1. Unsweetened Tea
If you ask a South Carolinian for unsweetened tea, they’re most likely going to give you strange stares. In the Palmetto State, tea is sweet and cold. Deal with it.
2. Barbeque From Anywhere Outside The State
Whomever told you the best barbeque is anywhere but South Carolina was lying to you. With so many delicious and unique flavors of barbeque sauces, it’s no surprise the Palmetto State doesn’t really have time for BBQ elsewhere.
3. Bad Manners
South Carolinians are all about minding their p’s and q’s and “yes ma’ams” and “yessirs”. So you should probably watch your manners when you’re down here or else people won’t really make time for you.
4. People Whose Hearts Need Continual “Blessings”
When someone from the Palmetto State doesn’t like you, they say, “bless your heart”. If they’re blessing your heart, chances are they don’t have time for you and won’t make time for you.
5. If You’re A Tigers Fan, You Have No Time For The Gamecocks (And Vice Versa)
The Clemson Tigers and the USC Gamecocks have a college football rivalry like none other. So, obviously, South Carolinians are pretty split on who they root for. But regardless of whether you’re a Tiger or a Gamecock, chances are you don’t have time for each other.
6. Quitting Smoking
In South Carolina, it’s not exactly easy to quit smoking. There are cigarettes in the vending machines and South Carolina is known for having the nation’s lowest smoking-cessation rate. So, chances are you don’t really have time to quit smoking if you’re a South Carolinian smoker.
7. Houses That Don’t Have Front Porches
South Carolinians are all about making their front porches epic spots to chill. Whether you have rocking or wicker chairs, hanging plants or twinkle lights, every front porch in the state is unique and beautiful. So if you haven’t jumped on the front porch train, you better get on it fast.
8. Something Called “Snow”
When it snows in South Carolina, they call in the National Guard. Yeah. Zero time for snow.
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9. People Who Can’t Handle A Little Whiskey
South Carolina is a whiskey state. Either get on board or get out.
10. North Carolinians
For some reason, people think that just because the two states share a word they are somehow the same place. North and South Carolina are like night and day, and NO South Carolinian wants to be told they’re like a North Carolinian, especially considering South Carolina is so obviously the better Carolina.
11. People Who Complain About The Heat
If you’re in South Carolina, do as the South Carolinians do. Wear a bathing suit everywhere or finagle a makeshift air conditioner, but definitely DO NOT complain about the heat. Embrace it.
12. Peanuts That Aren’t Boiled
It’s just a fact that peanuts should be boiled. If they’re not, South Carolinians probably won’t make time to eat them.
13. Tourist Season
While South Carolinians obviously love the beaches that tourists flock to, they certainly don’t always appreciate the tourists themselves. South Carolinians waste an awful lot of time in traffic in Myrtle Beach during Spring Break. And that’s time they’re never getting back. Sorry tourists, but you gotta go!
14. Your Two Left Feet
South Carolina is home to a dance known as “shagging”. If you don’t know how to shag, you better learn before coming here. Otherwise you’ll waste a South Carolinian’s time while they try to teach it to you.
15. People With Seafood Allergies
Oyster roasts, shrimp and grits, crawfish, frogmore stew…. Yeah, you definitely cannot have a seafood allergy here.
16. Shoobies And/Or Someone Who Forgets Their Swimsuit
In South Carolina, you need to always, ALWAYS bring a bathing suit with you. And if you leave your shoes on when you walk on the beach, chances are South Carolinians will no longer make time for you.
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17. Counting Calories
South Carolina loves all things fried. Such as the delicious and mouth watering hush puppies pictured above. So don’t come to the state thinking you’re going to count your calories. Indulge, or leave.
18. Stress
It’s not strange to see someone sleeping in a park, on the beach, or on their front porch in a hammock. That’s because South Carolina is all about rest and relaxation. Getting stressed out is a waste of a South Carolinian’s time.
19. Eating Blue Crab With Your Hands And Not A Hammer
You don’t need a hammer to crack open your crabs in South Carolina. You eat crab with your hands and you’re proud of it. Who has time to waste on hammers when you have delicious blue crab in front of you?
20. People Who Feed the Alligators
No matter how many signs South Carolinians put up warning people not to feed the alligators, people inevitably do, therefore risking becoming alligator food themselves. So, naturally, South Carolinians have little time for these kind of dangerous shenanigans.
21. Fire Ants. Seriously.
If you see a fire ant, you kill it. That is the only solution. But run, because the other fire ants remember you and will try to bite you in retaliation.
22. Explaining What A Palmetto Is
South Carolinians love palmettos, but they don’t always love explaining to you what a palmetto is. Look it up in the dictionary and then look all around you because palmettos are literally everywhere in the Palmetto State.
23. Food Without Hot Sauce
South Carolina is hot sauce heaven: it’s home to hot sauce companies like Carolina Sauce Company, Palmetto Pepper Potions, and PuckerButt, who carries the famous Smoking Ed’s Carolina Reaper, which has set the new Guinness world record for hottest hot sauce in the world. So try not to give a South Carolinian anything bland or unoriginal tasting.
24. Stew That’s Not Frogmore
Don’t be surprised if a South Carolinian turns up their nose at regular stew. They’ve been spoiled all their life with Frogmore Stew, which is loaded with delicious boiled seafood, vegetables, and spices.
25. Suits That Aren’t Seersucker
Anything other than seersucker is just too darn hot to wear in South Carolina. South Carolinians don’t have time to sweat through a wool suit when they could have a thin, all-cotton suit instead.
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