1. “So Does That Make You A M@ssh#!e?”
Basically, yes. And proud of it.
2. “Does That Mean You’re A Big Jerk?”
Massholes say what they mean, drive with a purpose, and they don’t sugar coat anything. At least you know they’re not wishy-washy.
3. “Are You A Patriots Fan?”
Obviously.
4. “But Aren’t The Pats Just A Bunch Of Cheating Cheaters Pumpkin Eaters Boo Hoo?”
Oh, so we have a hater in our midst, do we?
5. “Have You Ever Been To A Red Sox Game?”
Nah. Fenway Park just magically fills itself.
6. “What Is A Green Monster And Why Are We Cheering For It?”
It’s a monster of a wall that makes players earn their runs, that’s what it is.
7. “Where Can I Find The Nearest Dunkin?”
You probably don’t even have to ask since there’s one right there. And one over there. Oh, and if you go two blocks up and turn right, there’s one there, too.
8. “Who Is Huey And Why Do You Want Me To Bang Him?”
No, “bang a U-ey!” It’s the Massachusetts way of saying making a U-turn.
9. “Do You Pahk The Cah At Hahvahd Yahd?”
You’re only the eleven millionth person to make that joke. Congratulations!
10. “Why Don’t You Have That Thick Boston Accent?”
Not everyone in Boston has the thick Boston accent, let alone the entire state.
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11. “Is Boston Cream Pie From Boston?”
Boston Cream Pie is such a big deal, it was named the official dessert of Massachusetts in 1996. Where’d you think it came from, Mississippi?
12. “A Fluffer-What?”
A fluffernutter. It’s a peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich, super thick on the fluff. And it’s delicious.
13. “Can I Get A Milkshake?”
It depends. Do you want ice cream in that milkshake? Eastern Mass calls the kind with ice cream a frappe, without ice cream is a milkshake.
14. “What’s The Difference Between The Cape And Cape Cod?”
Nothing, other than how to spot the tourists.
15. “Can I Get A Red Chowder Around Here?”
Get. Out.
16. “Can I Get Sprinkles On My Ice Cream?”
If you want rainbow sprinkles, then yes! If you want chocolate, though, you’re going to have to ask for jimmies.
17. “Do You Know Ben Affleck Or Matt Damon?”
Nope. Don’t know Mark Wahlberg, either. Sorry.
18. “Are You From Beantown?”
No one in Massachusetts calls it Beantown. But believe it or not, there is a whole entire state attached to Boston. Which is why it’s called Massachusetts, not Bostachusetts.
19. “How Do You Deal With All That Snow?”
You grab a sled and make the most of it. And then you go home and talk about how much you can’t wait for summer.
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20. “What’s Up With Your Skinny Bowling Pins?”
That’s duckpin bowling. What are you, chicken?
21. “What’s A Rotary?”
It’s a traffic circle, sometimes called a roundabout elsewhere.
22. “What’s A Packie?”
It’s where you buy your booze. It’s mostly an Eastern Mass thing.
23. “Don’t You Ever Use Your Turn Signal?”
It’s called a blinker. And the faster you get used to the rules of the road, the better off you’ll be.
First come first merge is debatable, blinkers are optional, and someone behind you is probably screaming at you at all times.
24. “Do You Still Have Any Witches In Salem?”
Not the kind you read about in school, anyway.
25. “It’s April, Why Do You Have An Ice Scraper In Your Car?”
Because spring is a LIAR!
26. “What Is This Magical Glass Of Sunshine?”
That’s a Del’s Lemonade, the stuff summers are made of.
27. “What Does Reverse The Curse Mean?”
It doesn’t really matter anymore. With Championships in 2004, 2007, and 2013, everyone is pretty confident that it’s long-since reversed. Suck it, Yankees.
28. “Did You Go To Harvard?”
The answer might be yes. But probably not. Same goes for all the other fancy schools throughout Massachusetts.
29. “A Hoodsie What?”
A Hoodsie Cup. Those are the little ice cream cup that childhoods are made of.
30. “I Guess You Guys Get Good Lobster Around Here?”
You guess? Have yourself a lobster roll and you’ll know.
31. “Why Do You Guys Hate The Yankees So Much?”
If you don’t already know the answer to that question, then you’re not from the Northeast coast of the country.
32. “That Was Wicked, Wasn’t It?”
Ugh. If you’re going to use “wicked,” at least use it right.
What’s the question everyone asks you just because you’re from Massachusetts? Tell us in the comments below!
