon? Nope.
\nPigs don\u2019t outnumber Iowans 3-1 for nothing. That bacon loving title is yours.<\/p>\n

26. That Pork Queen Sash Might Not Be As Impressive To Outsiders<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Iowa Pork<\/div>\n

Trust me, you should be jealous.<\/p>\n

27. People Will Think You Invented Snow<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: bobcargill.wordpress.com<\/div>\n

If you don\u2019t know how to drive in the snow, then you\u2019re definitely not from Iowa. Anywhere else, and you\u2019ll scoff in the face of blizzards and make full scale igloos in your sleep while your new neighbors panic and clear the shelves of bread and milk over four inches.<\/p>\n

28. Iowa Stories Sound A Lot Stranger When You Leave<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Giphy<\/div>\n

You know that story about how your dad went and bought a bunch of cows for his midlife crisis? It sounds perfectly normal here in Iowa. But when you leave, people will think you\u2019re joking even when you\u2019re being dead serious.<\/p>\n

29. Exile Is Not Fun Without Exile<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: Exile Brewing Co. Facebook<\/div>\n

But if you can find it, you\u2019ll feel like you just hit the jackpot.<\/p>\n

30. There\u2019s No Place Like Home<\/h2>\n

\"30<\/p>\n

Source: tswails.com<\/div>\n

For all of these reasons and many, many more, you will quickly come to realize that leaving Iowa was the biggest mistake of your life. Luckily, Iowa is always waiting to welcome you back with open arms proving that you can, in fact, always come back home. (And you will.)
\nWhat do you miss about Iowa? Tell us in the comments below!<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. Everyone Suddenly Seems Like Such a Big Jerky Jerkface Source: Wiffle Gif You\u2019re so used to the glowing personalities of Iowans, being suddenly thrust into the outside population feels much like what you assume Buddy The Elf felt like when he left The North Pole. No one appreciates the pure niceness of an Iowan like a fellow Iowan. 2. Kiss Your Maid-Rite Goodbye Source: Recipe Great The only loose meat you\u2019re going to find are in sloppy Joes from here on out. It\u2019s a sad world out there, kids. 3. Iowans Are Some Of The Brightest Bulbs In The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":40306,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-40305","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinions","post--single"],"yoast_head":"\n30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Iowa<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Give that Maid-Rite a long kiss goodbye.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.movoto.com\/blog\/leaving-iowa\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving Iowa\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Give that Maid-Rite a long kiss goodbye.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.movoto.com\/blog\/leaving-iowa\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Movoto Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MovotoRealEstate\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-03-19T22:55:12+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.movoto.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/30-Things-Leaving-Iowa-featured.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"302\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Movoto\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@movoto\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@movoto\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" 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