1. Oh, You’re From New York? Then New Jersey Has No Time For You
New Yorkers have a reputation for thinking they’re better than New Jerseyans. Sorry, New York. It’s just not true.
2. Jersey Has No Time For NY Pizza, Either
New York gets all the credit for having the best pizza, even though New Jersey has waaaaaay better pizza than New York. Hands down. No doubt.
3. News Flash: New Jerseyans Don’t Want To Talk About Chris Christie
Whether you love him or you hate him, everyone’s tired of talking about him.
4. Devils Fans Have No Time For The Flyers Fans, And Vice Versa
Jersey Devils fans have a really hard time understanding why anyone would root for a non-Jersey hockey team, like the Flyers, if you could just route for the Devils. It’s a good question…
5. Whether You Root For The Eagles or The Giants, You Won’t Have Time For One Another
Enough of the Jersey population lives close enough to Pennsylvania or New York that they end up being die hard fans for the football teams of New York and Philadelphia. But regardless of who you root for, you have little to no time for fans that root against your team.
6. No One Has Time For People Who Don’t Have EZPass
Why, and I mean why, would you live in Jersey and not have an EZPass? Are you just trying to make your life harder for yourself?
7. And No One Has Time To Pump Their Own Gas
It’s so much faster this way…
8. It’s Not Really Breakfast Without Taylor Ham
If you don’t put Taylor Ham on a New Jerseyan’s breakfast, they probably won’t make time to have breakfast with you again.
9. Don’t Bring Up Snooki: New Jerseyans Won’t Give You The Time Of Day
Snooki does not represent Jersey. She’s not even from here.
10. And New Jerseyans Have No Time For People Who Don’t Appreciate Going Down The Shore
The Jersey Shore (NOT the TV show but the actual Jersey Shore) is one of the most beautiful places in America. If all you have to say when talking about going down the shore is some joke about Snooki, then New Jerseyans will have zero time for you.
11. Guidos, AKA Staten Islanders
Everyone needs to know that the “guido” stereotype, which always gets appropriated to Jersey (Thanks Pauly D), is actually a Staten Island stereotype. NOT Jersey.
12. New Jerseyans Have No Time For Jokes About Meatheads
Newsflash, people: Jersey if filled with smart, educated, talented people. We have the most engineers, we’re home to schools like Princeton, and we have some of the best high schools in the country. Get your facts straight.
13. Jersey Has No Time For Questions About The Mob
Yes, “The Sopranos” was filmed here. No, we’re not all in the mob. Though we do like ourselves some homemade Italian cooking…
14. New Jerseyans Have No Time For Bennies
New Yorkers who populate Jersey beaches in the summer = horrible.
15. And Definitely No Time For Shoebies
Philadelphians who populate Jersey beaches in the summer = worse than horrible.
16. If You Say “Joisey”, No One Will Ever Talk To You Again
No one, and I repeat no one, in Jersey calls it “New Joisey”. If you pronounce it like this, you are dead to a New Jerseyan.
17. Jersey has No Time For Mediocre Diners
New Jersey has the best diners in the entire United States. So, naturally, New Jerseyans have no time for anything less than perfection when it comes to diners.
18. Reminding People That Jersey Is Called The Garden State For A Reason
People who say that Jersey is the armpit of America must’ve forgotten that this state is called the Garden State for a reason. With so many gardens and farmland, it’s pretty ridiculous that anyone could think it’s anything less than stunning.
19. New Jersey Has Zero Time For Springsteen Haters
Bruce Springsteen = incredible. You don’t hate on Springsteen. All Jerseyans could sing you “Jersey Girl” start to finish if you asked them.
20. New Jerseyans Have Very Little Time For Atlantic City Bachelorette Parties
Don’t get me wrong—Jerseyans love Atlantic City. Just not the out-of-state bachelorettes who frequent the area and act like they own the place.
21. Jersey Has No Time For People Who Don’t Believe In The Jersey Devil
If you don’t believe in a good old fashioned cryptid story, you’re just not going to fit in.
22. If You Don’t Know What Jughandle Is, Then Don’t Drive Here
New Jerseyans do not have time to explain to you what a jughandle is. Just learn it, or leave.
23. Amusement Parks That Aren’t Great Adventure Aren’t Worth The Time
Why would you ever go anywhere else when you have Great Adventure?
24. New Jerseyans Have No Time For People Who Haven’t Seen “Clerks”
How can you not have seen “Clerks”? Sheesh.
25. NJ Has No Time For Jersey Haters
New Jersey has some of the proudest people in the country. Everyone here is proud to be from here and if you’re gonna hate on Jersey, Jersey’s gonna hate on you.
