25 Reasons To Move To Salt Lake City

1. Free Concerts at Pioneer Park

During the summer, the Twilight Concert Series assembles bands popular enough to sell out giant venues– for free. And I am not talking Bieber. More like MGMT, Empire of the Sun, The Nationals, Ludacris… All you have to do is get in line a year ago.

2. We Got Your Job Right Here

Tech businesses go here to blow up. Adobe and the peeping-tom-NSA just opened up shop, and the unemployment rate is way below average. So, if you can’t get a job here…

3. The Mountains Are Your Neighbor

You’re surrounded by them. They serve two main functions: being gorgeous and blocking tornadoes. No SHARKNADO here.

4. Every Other State’s Snow Might as Well be Yellow

Some magical combination of density and moisture makes Utah snow the absolute best if you ski, snowboard, or throw snowballs for a living. Speaking of…

5. Skiing and Snowboarding Wonderland

Seven world-class ski resorts are within minutes of Salt Lake City. If you hate snow, Solitude Mountain Resort turns into a Frisbee golf course during the summer. Ever thrown a frisbee from a balcony? Times that by a mountain.

6. Every Celebrity Goes to Sundance

Oh, you know, just that annual Sundance Film Festival hosted in Park City, turning out films like “Little Miss Sunshine”, “Reservoir Dogs”, and “Momento”. Nothing really.

7. A Big Salty, Alien Gravesite

You know when Will Smith is punching aliens in “Independence Day” on a big, white plain? Those are the Bonneville Salt Flats. They’re salty, flat and…. thats about it. However, fast cars make use of them to break sound barriers.

8. Salt Lake City Is the Mormon Mecca

Salt Lake City is the headquarters of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or in others words, “Mormons.” Everyone loves to hate on them, but they are responsible for an architectural masterpiece in the Salt Lake Temple, which took over 40 years and 5,604 prayers to build.

9. Everything Is Closed on Sunday

Not everything, but you’ll be snubbed quite often when you try to visit different shops. Hopefully you don’t need to eat or anything on Sunday.

10. Home of World’s First KFC

I am not sure what that says about Utah. I’ve never actually eaten at KFC because I like my heart, but I guess Utah is responsible for thinking buckets of greasy chicken is a good idea.

11. You Can Pretend You Are an Olympian… Until You Land

In 2002, Salt Lake City hosted the Winter Olympics. That’s pretty cool. But what do you do with Olympic venues after the Olympics are over? Why, open them up to the public!

12. Be Part of a “Holy War”

Its Brigham Young University versus the University of Utah… Locally, it’s thought of as saints versus heathens, respectively. Just be careful about what color you wear on game day. Red is for University of Utah, Blue is for hell.

13. Local Bands that Will Be Famous Very Soon

Salt Lake and the surrounding areas are known for awesome local music. You may have heard of a few… Neon Trees? Imagine Dragons? The Used?

14. Local, Independent Radio – X96 Radio From Hell

X96 is one of the longest running local radio stations. They actually play good music… which makes it the only one in the US. The “Radio From Hell” morning show is a healing salve for commuters, and the “Boners of the Day” segment features people who make you feel like a genius.

15. A More Useful Engine… Sorry Thomas

A high speed choo-choo! The UTA Frontrunner gets you 80 miles in just over an hour. And when you are in downtown Salt Lake, the smaller light rail system is free, with 80 percent less weirdos compared to other mass transit cities.

16. You’ll Never Get Lost

Think of Salt Lake City as a big grid, with lines going north-south and east-west. Getting from point A to point B is now just counting the lines. Even if you are directionally-impaired, the Wasatch mountains are East, and from there, “Never Eat Soggy Waffles”.

17. Fry Sauce Is What’s Missing From Your Life

This dream sauce which was created by Utah-based Arctic Circle is fantastic on everything. Burgers, fries, hot dogs, chicken… If you are in California, you can try asking for campfire sauce. If you are in another state, have fun with your crap-chup.

18. Ruth’s Diner

Five minutes up Emigration canyon, and you hit Ruth’s Diner. You sit down and they put a biscuit the size of your face on a plate. Anything you do afterwards doesn’t really matter; you’ll still dream of the giant face-biscuit you had for breakfast.

19. The Great Salt Lake, +15 to Floating

The Great Salt Lake is 2 to 5 times saltier than the ocean. People go to the lake just to float as it is unusually easy. I have yet to try putting “very small rocks” in there, but I presume they would also float.

20. The Home of the Utahraptor

Guess what? The velociraptor you saw in Jurassic Park was actually the size of a turkey. The Utahraptor, discovered in Utah (duh), is the biggest raptor to walk the Earth and the Ogden Eccles Dinosaur Park resurrected full-sized sculptures based on fossil skeletons to prove it.

21. You Can Buy Grass Fed Raw Milk

Real Foods Market created their own standards. They operate their own farm, raising dairy and beef cattle, chickens, pigs and even beehives, and package everything under their own brand, including the oft-misunderstood raw milk. People get the heebies over unpasteurized milk, but I drink this stuff like water. Either Real Foods knows what they are doing, or my DNA is 100 percent salmonella.

22. Free Movies at Your Local Park

Parks all across Salt Lake host movie nights during the summer, and project family-friend shows on giant screens. In fact, a major ski and snowboard resort, Snowbird, offers movies on their deck. Free movies on a mountain while sitting next to a family of 100. What could be better?

23. Bike Racing Torture that People Sign Up For

Tour of Utah, America’s toughest stage race. Over 8 miles of vertical climbs. Only 50 percent of the riders even made it through the race in 2010.

24. KSL.com Is Craigslist on Steroids

KSL.com has got it going on. News is news, but where KSL.com shines is the classifieds section. Because of KSL.com’s readership, listing something in the classifieds section is like having a garage sale and inviting everyone in Utah. And Nigeria.

25. The Nicest City in America. Really!

Every city says this. But Salt Lake people are nice. Your neighbor will shovel your walk and a stranger will fix your flat tire.