1. Peanut Allergies Have No Place In Georgia
If you do have a peanut allergy, you’re going to have a bad time in Georgia. Or, at the very least, feel extremely deprived. This is the land of peanuts—and not those imitation peanuts in the bag with the peanut man in a top hat and monocle, either. These are real peanuts.
2. Apples? No Thanks!
An apple a day might keep the doctor away, but a Georgian peach keeps happiness in reach. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be here all night.
3. Getting Stuck In Traffic With No Air Conditioning Is A Fate Worse Than Death For Georgians
Getting stuck anywhere without A/C is a fate worse than death, really. In case you didn’t know, Georgia gets hot. And not just your typical summer hot. Imagine if Satan ran a vent directly from his fiery furnace and opened it up over Atlanta—that’s how hot it gets.
4. Excessive Smog Warnings
Remember what life was like without smog on the horizon? Georgians don’t. And the smog index and forecasts definitely don’t let them forget, either.
5. Anyone In A Rush Is Going To Be Out Of Luck In Georgia
Georgia is a slow-paced, laid back place and anyone who thinks they’re going to change that will learn the hard way. Georgians like life the way it is and they’re not changing for anybody.
6. Georgians Don’t Have Time To Define Directions
Every highway is The Highway.
7. Keep The Redneck And Hillbilly Jokes In Mississippi
Set aside the fact that rednecks and hillbillies are two different things anyway, no one in Georgia finds either type of joke funny. They’re played out, inaccurate, and insulting. Get a new punchline.
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8. Apologizing For Honey Boo Boo’s Family
OK, yes, Georgia is responsible for the Honey Boo Boo crew. Sorry about that. But the jokes still aren’t funny.
9. Being Rushed Is No Excuse For Subpar Takeout
If it’s not from Zaxby’s, it’s not worthy.
10. Running Out Of Bug Spray Is A Special Kind Of Torture
If you had to choose between being let out in the open Georgian air without bug spray at dusk and Chinese water torture, which would you choose? If you’ve ever lived in Georgia, there’s a high probability you would be the latter.
11. Allergies Rest For No Georgian
The pollen count is so high down here, anyone with allergies are sure to see them hit an all-time high. The pollen count is so high in Georgia, in fact, people without allergies can prepare for—BAM!—allergies.
12. Sport Teams By Any Other Name Aren’t Welcome
You’ve got the Braves, Falcons, UGA, and Georgia Southern’s. No one else matters.
13. Georgians Don’t HOP Anywhere
Pancakes? Please. Everyone in Georgia knows that Waffles are where it’s at. And what better place than the Waffle House on its home turf?
14. If You Don’t Have Good Manners, Then Your Mama Didn’t Raise You Right
Georgia is where you say please, thank you, and excuse me. You hold doors open for people and you mind your elders. Anything short of that and you’ll expose yourself for the Yankee you must be.
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15. Underwhelming Sunsets Aren’t Worth Seeing
Who would leave Georgia when they have skies like this right above him? There are very few places that you can travel to that can offer more than Georgia can.
16. Religious Intolerance Will All But Get You Expelled
I’m not saying you have to be religious to live in Georgia. Plenty of people aren’t. But plenty more are and if you can’t be tolerant of that and be polite when people talk about it, then you’re definitely in the wrong state.
17. Georgians Don’t Take Too Kindly To Chick-Fil-A Haters
They might be found from one end of the country to the other these days, but their chicken is still the best around and they’re still closed on Sundays. The haters can stick to Burger King.
18. Even The Trees In Georgia Do It Different
The trees are so cool in Georgia, there are even legends around them including the now-deceased Tree That Owns Itself and its offspring, The Son Of The Tree That Owns Itself.
19. A Table Without Tabasco Sauce Is Incomplete In Georgia
Its not a meal without that spicy elixir from the gods making an appearance.
20. Georgians Don’t Want To Hear About How They Can’t Drive In The Snow
It’s true that Georgia all but closes down when the white stuff does eventually fall from the sky. But the rest of the country acts like they’re the only state to have a pile-up due to bad weather. Get over it already.
21. Anyone Who Doesn’t Have Georgia On Their Mind
If you don’t live in Georgia and quickly develop a strong sense of Georgia pride, then you’re probably better off in Florida. But if you love it like the rest of Georgians do, then grab a chair on the front porch and a sweet tea and enjoy.
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