7 Moving Tips for Families with Young Children

Moving, for a child, can be like a game of “make believe.” The game is fun to play, but at some point, when your child “wakes up,” he or she might be surprised and a little scared in a place that’s not familiar, with not a single old friend to be found. That’s not the best way to introduce your child to his new home.  It doesn’t have to be that way, however, and we have some ideas that will make moving easier for a child and, ultimately, for you too.

It is said that the average American will move 11.4 times over the course of a lifetime. Hold that thought close. Our mobile society has changed the norm over the past generation or two. Moving has become the new normal.  Even for families who don’t face cross-country moves, it’s not uncommon to make multiple changes in housing.

Is there a good way to talk about moving?

Experts do not stipulate the best ways to talk about an upcoming move, but they are united about the recommendation to talk with your children, and to be honest about the reasons. Whether the move is the result of a job transfer, a relationship change such as divorce or marriage, financial need, the need to care for an aging parent, or simply a change of scenery, tell your child the basic reason. Depending on his age, maturity and curiosity, you can explain in depth, or simply say that “grandpa needs help so we’re moving closer to where he lives.” When discussing divorce or relationships, details may be unnecessary, but some form of reassurance can be vitally important.

Stress that a move does not mean being totally out of touch with friends. If it is true and logistically possible, stress that visits and vacations may provide chances to spend time with old friends and return to familiar surroundings. Chances are, in due time, even that need will wane.

If a child is under six, only broad information need be given. Perhaps the most vulnerable age range for a move is between the ages of about 8 and 14. Those are years when young people, particularly girls, develop close alliances and tend to react badly to change.

But, with honesty and understanding, you can overcome and often encourage enough interest to make the move bearable, if not exciting.

7 creative ideas to help make it better:

1. Draft the parents of your children’s friends. Especially if you have young children, getting them out of the house for even an hour or two as you pack and organize will help you keep your sanity. This is the time to have a play-date-party. Even an occasional overnight away from home can give you needed time to yourself.
2. Make sure every member of the family has a job: Even a toddler can pack up his own stuffed animals; older kids can pack book boxes; teens are responsible enough to gather up pet toys, feeding dishes and grooming supplies. Help them mark the boxes, however.
3. Have your children write a letter to the new owners: Have them tell about their favorite corners of the yard, or the good times they had with friends, or baking cookies for a birthday celebration. Let them talk about the funny noises the house makes, or how they’ll miss their friends in the neighborhood. Then leave the letters on the kitchen counter. New owners will be charmed, and the children will feel as if they’ve said goodbye to a well-loved friend.
4. Get a road map and chart the way to your new home. Even if it’s three states away. Talk to your children about the trip. Whether you’re driving or flying, going directly there or spending time along the way, talk about the journey, what they’ll see and what you’ll do as a family.
5. Try to do at least one fun thing, just for the kids, before you leave. It can be a movie night, or pizza on paper plates in the den. Just be together.
6. Pack a “Personal Box” for each child. It doesn’t have to be any larger than a shoe box, but it has to contain “their stuff.” Even if it’s a handful of rocks. Let them decorate the box and make sure they take it along.
7. Give in to tears. It’s okay to be sad. Have a good cry with the kids; get over it and move on. Let the new adventure begin!

Across Town or Across Country?

Major differences exist between a move to a new home in the same city and a move to an entirely new state. But in either case, you should try to find out as much as possible about your new neighborhood. If it’s a local move, plan excursions to visit the new school, a playground in your new neighborhood, or a dinner out at a new restaurant recommended by your realtor. If you’re building a new home, pack a lunch and plan a picnic on the slab, or take weekly pictures and start an album to record the progress. Obtain a floor plan of the house, and get some furniture templates, so that your daughter can arrange the furniture in her room. Have your children plan “personal gardens” in the backyard, or let them build “fairy houses” to install the moment you move in. If you can be present when a sidewalk or patio is installed, let them make hand prints in the wet concrete.

Involve your children as much as possible in the planning, and you’ll find that fear is replaced with excitement. Learn to laugh. At your kids, but especially with them.

If your move is across the country, allow each child a “goodbye” party for friends. Have it at your home, even if it takes place amid the packing boxes. Let your children remember the good times in the house, and help them to nurture those memories.

2 Point Highlight

Moving is the “new normal,” with the average American moving 11.4 times over the course of a lifetime.

While moving with children adds an extra layer of concern, with a little advance planning you can make it an “adventure” for everyone involved.