1. Explaining That It’s Called Rhode Island Because There Are Actual Islands
No, the name isn’t totally nonsensical. Where do people think the city of Newport is anyway?
2. Someone Asks For A Microscope While Searching For Your State On A Map
Come on! It’s tiny, but it’s not that tiny.
3. Taking Your First Cross Country Road Trip
For most people, their first cross-country road trip is an exciting adventure. For Rhode Islanders it’s basically a never ending string of, “Are we there yet?” and, “What do you mean we’re still in Pennsylvania? It’s been six hours!”
4. Stopping After One Awful Awful So You Don’t Feel Awful Awful Awful
Just enough of this delicious treat from Newport Creamery and you feel Awesome Awesome. Too much, and disaster strikes. It’s a fine line.
5. The Serious Addiction To Coffee Milk
It goes so much further than just an addiction to caffeine. That sugary sweet syrup has you totally hooked.
6. Not To Mention Coffee Cabinets
How could coffee syrup be even better? If you add ice cream to it instead of milk, obviously. Whoever created coffee cabinets clearly didn’t care that you’d have serious cravings every day for the rest of your life.
7. Getting Stuck Driving Near Someone From Massachusetts
Are Rhode Islanders excellent drivers? No. But you know who’s even worse? Literally everyone from Massachusetts.
8. Explaining That The New York System Is A Rhode Island Food
Rhode Islanders are so tired of explaining that even though New York is in the name, these delicious hot wieners (stop laughing) with celery salt, are totally a Rhode Island treat.
And that’s ESPECIALLY the case if they’re from the Olneyville New York System Restaurant.
9. Your Accent Totally Confuses Everyone
No one will ever be able to tell exactly where you’re from, but they’ll give it their best guess anyway. Just try not to laugh when someone asks if you’re from Boston.
10. When You Ask For Johnnycakes And Someone Gives You Pancakes Instead
And no, they are definitely not the same thing. Do people put white corn meal in the clearly inferior pancakes? No? Didn’t think so.
11. When You Fall Into A Pothole So Big You Require A Tow Truck
Rhode Island potholes cannot be rivaled. They’re so big, it’s almost impressive at this point. Or…well…it would be impressive if you didn’t have to pay for new car parts every time you drove over one.
12. Knowing You Can’t Live Entirely On Clam Cakes But Trying Anyway
Some part of your brain knows it’s just physically impossible to survive solely on clam cakes in terms of nutrients, but they’re just too good to not try for a couple weeks anyway.
13. When You Try To Order Red Sox Merchandise And It’s All For Boston
Come on! Where is all the love for the Pawtucket Red Sox? PawSox for life!
14. You’re Just Not That Into Family Guy
Yes, okay, if it weren’t for Seth MacFarlane and Family Guy you don’t know when you’d even see Rhode Island on TV. But what if it’s just not the kind of comedy that appeals to you? Is that so wrong?
15. Ordering Chowder And Getting Manhattan Style “Chowder” Instead
Red broth? Really? Maybe you could settle for creamy broth, though of course you’d prefer clear, but everyone knows Manhattan style is the worst.
16. You Go Out To Dance And Pauly D Shows Up
Get outta here, Pauly D. New Jersey can have you.
17. Yet You’ve Never Had A Viola Davis Sighting
Why is it the Rhode Islanders you actually want to see are never there? The world is a cruel and unfair place apparently.
18. When Your Roommate Eats The Last Doughboy You Were Saving For Later
Stealing your delicious sugary fried treat is the greatest betrayal of all. It’s so much worse than all the times they let the dishes sit in the sink for six weeks or invited their weird cousin to crash on the couch.
19. Explaining Your Love Of Coffee Milk Stout To Craft Beer Snobs
Is Narragansett Autocrat Coffee Milk Stout the highest quality beer you can find? Maybe not. It’s not fancy stuff, but it is the stuff your Rhode Island taste buds have been waiting for your whole life. No shame necessary.
20. When You Travel Out Of State And Try To Order Your Coffee Extra Extra
No…extra extra doesn’t mean extra, extra large, but thanks for the gigantic cup of plain coffee anyway.
21. Fighting Over The Last Party Pizza
Even worse: when fighting over the last party pizza strip causes the actual party to fall apart.
22. When You Lose Your Car For An Entire Week Because It’s Covered In Snow
You can try the car alarm if you’re ready for some digging, but sometimes the best thing to do is just wait for the snow to melt.
23. Fall Colors Almost Cause You To Drive Off The Road
At this point you know better. You’ll never make it anywhere on time in the fall, because you just have to stop your car and stare at the changing trees too often.
Plus, plenty of out-of-towners turn a normal drive into an obstacle course.
24. The Jealousy When Your Friend Inherits A Low Number License Plate
Seriously?! You’ve been searching for a low number plate for years and people just have them handed to them.
25. When You Order A Stuffie And Someone Asks For A Bite
Relationships have probably been ruined over this. Do you tell your significant other to order their own or do you give in and have one less bite of deliciousness for yourself? It’s a difficult choice.
26. Trying To Avoid Your Ex In The Smallest State In The US
Rhode Island’s size isn’t usually a problem…until the moment you don’t want to run into someone, which is inevitably when you’ll start seeing them everywhere.
27. The First Nice Day Of Summer…And There’s No Room Left On The Beach
Rhode Island beaches are pretty gorgeous places year-round, but on the first really hot day of summer it’s impossible to find one that isn’t totally packed.
28. When You Have A D’Angelo’s Craving And They’re Already Closed
And this is why it’s always important to have an extra D’Angelo’s sandwich in the fridge at all times. Lesson learned.
29. When Your Del’s Frozen Lemonade Melts Before You Can Drink It All
Just kidding. No Rhode Islander has ever had that particular problem, because it’s basically impossible not to finish your entire cup in five minutes flat.
Know the struggles of living in Rhode Island too well? Tell us about it in the comments below!
