1. Isn’t Alabama All Backwoods?
Kind of. Once you get past all the pristine beaches and the cities and buildings, museums, science centers, art galleries, and towns…Yeah, there are some woods around.
2. But Aren’t The Beaches All Oil?
Yes, there’s oil everywhere. In fact, you probably shouldn’t come here. You would hate it.
3. So, I Guess You Really Like Football?
“Like?” One does not simply “like” football in Alabama. Football is a way of life for Alabamians. And when you hear “Roll Tide” it has nothing to do with laundry.
4. Why Alabama Doesn’t Have A Pro Football Team
Alabama is so busy cheering Roll Tide or War Eagle, there’s no time for that silly NFL stuff.
5. What’s With All The Houndstooth?
If you have to ask, you wouldn’t possibly understand. But it’s classy as heck, isn’t it?
6. Is Sweet Home Alabama The State Song?
Nope. A lot of people love it. A lot of people don’t. And there’s nothing official about it. But there’s always someone around excited to turn it up.
7. What’s Muscle Shoals And Why Do They Have The Swampers?
The Swampers are the heart of Alabama music and The Shoals is where some of the greatest music ever made gets made.
8. Isn’t Alabama Super Religious?
Well, yeah. A lot of it is. But don’t worry. The devil is too busy dealing with Northerners to worry about you.
9. Alabama Must Be Filled With So Many Uneducated Hillbillies
Ummm, does the acronym NASA mean anything to you? Alabama has more science in its pinky finger than most other states could only hope for. Does your state have a Rocket City? Did it help send Neil Armstrong to the moon?
10. Wait A Minute, Space Camp Is REAL?
Yep, Space Camp is real and it’s right here in Huntsville. But it’s not like every kid grows up in zero gravity environments. It costs a pretty penny to go. But those who get to are living the dream.
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11. Alabamians Aren’t Country, They’re Genteel
All those Southern charms – the good manners, respectable nature, sometimes backhanded politeness, and old fashioned traditions, that’s what makes Alabamians what they refer to as “genteel.” Not country.
12. Pork Is Actually An Anagram For Conecuh
If an Alabamian has cooked you up some sausage, you can bet good money that it’s Conecuh sausage.
13. Texas Doesn’t Have The Best Barbecue
Whoever told you such a ridiculous lie is no friend at all. Everyone knows that Alabama’s barbecue is where it’s at. And Archibald’s where you go to experience the real stuff with the locals, not the silly tourist stuff.
14. Are Those Biscuits Made From Real Cat Heads?
The Cat Head Biscuits? Yes, that’s really what they’re called. But fret not, no felines are harmed in the making of these doughy delights. The consensus seems to agree they’re called Cat Head Biscuits because they’re the approximate size of a cat’s head.
15. Biscuits Are Not Complete Without Sausage Gravy
The only proper kind of gravy to enjoy with those Cat Head Biscuits here in Alabama is sausage gravy. Don’t let anyone serve you anything different. And seriously, it tastes better than it looks.
16. Bless Your Heart Isn’t So Much A Blessing
Chances are, you just got called an idiot without even realizing it.
17. Ha-Ha-Ha, Alabamians Can’t Drive In Snow – Good One!
Wait, no it’s not. It’s a tired old joke. Alabamians don’t need to apologize for not being masters of the snow. No one expects someone from Canada to know how to surf. Get over it.
18. No, Mardi Gras Started In Alabama, Not New Orleans
Okay, the Mardi Gras thing can’t be ignored so it makes its way on the list. Especially because it’s a little crazy that so many people still don’t realize that Mardi Gras first began and still thrives in Mobile.
19. What’s A Moon Pie?
It’s a chocolate covered marshmallow pie that are thrown off Mardi Gras floats along with beads and subsequently hoarded. A lot of people make a big deal out of them, but they’re not such a big deal outside of Mardi Gras.
20. You Talk On A Mo-Bull Phone, You Visit Mardi Gras In Mo-Beel
If you do go to the real Mardi Gras, know how to pronounce the city properly for the love of Moon Pies.
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21. Have You Ever Seen The Crichton Leprechaun?
What do you think? The chances are whoever you ask that question to has not seen the Crichton Leprechaun. And judging from that very detailed witness sketch, you won’t find anyone else who has either. And there are so many better urban legends and folk stories in Alabama’s history – why does it have to be that one?
22. Sure, Instant Grits Will Do…
…Is something you will never hear someone from Alabama say. Instant grits are not – I repeat, NOT – grits. They’re an abomination. Repent for your sins!
23. That Thing You’re Pushing At The Grocery Store Is Called A Buggy
That’s not a cart. That’s not a trolley. It’s a buggy. Now that we’ve cleared that up, you can proceed shopping.
24. No, There’s Nothing Wrong With That BBQ Sauce
It’s just white because it’s shocked from being so awesome. It’s a Northern Alabama thing. Don’t ask questions, just enjoy.
25. To Get A Dr. Pepper, You Order A Coke
Some people call it soda. Others around the country call it pop. Here in Alabama, it’s all Coke. You order a Coke and then you specify what kind of beverage you want.
26. Memphis Might Have Invented The Blues But Alabama Gave You The Way To Listen To Them
Just to add to the tally sheet of Alabama’s cool points is a reminder that vinyl was invented here in Alabama in the late 1800s, which went on to be used in the creation of records.
27. Talking About The Humidity Every Five Minutes Won’t Make It Go Away
Yes, it’s humid. Everyone knows. This is Alabama. What exactly were you expecting, a cool Arctic breeze?
28. Everything Tastes Better With Ranch
Ranch dress makes literally everything edible to Alabamians. But it better be homemade or Hidden Valley.
29. No, Your Accent Is Funny
It’s true. A lot of Alabamians have a Southern accent. Some thicker than others, some not at all. They say things like “reckon” and “yonder” and, above all, “y’all.” But if you think that sounds funny, you should hear how funny you sound.
30. Alabama Is So Boring
If you think Alabama doesn’t have anything to offer, then you haven’t been paying attention. There’s a serious passion and love for the game, NASA, Rocket City, Mardi Gras, gorgeous beaches, Southern hospitality, real music, and awesome food. You’ll find a crazy amount of unique folk art around the state as well as fun quirks that keep it all interesting. If you’re still unconvinced, then you weren’t invited anyway.
What have you had to explain to out-of-towners about Alabama? Tell us in the comments below!
