1. No One Will Understand Why You Get So Upset About Peanut Allergies
“It’s just so sad,” you’ll say between sobs. “No peanut soup… no peanut pie… no boiled peanuts… ever… ”
2. Hokie And Wahoo Sound Like Mean Nicknames To Non-Virginians
Maybe it’s because they sound funny. Or maybe it’s just because Hokies say Wahoo with such disdain, and vice versa.
3. Watching People Waste Crab Meat Is Actually Physically Painful
It is now your responsibility as a Virginian to teach everyone else how to properly crack open a crab.
4. Not Every Corner Store Carries Delicious Fried Pies
Sure, you’ll be able to find fried pies or make them yourself, but it’s the lack of convenience that will really drive you nuts. Even worse, people will insist on calling them turnovers.
5. No One Quite Gets Your Commonwealth Pride
6. Enjoy The Oysters While You Can
Fresh oysters are hard to come by in most parts of the country, and when you do go out to a nice oyster bar, they’ve usually been shipped in from Virginia and marked up anyway.
When someone asks what state you’re from and you answer, “the commonwealth of Virginia,” be prepared for some really strange looks.
7. You’ll Have To Explain The Difference Between Western and West Virginia
Not only are Virginians better at U.S. History than everyone else, they’re also better at geography. West Virginia is a different state.
8. Love For The Skinny Dip Will Make You Seem More Daring Than You Are
Just don’t tell anyone you’re talking about the best frozen yogurt ever and not jumping into a body of water while nude, and you’ll maintain your cool, wild persona.
9. Make An Orange Crush And You’ll Be The Life Of The Party
Just be careful, or you might end up getting a reputation as the best bartender ever and be stuck behind the kitchen counter at every future house party.
10. And Then You’ll Have To Explain Your Accent
“If you’re not from West Virginia, why do you have a southern accent?” Uh… gee… don’t know. Maybe because there’s a place called Southwest Virginia that’s still in Virginia.
11. If You’re From NOVA, You’ll Just Start Saying You’re From D.C.
They’ve never heard of the town you’re from, and it’s really just easier that way.
12. You’re A Total Wine Snob And You Didn’t Even Realize It
All those years surrounded by fantastic wineries and people who were also drinking amazing wine totally masked the fact that you were becoming a snob all along.
13. You’ll Know Way More About U.S. History Than Anyone Else
Between all those class trips to Williamsburg, Jamestown, and D.C., and the number of painfully bad but kind of funny historical reenactments Virginians have sat through, everyone else in the country comparatively seems really uninformed about their own history.
14. No One Will Understand Your Love Of Busch Gardens
Mostly because they’ll think you’re talking about a boring old garden, and when you mention how much you screamed while riding the Loch Ness Monster things will get confusing.
15. Oh Yeah, The Place With The Ham, Right?
You will hear this so many times you’ll swear your ears are going to bleed. I mean, yeah… Virginia has amazing Smithfield Ham. But it also has other non-ham things. Come on.
16. Beaches Are Never As Pristine As You’re Used To
Virginia Beach is pretty immaculately maintained compared to other beaches. You’ll yearn to be back in Virginia every time you step on a stray cigarette butt or just barely dodge a broken bottle.
17. Not Everyone In The World Has A Government Job
Virginians are so used to everyone around them being employed as a military pilot or by the State Department that it’s easy to forget not everyone works for the government.
18. And No One Has Suffered Through Awful Tourism Jobs Like Virginians
That story about how you wore colonial clothing in ninety degree heat in a stuffy gift shop without air conditioning all summer was terrible at the time, but it’s really going to be a hit anecdote outside Virginia.
19. The Best Way To Bore Someone Is To Talk About Mount Vernon
“Did you know George Washington’s house was made of pine covered in sand and paint to simulate stone because it was more cost effective?” is not the fun and interesting party anecdote it once was.
20. Handling A Musket Is Not A Common Skill
Virginians can out-gun-lover the most gun-loving gun lover. From the home of the NRA headquarters and you know how to shoot a colonial era musket? Instant major points in some circles.
21. You’ll Realize Just How Much Time And Money You Spent At Tysons
And then you’ll totally miss it anyway, because other malls just don’t compare.
22. Nothing Prepared You For Truly Bad Winters
Sure, Virginians complain about how terrible the winter weather is all the time, but let’s be honest—thirty three and drizzly is not the same thing as multiple feet of snow.
23. No Other Ice Cream Will Ever Compare To Carl’s
You’ll start to think about driving back just for a scoop of soft serve. After all, you’ve already spent hours of your life waiting for a scoop. What’s a few more?
24. The Meadows Of Dan Sounds Like A Fantasy Novel Setting
The names of real places in Virginia sound as foreign as if they came from Middle Earth to everyone else. Especially with names like Meadows of Dan and Isle of Wight.
25. Explaining The Appeal Of Mount Trashmore Is Hard
Only other Virginians will ever understand why you would want to go to a former landfill that still has trash in the name to enjoy a nice day outside.
26. You’ll Forever Laugh In The Face Of Lesser Humidity
Which, to be frank, is humidity basically anywhere other than Virginia.
27. Mountains, Cities, And Beaches Aren’t Always A Day Trip Away
Virginians are wonderfully spoiled when it comes to location. When you’re used to having it all, it can be kind of hard to adjust.
28. You’ll Never Stop Claiming Gabby Douglas As Somehow Related To You
Even if you no longer live in Virginia… you did. And so did Gabby Douglas. And nothing will ever sever your somewhat imagined beautiful connection to the best athlete in the world.
29. Antique Shopping Is Always Better In Virginia
Virginia knows how to do a good antique store. Virginia antique stores have chairs that Thomas Jefferson sat in. Other antique stores mostly carry expensive junk.
30. You’ll Miss The Virginia Flag (And All The Controversy That Surrounds It)
Virginia maybe has the coolest flag in the entire United States. A lady warrior stepping on a tyrant? Yeah… it’s definitely one of the best. But the most amusing thing about living in Virginia is always the silly controversy that surrounds it.
What do you miss most about Virginia? Tell us in the comments below!
