1. Listening To Your Complaints About The Cold Weather
It’s cold sometimes in Wisconsin. Stop freaking out. The summer months make it completely worth it.
2. Giving A FIB Directions
Short for “F*ckin’ Illinois Bast*rd”, there’s nothing more annoying than a lost driver from Chicago slowing down traffic in Wisconsin on their way to crowd the local lakes.
3. Taking Plastic Wrap Off Kraft Singles
Wisconsinites don’t mess around with the stuff that gets mass-produced when it comes dairy products. They go straight for giant chunks of locally produced cheese.
4. Explaining The Term “Cheesehead”
Stemming from the huge level of cheese production in the Badger State, “cheesehead” is just an endearing term that’s used when you’re talking about a die-hard Green Bay Packers fan.
5. Cheering For Any College Team That’s Not The Badgers
It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, but UW-Madison is the top dog in this state. Come college game day, streets in every corner of Wisconsin are flooded with red.
6. Importing Beer
If you’re in Wisconsin, there’s an unwritten rule that you have to drink beer brewed locally. With so many awesome craft breweries and even a few big names calling this state home, the beer here is pretty gosh darn delicious.
7. Explaining The Difference Between A Hot Dog And A Beer Brat
If you can’t look at a hot dog and a beer brat and see the difference for yourself, it’s just a lost cause. Beer brats obviously reign supreme.
8. Getting Stuck Behind A Slow Snow Driver
Snow is a part of life in Wisconsin and when it starts to accumulate life tends to go on normally, unlike many other states in the country.
If someone is going to take their car out on a snowy day, it’s sure to annoy everyone else on the road if they suddenly realize they have no clue how to operate a vehicle with some powder on the ground.
9. Waiting In The Beer Line At Summerfest During A Big Show
One of the biggest music festivals in the world, nothing is worse than when your cup goes dry in the middle of a packed crowd mid-performance.
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10. The Bears
The Bears still and forever will indeed suck. This is nothing less than a fact in Wisconsin.
11. Waiting For Everyone Else To Get Their Custard
Just like normal ice cream, custard melts. Don’t get too angry when you’re the last person to order and everyone else is finished before you’re served.
12. Fearing The Deer
Only visiting basketball teams have to “fear the deer.” Wisconsinites will never have anything but love for the Milwaukee Bucks.
13. Attending A Subpar Tailgate
Buy tickets to any sports game in Wisconsin and you’ll be convinced, this state does tailgating better than any other place in the country. Typically full of friends, beers, and brats, no Wisconsinite wants to waste their pre-game warm-up being bored.
14. Counting Calories
With all of the deliciously awesome and unique foods that this state has to offer, trying to watch your waistline here can get pretty difficult. You might as well just stuff face with as many tasty things as you can find.
15. Explaining The Rules Of Cornhole To A Newbie
It’s simple — you take turns tossing bags filled with corn onto a board that’s got a hole on it earning one point for a toss that sticks on top and three points for a tossed bag that falls through the aforementioned hole.
16. Drinking A Mediocre Old Fashioned
If it’s not made with Brandy, it’s not a real Old Fashioned in Wisconsin. Trying to explain the difference to a confused bartender can become quite the hassle.
17. Polka Music Haters
Everyone in Wisconsin might not be rocking out when polka comes through the speakers, but every Wisconsinite has a soft spot for this genre thanks to its rich local history. If someone is caught knocking it too hard during a spontaneous curbside performance, they’re gonna have a bad time.
18. Driving More Than 30 Minutes To Get To An Awesome Lake
Minnesota might be known as the “Land of 10,000 Lakes,” but Wisconsin has their total easily beat. With over 15,000 documented lakes in the Badger State, getting wet around here is never too difficult.
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19. Listening To Complaints About The Bugs
There’s a ton of water here and a warm summer, meaning certain times of the year the bugs flock in swarms. Just hope the bug spray helps and know that everyone else you’re with is going through the exact same struggle that you are.
20. Waiting For The Win To Party
While most people wait until after their teams seals the victory to celebrate, Wisconsinites start celebrating hours before the clock starts ticking, throughout the entire competition, and then late into the night afterwards, regardless of the outcome. Win or lose, at least it’s a good time.
21. People Running Late To The Weekly Fish Fry
Never get between a Wisconsinite and freshly fried fish. Once the oil spots boiling, it’s game time. This is one instance where the phrase “if you snooze you lose” definitely applies.
22. The Late Night Line At Ian’s
Famous for serving drunks crazy types of pizza into the wee hours of the night, there’s nothing worse than getting to Ian’s with a huge group only to realize you’ll have to wait behind tons of other people before you can get your favorite slice. Fortunately, it’s worth it…every, single time.
23. The Packer’s Season Ticket List
At times it can seem like nearly every Wisconsinite would love a shot at season tickets for the Packers, but unfortunately they literally might not have time to wait for their name to come up. With over 81,000 names on the waiting list, ticket wait times take an average of 30 years.
24. Finding The Closest TYME Machine
To clear the air for those confused, a TYME machine is a type of ATM in Wisconsin, not something that will take you to another era…and there’s nothing worse than needing cash and not knowing where the closest one is.
25. Trying Every Bar In The State
With over 3,000 bars in the state, one’s liver probably couldn’t last long enough for someone to give them all the good ole college try.
26. Justifying How Awesome Wisconsin Is To Outsiders
It’s hard to understand how awesome living in Wisconsin is until you try it out for yourself. Outsiders will never really get it. To them it will always be some cold state full of cows somewhere in the Midwest. But at least that helps keep the tourists out.
Did we miss anything? Tell us the biggest waste of someone from Wisconsin’s time in the comments below!
