1. If You’re From SoVa, You Have No Time For NoVa, And Vice Versa
If you’re from Southern Virginia, you pretty much think everyone in Northern Virginia is a liberal, hippy, yankee and if you’re from Northern Virginia you pretty much think everyone in Southern Virginia is a redneck. But whether you’re SoVa or NoVa, you don’t make much time for one another.
2. People Who Live In Arlington Or Alexandria, But Say They’re From D.C.
If you live in Virginia and say you are from Washington, D.C., Virginians will have zero time for you—this is common among people who live in Arlington or Alexandria. Either show some VA love and be proud to represent, or actually move to D.C.
3. If You’re A Hokie, You Have No Time For Wahoos (And Vice Versa)
Hokies = Virginia Tech. Wahoos = University of Virginia. It’s a rivalry that dates waaaay back and, needless to say, Hokies and Wahoos don’t have much time for each other.
4. West Virginians. Period.
Virginians—whether they’re from Southern Virginia or Northern Virginia—are NOT West Virginians. Period. The End. And don’t forget it!
5. Disrespecting The Military
There are 27 military bases in Virginia and 129,699 active duty military members living in the state. In fact, Virginia has the most active duty military members of any other state in the U.S. So, yeah, not much time for disrespect of military members. Support the troops, all the way.
6. Tourists At Virginia Beach
Virginia Beach tourists are some of the worst. They trash the beaches and create a ton of traffic. Basically, when summer hits, Virginians run and hide from tourists that seem to multiply like zombies.
7. The Silver Line
The Silver Line was supposed to be something that helped Virginians in the Washington Metro Area trying to commute. Two words: It doesn’t. Speaking of which…
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8. Driving Without Cursing
If you can’t curse, you can’t drive. At least, that’s an unwritten rule in Virginia. If you don’t have road rage, Virginians probably won’t really be able to relate to you. The next one might also be related.
9. Quitting Smoking
There is literally never a good time to quit smoking in Virginia. It’s the country’s fourth largest tobacco producer, so you’re gonna see a lot of tobacco fields and a lot of smoking.
10. Any Other Amusement Park Besides Busch Gardens
Busch Gardens = best amusement park. Any other amusement park is a waste of time.
11. Field Trips That Aren’t To Colonial Williamsburg Or Mount Vernon
If you’re a Virginia educator, you’ve got time for planning two field trips: Colonial Williamsburg and Mount Vernon. Anything other than that? No time. Besides, who doesn’t want to go to Colonial Williamsburg or Mount Vernon? Um, hello. They’re awesome.
12. People Who Don’t Pass History Class
Virginia is a state chock full of U.S. history. If you’re a Virginian, you know everything about every U.S. President (especially Washington and Jefferson), every Civil War battle, and everything there is to know about colonial times (AHEM, Colonial Williamsburg anyone?) So you’ll rarely see a Virginian who has time for someone who failed history class.
13. And No Time For People Who Hate On Reenactments
Virginia sometimes likes to keep the past present, and this includes full on reenactments of famous Civil War battles. Be warned: if you hate on these reenactments, Virginians will probably hate on you.
14. Cracking Crab Shells With Anything But Your Hands
Everyone knows you eat crab with your hands. If you use a hammer to crack open a blue crab in Virginia, you’re gonna get some stares. Who has time for that when there’s a delicious blue crab sitting in front of you, just waiting to be eaten? Not Virginians.
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15. Speaking Of Which, People Who Don’t Eat Seafood
Fishing and seafood is part of the way of life in Virginia, so you’ve got to appreciate it, or get out.
16. Or Vegetarians, While We’re At It
Virginians love to hunt, and they love to eat meat. So if you’re trying to be vegan or vegetarian or, worse, if you’re an anti-hunting lobbyist, you may find that Virginians just don’t have time for you.
17. Anything “Fat Free”
Why, and I mean why, would anyone ever take the fat out of something? That’s what Virginia would like to ask anyone who produces “fat free” products. Virginia has some delicious, fatty Southern comfort food, and you can bet on the fact that none of it will ever be “fat free”—nor should it be!
18. Folks Who Aren’t Passionate About College Sports
Virginia is HUGE on college sports and there are fan followings for teams depending on where you grow up. Between the University of Virginia, Virginia Tech, George Mason, William & Mary, etc., you’ve GOT to be passionate about college sports or Virginians won’t make time for you.
19. People Who’re Afraid Of Caves
Virginians would have zero time for Bruce Wayne when he was going through his whole “fear of bats” thing. Virginia has some of the most epic caves, Luray Caverns, and people in Virginia love to explore them. So if you’re afraid of the dark, Virginia probably doesn’t have much time for you.
20. People Who Don’t Like The Outdoors
Virginia is chock full of nature enthusiasts, hikers, surfers, mountain climbers, runners, and athletes. If you’re not digging nature, then you’re probably going to find that not a lot of Virginians have time for you.
21. Boring License Plates
Virginia’s got swag. Out of the nearly 10 million personalized plates issued across the entire country, 1 in 10 are registered to Virginia residents. So, naturally, there’s no time for boring license plates.
22. Explaining The Term “Commonwealth”
Virginia is a commonwealth, which is basically a fancy word for a state that is governed based on the common consent of the people. Virginians will take the time to remind someone of this, but would rather not so if y’all could just learn it that’d be much appreciated.
23. Explaining How Virginia Is Many States In One
Everyone knows that Virginia is basically two states, lovingly named NoVa and SoVa. But what many outsiders fail to realize is that even within those “two states” there are SO many different regions of Virginia that are entirely different from one another. To lump together the vastly different regions of the commonwealth is to make a grave mistake in the eyes of a Virginian. Then again, who has the time to explain all of this to you?
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