1. Everyone Will Ask You About The Rain
And you’ll get really tired of answering. “Yes, it drizzles all the time. No, it’s not depressing. Yes, you get used to it.” On and on like that forever.
2. Some People Actually Carry Umbrellas
Yes, they’re totally useless and scrunching up your face and putting up your hood is the way to go, but don’t try to convince anyone else of that fact.
3. Someone Will Play “Smells Like Teen Spirit” On A First Date With You
Of course it’s the worst possible move, but they’re going to think it’s super suave, and you’ll have to let them down easy as you make your way back out the door.
4. The Sun…It Burns
Be prepared for some massive sunburns once you leave. You can’t count on every day being overcast to protect your sensitive skin anymore.
5. Once A Seahawks Fan, Always A Seahawks Fan
It doesn’t matter where you go. Your deep, passionate love for the Seahawks will follow you.
6. The World Is Full Of Shiny Happy People
It can be a little jarring (read: super creepy) if you’re from the blunt, down-to-business city of Seattle. You’ll suffer the biggest culture shock in the Midwest.
7. And Everyone Will Think You’re Mean And Grumpy (At Least At First)
Of course, once they get to know you they’ll appreciate your straightforwardness and dry sense of humor. But it never hurts to plaster on a big fake smile just to fit in with the crowd sometimes.
8. No One Does Hot Dogs Better Than Seattle
It’s the missing cream cheese. Other cities might add jalapenos—even cabbage if you’re lucky—but they don’t quite understand how to make the perfect Seattle Dog.
9. Frozen Salmon Is An Abomination…That People Actually Eat
Oh, long gone are the days when you could find salmon that had been caught that morning and plate it by lunchtime. It’s totally okay to mourn those days.
10. In Fact, Any Seafood Is A Sad Imitation Of What You’re Used To
Just try finding a decent Dungeness crab or fresh shucked oysters of the same quality and low price you’re used to, and you will be sorely disappointed.
11. Everyone Is Irrationally Scared Of Volcanoes
What, you mean those pretty things in the distance that make every view a thousand times more beautiful? What’s there to fear?
12. You’ll Have To Go To SeaWorld If You Want To See Orcas
No more relaxing trips to the San Juan Islands for whale watching. It’s all paid admission and guilt-trip visions of Blackfish dancing in your head from here on out.
13. Usually Public Trains Go In More Than One Direction
Yep, that’s right. Multiple tracks that branch off into multiple parts of the city. It’s like a public transportation miracle.
14. Minimum Wage Is Seriously Minimal
It’s not generally $15 dollars an hour like in Seattle. With the federal minimum at $7.25, you’ll look back on Seattle minimum wage fondly. Being able to buy food and clothing and pay rent on a tiny apartment…man, those were the days.
15. You Were Totally Misguided Every Time You Complained About Heat
Remember all those sweltering August days in Seattle where you sighed and said, “It’s just way too hot!” It wasn’t hot. Your understanding of the word “hot” will completely change once you have a real sweltering day to compare to Seattle summer days.
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16. Try Not To Laugh When Someone Says They Want To Move To Portland
Because that’s a thing now…for some reason. (Hint: The reason is Portlandia.) But they’re not joking when they say this, and only other Seattleites will appreciate how funny it is.
17. You’ll Own More Flannel Than Anyone Else
Even if you don’t think you own a lot of flannel, it’s because you’re measuring by Seattle standards. You own a lot of flannel.
18. Chickens Are Not The Average Pet
Cats, dogs, even birds or bunnies…sure. But not everyone shares Seattle’s practical love of the backyard chicken coop, and it may be tough to convince a landlord on the basis that super fresh eggs are really tasty.
19. Sometimes Construction Projects End
As hard as it may be to believe, new condos are not constantly being built everywhere all the time.
20. Other Cities Are Just Big Concrete Jungles
You won’t find all the gorgeous parks and community gardens that fill the city of Seattle in most other major cities.
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21. You’ll Have Late Night Cravings For Dick’s Drive-In Burgers
A trip to McDonalds just can’t satisfy the craving the same way a Deluxe from Dick’s would.
22. Cars Rule The Roads
If only every city could be as cyclist-friendly as Seattle. Alas, you’ll just have to learn how to expertly dodge aggressive SUVs.
23. You’ll Miss Weekend Mornings At Pike Place Market
Because honestly, no other farmers market will ever truly compare.
24. There’s Still A Starbucks On Every Corner
Although, sadly, not every city has Storyville or Analog Coffee.
25. Some Police Still Care About Marijuana
Why? Who knows? Maybe they’re just really bored outside Seattle. And no, you can’t just walk into a store and buy it anymore.
26. The Housing Prices Will Make You Cry Tears Of Joy
Unless you move to one of the few equally overpriced cities, the first time you pay rent or buy a home somewhere else will feel like you got away with murder.
27. Most Cities Don’t Shut Down At The First Sign Of Flurries
In Seattle, even the tiniest bit of snow means one thing: snow day! It’s time to dig out the sled, or catch up on your Netflix queue. Everywhere else it means something else: shoveling your car out of the driveway before heading off to work.
28. The First Breakup Without Molly Moon’s Is A Thousand Times Harder
Actually, life in general without that mouth-watering homemade ice cream is just a thousand times harder. The world is a cold place…and not in the pleasant ice cream cold kind of way.
29. No Art Museum Will Ever Compare To SAM
Sure, there are bigger art museums out there…but not many. And if we’re talking quality and not just quantity, the Seattle Art Museum cannot be beat.
30. It’s An iPhone World And You’re Just Living In It
On the bright side, no one will ever try to jack that fancy brand new Windows phone you just bought as long as you’re outside of Seattle.
What do you miss about Seattle? Tell us in the comments below!
