1. The First Thing People Will Ask Is, “Oh, D.C.?”
And you will need the patience of a saint to smile and shake your head and say, “No, the state,” seven billion times.
2. The Second Thing People Will Ask Is, “Oh, Seattle?”
If you’re not from Seattle, good luck not pulling your hair out.
3. The Craft Beer Selection Outside Washington Is A Travesty
Not every state is blessed with almost 200 craft breweries. Fortunately, the trend has caught on in other states, but you’ll still miss being able to try a new brew every day of the year.
4. No One Has A Caffeine Addiction Worse Than A Washingtonian
But when you tell people Starbucks was invented in your state, they might understand.
5. People Actually Eat Frozen Fish And Pretend To Like It
Everyone from Washington is what the rest of the country considers total fish snobs. It’s not your fault you were raised on the freshest salmon and Dungeness crab ever!
6. And Most People Think There’s Only One Kind Of Salmon
Seriously, some underdeveloped palates can’t even distinguish between Sockeye, Coho, or Chinook.
7. Giving Directions Is A Little Harder Without Mountains
You’ll long for the days you could just point someone in the right direction by saying it was “Toward Mount Rainier.”
8. Try Not To Laugh When People Try To Pronounce Washington Town Names
To be fair, Issaquah, Puyallup, and Sequim don’t exactly roll off the tongue if you’re not used to saying it.
9. Everyone Asks Ex-Washingtonians If They Left Because Of All The Rain
If you’re from the wet side, that will make you miss all the rain. If you’re from the dry side, you’ll just be left scratching your head.
10. A Former Washingtonian Never Stops Following The Seahawks
No matter how good your new local team is, the Seahawks will always be better in your eyes, and hold that number one place in your heart.
Plus, what else are you supposed to do with all that blue and neon green?
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11. Everyone Assumes People From Vancouver Are Canadian
Just shout, “We were here first!” and storm off after a few of these.
12. An Ex-Washingtonian Will Never Find Better Hiking Spots
No matter how hard you try to find something that compares to the Snoqualmie National Forest or Olympic National Park, you will fail.
13. Or Better Ski Slopes
Leaving Mount Baker’s beautiful snowy slopes may be one of the hardest things of all.
14. In Fact, Most People Spend Their Weekends In Front Of The TV
See above hiking and skiing spot problem. Odds are your new friends won’t be as enthusiastic about joining you on that kayaking trip you have planned.
15. Washingtonians Are The Frequent Victims Of Hipster Jokes
It doesn’t matter how many times you explain that the whole state isn’t actually full of hipsters or point people toward Portland instead, everyone else will keep insisting Washington is full of waxed mustaches and PBR.
16. Your Dog Is Not Welcome Everywhere Anymore
Yes, it’s your fur-baby. No, it can’t come into the brewery with you anymore. Sorry, people just actually care about that everywhere else.
17. No One Knows What Cascadia Is
And when you tell them the Pacific Northwest should totally secede from the US, people will look at you like you’re totally nuts.
18. Everyone Thinks The Entire State Is A Hippie Liberal Utopia
You’ll have to explain that Washington is just about as divided as the rest of the country when it comes to politics.
19. Former Washingtonians Constantly Have To Remind People That Seattle Isn’t The Capital
Yes, it’s Olympia. No, that’s not weird. There are other cities in Washington, you know.
20. Washingtonians’ Flannel Collections Will Start To Seem Ridiculously Large
New friends and acquaintances may even give you a catchy nickname like, “that flannel guy.”
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21. Washington Has A Totally Different Idea Of What Formal Means
Unfortunately you can’t just pull out your nice jeans and a clean North Face jacket anymore. People actually expect a fancy suit or dress.
22. People Actually Care About No Shave November
Unlike in Washington, where it’s just like No Shave Ever.
23. Ex-Washingtonians Are Free To Finally Buy An Umbrella
Umbrellas in Washington rain are basically useless since the sky just kind of spits on your face, but everywhere else has less misty rain and you won’t look like a total tourist.
24. Sometimes People Think It’s Okay To Not Recycle
The first time you walk into someone’s house and ask where the recycling is and they say, “Just throw it in the trash,” is a bit of a culture shock.
25. Some People Are Actually Afraid Of Volcanoes
Whereas you just see them as beautiful geography that sometimes mean you have to wipe ash off your car windshield for a week.
26. Everyone Assumes Washingtonians Are Potheads
Which is, if you’re being totally honest, not entirely unfair.
27. Fresher Blueberries Can’t Be Found Outside Washington
Finding a decent U-Pick farm is about to be a serious struggle, and your pancakes will never taste quite as good.
28. Or Better Rainier Cherries
They’re basically just candy in fruit form, and you’ll start to crave them like crazy.
29. No One Will Share Washington’s Nostalgia For Wheedle
In fact, no one will really know who Wheedle is, no matter how many different ways you describe the big red loveable creature who hung out around the Space Needle.
30. Flying Home Will Never Look So Good
The view from a plane when you’re flying into Washington is truly unbeatable, as is the knowledge that you’re about to touch down in one seriously awesome state.
What do you miss about Washington? Tell us in the comments below!
