1. Everyone Else Runs On Starbucks
Sure, you’ll still be able to find your beloved Dunkin’ Donuts in most places, but there are actually people who prefer Starbucks. They’re the same people who like paying more for less.
2. If You Want A Frappe, You’ll Have To Order A Milkshake
It will feel so wrong, but it’s the only way to get them to make what you want. Otherwise, you might up end up drinking a Frappuccino.
3. People Don’t Get That Masshole Isn’t An Insult
Uh, why would someone pointing out that you’re a totally tough and cool person from an awesome state be an insult?
4. Everyone Thinks They Can Do A Boston Accent
But no one actually can. If you want to be simultaneously annoyed and amused, just ask someone who’s never lived in Boston to do their best Mark Wahlberg impression.
5. No One Knows How To Deal With A Little Snow
You’ll spend most of your first winter wondering why everyone stays inside when there’s a blizzard. It’s just a little blizzard. It’s never stopped you before.
6. Everyone Else’s St. Patrick’s Day Celebrations Are Severely Lame
Sure, Chicago and New York like to think their parades are the best too, but Bay Staters know the best parade is and always has been in Boston.
7. You’ll Never Find Better Lobstah Rolls
Massachusetts is the best place in the world to eat any kind of lobster, hands down. Be prepared to go through the most serious lobster roll withdrawals ever if you leave.
8. And People Actually Like Manhattan Clam Chowder
You’ll never realize how good you had it until you go to dinner with a bunch of people who rave about some nasty tomato filled chowder.
9. You’re Bringing Wicked Back
Sure, no one has really used wicked as slang outside Massachusetts in a few decades, but that doesn’t mean you can’t bring it back. You’re wicked awesome, after all.
10. Everyone Will Automatically Assume You’re From Boston
And even if you’re from Western Massachusetts, they’ll ask you, “Oh…well how close is that to Boston?”
11. And A Regular Coffee Comes Without The Cream And Sugar
Regular means black coffee everywhere else. It can really only be attributed to poor taste.
12. Massachusetts Vocabulary Is A Little More Colorful Than Everywhere Else
If you’re from Massachusetts, then chances are you know every four-letter word and every possible way to combine them. Everyone else isn’t quite as… creative.
13. Bay Staters Are Totally Spoiled When It Comes To Sports
Between The Patriots, The Sox, The Bruins, and The Celtics, Massachusetts sports fans have never had to root for a bad team in their life.
14. When You Order Sprinkles, You Have To Specify Which Kind
If you want the chocolate kind on top of your ice cream, ordering jimmies will only confuse people. Language just is way less efficient outside the Bay State.
15. Not Everyone Will Understand Your Deep Abiding Love Of Tom Brady
It’s just your job to make them realize he’s basically a saint and the greatest person to ever walk the Earth.
16. People Will Think Your Packed Lunch Is Really Weird
But it’s okay, because you know fluffernutter sandwiches are delicious, and definitely not just for kids. Enjoy your boring turkey sandwich for the fifth time this week, haters.
17. You Just Became The Most Aggressive Driver On The Road
All that honking, turning without a signal, and shouting at people with Rhode Island license plates just helped you fit in when you lived in Massachusetts.
18. There Is No Replacement For Brigham’s Ice Cream
The first breakup after leaving Massachusetts is seriously rough.
19. Same Goes For Dorothy Cox Chocolates
Seriously, how is anyone supposed to get over heartbreak without a box of these to sob over?
20. Every Out-Of-Stater Went On A Summer Trip To Cape Cod
And if you’re from the Cape you’ll want really badly to scream, “You’re part of the problem!” at them as they talk about how nice their vacation was.
21. People Will Ask If You Know Matt And Ben
It’s always best to just nod earnestly and say, “They’re my bros.”
22. You’ll Realize You Were Living In A Beautiful Liberal Bubble
Massachusetts is super blue compared the rest of the more divided country. It’s a place where people can be themselves without fear of consequence, which unfortunately isn’t true everywhere.
23. It’s Now Your Responsibility To Teach High School History
Everyone apparently fell asleep in class, because no one seems to realize how wicked awesome Massachusetts’ role in their country’s history actually was.
24. The Wariness Around Yankees Fans Never Goes Away
You can take the Bay Stater out of Massachusetts, but they’ll never ever stop shaming people who like that team.
25. Most Places Where Sonic Advertises Actually Have A Sonic Nearby
No more two hour road trips just to grab some “fast” food!
26. Bay Staters Are The Best Bowlers Ever
If you leave Massachusetts, you will forever be the first pick for any bowling team because everyone else plays a watered down children’s version of candlepin.
27. Spring In Massachusetts Is The Best Spring Anywhere
Maybe it’s because you appreciate it more when you survive a long snowy winter, but there’s something about seeing all the tulips bloom on a nice spring day that is just more rewarding in Massachusetts than anywhere else.
28. On The Plus Side, You Can Put The Ice Scraper Away
Sure, Massachusetts spring is awesome, but at least in most other places when spring comes it’s there to stay.
29. You Didn’t Shop Enough During That Tax Free Weekend
Sure, you shopped more in that one weekend than you did during the rest of the year, but it still wasn’t enough. Once you have to do without it, you’ll realize you should’ve bought just a few more things.
30. People Seriously Need A Spelling Lesson
The amount of times you’ll see Massachusetts spelled with extra letters, or not enough letters, or just completely butchered in unfathomable ways will drive you up a wall.
What do you miss about Massachusetts? Tell us in the comments below!
