1. Other Places Will Seem Way, Way Too Expensive
With a cost of living that’s 14% lower than the national average, everything from renting an apartment to buying a cup of coffee will have you defensively clutching your wallet.
2. Lesser Bourbons Will Never Hold Up
You’re used to the best, and once you’ve tasted the best you can never go back.
3. You’ve Always Been A Few Hours Away From Every Kind Of Gorgeous Scenery
From rolling hills and mountains, to flat farmlands and big blue sky, Kentucky has the best of both worlds with just a quick drive.
4. There’s Regular Friendly And Then There’s Kentucky-Friendly
And unfortunately that Kentucky kind of friendliness you’ve come to know and love is considered totally weird in metaphorically icier states.
5. Your Grippo’s Addiction Is Incurable
Are we sure it’s just BBQ they’re putting in those delicious chips?
6. And So Is That Ale-8 Addiction
Maybe it’s the extra caffeine, or maybe it’s the yummy ginger flavor. It doesn’t matter why. You just have to have it and, when you live in Kentucky, you get to have it whenever you want.
7. You’ll Never Find A Love Truer Or Bluer Than Your Love For The Wildcats
The Kentucky Wildcats taught you everything you know about devotion, forgiveness, and loyalty to the Big Blue Nation. You can’t learn those lessons just anywhere.
8. All Other Pies Pale In Comparison
Between Transparent Pie and Derby Pie, Kentuckians don’t know how good they have it.
9. You’re Forever Unimpressed By The New DIY/Crafting Trend
Oh, you have a Pinterest? Cute. Well, Kentucky’s been doing this whole artisan and craftsman thing forever, but I guess what you’re doing with mason jars is cool.
10. You Know The Real Saying: A Biscuit A Day Keeps The Doctor Away
Kentucky biscuits might not do anything for your physical health, but they definitely treat the soul.
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11. ONLY Kentucky Does Horse Racing Right
It’s only marginally about the actual race. It’s much more about mint juleps and ridiculous (but awesome) hats. And, trust me, every other state is jealous about this one.
12. You Can Hear Bad Bluegrass Music Coming From A Mile Away
It’s like you have the ears of a dog if dogs were total bluegrass snobs.
13. You’re The Only One Who Knows The Best Secret Ingredient For Chili
Noodles, duh. Why would you eat chili without noodles?
14. You Know How To Take It Nice And Slow
Why does everyone feel the need to run around like chickens with their heads cut off anyway? Kentucky might move at a slower pace, but what’s wrong with that?
15. But You Also Naturally Know How To Have A Good Time
Convincing someone to put their iPhone down for five seconds to go four-wheeling or, if you want to mess with their head, snipe hunting, is no easy task outside the Bluegrass State. We know how to grab life by the horns here.
16. Gas Station Food Means A Delicious Country Ham Sandwich
Not mysterious hotdogs that have been slowly rotating under a lamp for the past five hours.
17. The Red River Gorge Was Your Playground
And trying to find another playground that compares to that is just downright impossible.
18. You’re Very Particular About Pronunciation
The third time you correct someone when they mispronounce Louisville, they might start to get a little testy.
19. You Can Pick And Eat Your Dessert Right Off The Vine
Nothing beats a handful of fresh-picked ripe Kentucky blackberries.
20. You’ll Refuse To Drink Subpar Sweet Tea
There’s a right way and a wrong way to make it. The right way definitely isn’t to add sugar in after it’s cold. That’s not pretentious. It’s just having taste.
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21. Wasting Food Makes You Cringe
Why throw it away when you can just throw it in a pot of burgoo?
22. You’ve Helped Raise The Bar For Yard Sales
When you’re used to the 400 Mile Sale, a few pieces of furniture and junk from someone’s basement just isn’t appealing anymore.
23. Hunting Season Is Enough Reason For A Holiday
You’ve never had to be sick to call into work during hunting season.
24. Trip And You’ll Land On A Historic Landmark
Some states call something a historical site if it was built in the frickin’ 1970’s. Not Kentucky. This state is like one big history class that’s actually interesting enough not to fall asleep in.
25. No Matter Where You Go, “My Old Kentucky Home” Will Beckon You Back
That song is just going to be permanently ingrained in your mind forever.
26. You Are A Total BBQ Snob
Sure, every Southern state loves to argue that their BBQ is the best, but mutton BBQ is just better.
27. Comfort Food Doesn’t Get Better Than A Hot Brown
Gross sounding name, but the perfect delicious dish to make you feel better no matter what’s going on all the same.
Did we miss anything? Tell us how Kentucky ruins you for your life in the comments below!
