22 Maps Of Detroit You’ll Want To See Before You Commit A Crime

1. If you are unemployed and living in Detroit…

2. … you may want to go to one of these places to get a loan.

3. Of course, it would help to have graduated from college…

4. … or at least from high school.

5. However, even if you graduated from a Detroit school, it may not be open anymore.

6. But in the end, you may be desperate enough to turn to theft in one of these areas.

7. Although, you might be better off robbing one of the wealthier neighborhoods.

8. If you are planning the crime with a team, it will help to know the neighborhood’s name.

9. When you’re done, it would be pretty easy for you to hide out in one of these ruins.

10. In fact, you could probably find a vacant home anywhere given the low population density.

11. Just be sure to steer clear of the previous murder locations because they’re probably more heavily patrolled by police.

12. If you get hungry after the crime, some of these fast food restaurants are bound to be 24-hour joints.

13. But if you’re a healthy sort of criminal, Detroit has you covered better than you might have guessed.

14. And if you really want to make the whole thing more exciting, you can try making your getaway on a bike.

15. If your crime proves successful, here is where you can get a new house or apartment.

16. And you can blend in with the working populations of the city (Even though many of those that work in Detroit live outside the city).

17. Or you can try to hang out with either the people who look just like you…

(Red dots are Caucasian residents in Metro Detroit, blue dots are black residents, and orange are Hispanic)

18. … or with the people who just got here and won’t be able to recognize you.

19. But, if you really want to blend in with Detroiters in any part of the city, just make sure to vote for a Democrat. Otherwise, folks will assume you live in the suburbs.

20. Unfortunately, once you commit a crime and people get wind of it, they may try to leave…

21. … which has been a major problem in recent years.

22. So just remember, crime in Detroit is not a game, no matter how many times Blinky, Inky, Pinky and Clyde hide from Pac Man in Detroit’s 1st police precinct.