1. You’re Leaving Behind Much More Shoreline Than You’re Heading Towards
Did you know Missouri has more shoreline than California? It’s also not California, so that’s another plus.
2. Pizza Doesn’t Come With Provel Anymore
Everyone else seems to have this idea that pizza should be made with mozzarella which should be your first red flag that leaving Missouri is anything but a good idea.
3. Prepare To Be Underwhelmed By All The Sports Teams
You can find sports almost anywhere you go, but you can’t find Missouri fan just anywhere, that’s for sure. Between the Royals, Cardinals, Rams, Chiefs, and Blue, the sports teams roster is filled, making the sports in most other states pretty underwhelming overall.
4. Cardinals Are Just Birds Everywhere Else
Unless the Cardinals are beating their baseball team, of course. In which case, they become the enemy.
5. People Will Officially Outnumber Turkeys
In Missouri, there are approximately two turkeys for every resident. But things are a lot different most other places around the country. It’s a crowded world out there. Prepare to rub up against a lot of strangers.
6. You’ll Constantly Get Asked If Missouri Is A Southern Or Midwest State
And no one will be satisfied when you tell them that it’s a little bit of both.
7. All Anyone Seems To Know About Missouri Is That There’s A City With An Arch
It’s true. Generally speaking, most of the people you meet outside of Missouri will know exactly two thing about Missouri and that stops at the arch in St. Louis and maybe some sports teams. Other than that, you could tell them that there’s a giant eyeball in the middle of the city and they wouldn’t know any wiser. Oh, wait…
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8. No One Will Believe You That Kansas City Is In Missouri
People have a really hard time accepting the fact that there are two Kansas Cities and that one of them is located in Missouri. Get used to arguing this one.
9. The Ends Aren’t Burnt Everywhere You Go
In the hierarchy of barbeque, Kansas City is king and the burnt ends are the things that culinary legends are made of. It’s not that you won’t be able to find barbeque anywhere else but it most definitely won’t live up to the KC hype.
10. Beer Is Still Popular Everywhere But It’s Just Not The Same
Just like the barbeque, the beer scene in Missouri is something special. Unlike other states that are fueled by new crafts on the scene, Missouri keeps it real with crafts as well as Anheuser-Busch, which leads 47 percent of the national beer market. That’s no skunk.
11. Your Days Of Exploring Caves Are Most Likely Over
Sorry, Indiana Jones. Kiss your weekend spelunking excursions goodbye since most areas don’t have caves the way Missouri does, and definitely not a record 5,500 of them.
12. Nowhere Loves Mark Twain The Way Missouri Loves Mark Twain
And you’ll never let anyone forget it. Also, you won’t be able to find National Tom Sawyer Days celebration like you do in Hannibal, either.
13. You’ll Have To Search Much Harder For Toasted Ravioli
It exists but it’s not something you’ll find just anywhere. And you’ll never love them quite as much as you love the toasted raviolis backs home.
14. And Butter Cake Is Never Quite As Buttery As It Should Be
Order butter cake outside of Missouri and you know what they give you? Cake. It’s unconscionable. Where’s the goo?!
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15. Your Dr Pepper Pride Will Explode
Because it’s Dr Pepper so of course it will. Don’t worry, you can still find it everywhere, though.
16. Float Trips Will Never Be The Same
Floating down the river with your closest 55 friends inner tubes, rafts, or canoes is doable just about anywhere, really. But call it a float trip and no one will know what you’re talking about and they’re never nearly as fun. It’s a Missouri thing.
17. Thunderstorms Probably Won’t Be As Entertaining To The People You Meet
In Missouri, watching a storm from your porch or your window is infinitely more entertaining than any TV show ever could be. But all that might change when you leave. Hope you have a cable!
18. All That Gold Will Suddenly Make You Stand Out Like A Neon Sign
Because you’ll be hard-pressed to find another Mizzou fan. But if by chance you do, you’ve just found your new best friend.
19. You Can Tell Everyone You Lived In Athens And They’ll Probably Believe You
There’s no need to ruin the surprise that it’s just the “Athens of Missouri” right away.
20. You’ll Never Miss An Opportunity To Represent Missouri
Whether it’s the sports teams, the food, the colleges, or the hometown celebrities, you’ll never miss a chance to fill outsiders in on what they’ve been missing out on in Missouri. This will make you proud but also make you wonder why you ever left in the first place.
21. Saying Goodbye Is Never As Easy As You Thought It Would Be
You might spend your whole life talking about how one day you’re going to make some grand escape from Missouri. And then maybe you actually do. But it won’t be long before you realize that there really is no place like home.
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