1. “Have You Ever Lived In A Commune?”
No, but ask another five Oregonians and you’ll probably get at least one yes.
2. “Seattle Is Cool. Why Don’t You Just Live In Seattle?”
There are so many reasons that actually answering this question could take all day.
3. “Is It Just Like Portlandia There?”
First, Portland is not the entire state of Oregon. Second, not even Portland is like Portlandia…well…mostly.
4. “How Do You Live With All That Rain?”
Well, you don’t if you’re in eastern Oregon. If you’re in the wet part, you just scrunch up your face and try to pretend it’s not happening.
5. “Why Don’t You Own Any Umbrellas?”
Please refer to face scrunching method above.
6. “Smoke Weed Every Day, Am I Right?”
Yeah, everyone’s kind of over the excited high school stoner phase at this point, but sure.
7. “Do You Just Love Craft Beer?”
Yes, it’s actually written into Oregon law that all residents must love craft beer or face life imprisonment.
8. “What Are Filberts?”
It’s just…the nut…you know…filberts. How do you not know what filberts are?
9. “But Why Would You Hate Californians?”
Take a look at this rent increase notice and ask that question again.
10. “Why Does Everyone Care So Much About Recycling?”
Uh…have you looked around in Oregon? No one wants this pretty landscape to go away.
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11. “Well, What Happens If I Don’t Recycle?”
You’re killed. Brutally.
12. “How Do You Deal With All These Cyclists On The Streets?”
Mostly by driving at speeds your great grandmother would say were too slow, or going the whole “if you can’t beat them, join them” route.
13. “Should I Move To Portland?”
No, sorry, Portland is closed.
14. “Oh My God, Are Those Actually Chickens In Your Backyard?”
Yeah, duh. Where do you think the eggs you ate this morning came from?
15. “Are You, Like, A Total Hipster?”
That word has lost all meaning to Oregonians at this point, so there’s no way to answer this question.
16. “Who Even Cares About Soccer?”
Uh, just like everyone else in the world and Oregonians, that’s who.
17. “Isn’t It Super Liberal There?”
Well…it sure depends on which part of the state you’re in.
18. “Is Kyle MacLachlan The Real Mayor Of Portland?”
Well, considering Portland, this is actually not the stupidest question in the world.
19. “What’s That Weird Tree Flag I’ve Been Seeing Everywhere?”
Oh, the Cascadia flag? It’s just the Pacific Northwest’s escape parachute. You know…for when the revolution happens.
20. “Wait Isn’t OSU In Ohio?”
Believe it or not, there are more than two states that start with O and don’t have the most creatively named state universities.
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21. “Wait, Are You Sure That Price Is Right?”
Yep, it’s right. There’s just no sales tax, because Oregon is awesome.
22. “Why Can’t I Pump My Own Gas?”
The real question here is, “Why would you want to?”
23. “Do You Live On A Farm?”
Does having an impressive herb garden count?
24. “Everyone Is Really Friendly In Oregon, Right?”
Sure…as long as you’re not a Californian.
25. “How Do You Pronounce Umpqua?”
Sorry, can’t tell you. It’s a state secret. Plus, it’s way too fun to watch you try.
26. “Why Is Everyone So Weird About Water?”
Try a sip of cool, refreshing Oregon tap water and you’ll never ask that ridiculous question again.
27. “What Are Those Pink Boxes?”
They’re Voodoo Doughnut boxes. All Portland tourists are required to wait for an hour in line to order doughnuts, or they’re not allowed to leave.
28. “What’s Does That Whole Owl For Dinner Thing Mean?”
Well, it really depends on if you’re asking an environmentalist or an Oregonian logger…
29. “Why Doesn’t Anyone Have Plastic Bags?”
Some stubborn places in Oregon still do, but for the most part Oregonians like to not destroy the entire planet.
30. “What’s Even In Oregon Besides Portland?”
Oh, nothing. Except a ton of awesome small cities, cool towns, gorgeous forests, mountains, scenic coasts, rivers, and innovative organic farms…
What’s the question everyone asks you just because you’re from Oregon? Tell us in the comments below!
