30 Things No One Tells You About Leaving New MexicoYou may want to bring some emergency Chiles with you.
1. Everyone Else Is Living A Sad Green Chile-less Life
Source: Flickr user ubercultureUnfortunately, the ultimate condiment is not available at every pizza joint and burger bar in the country.
2. And The Colors Red And Green Usually Apply To Christmas Decorations
Source: Flickr user polisNot to your favorite way to order which kinds of Chile you want.
3. Even The Hot Chocolate Will Taste Bland To Your New Mexico Palate
Source: Flickr user 97109044@N08It turns out most hot chocolate isn’t actually “hot” in terms of flavor. You’ll have an easier time finding peppermint or caramel flavored versions than a cup with your favorite chili powder kick.
4. You’ll Finally Understand The Meaning Of The Phrase “But It’s A Dry Heat”
Source: wifflegif.comBecause humidity is actually the worst thing ever, and you’ll wonder how people live through humid summers.
5. You Actually Have To Pay Attention To Speed Limits
Source: Tumblr user hannispnereriloverThey’re a little more important when you actually pass more than one other car every thirty miles.
6. Talking About UFO Sightings Is Met With A Bit More Skepticism
Source: Flickr user 72213316@N00Everyone from New Mexico is a Mulder and the rest of the world is filled with Scullys.
7. Most People Are Laughably Bad At Rolling Their R’s
Source: Tumblr user miente-me/giphy.comYou’re so used to hearing Spanish and even speaking a bit of it everyday that you’ve totally forgotten how many people really don’t.
8. You’ll Start To Have Vivid Dreams About New Mexico’s Gorgeous Landscape
Source: Flickr user ryan_mckeeAnd wake up in tears, because honestly nothing can quite compare.
9. You’ll Suddenly Be The Only Person Who Has A Regrettable Zia Tattoo
Source: Flickr user Paul David GibsonHey, the lower back placement seemed like a great idea at eighteen. And it seemed way less embarrassing when half of your friends had one too.
10. You’ll Have To Start Mowing Your Lawn
Source: Giphy.comGone are the good old days of the low maintenance crushed rock backyard.
11. No One Does Margaritas Quite As Well As New Mexicans Do
Source: Flickr user 31055085@N03Some of the syrupy sweet margarita mixes you pass in grocery stores will make your tongue shrivel up inside your mouth at just the thought of drinking them.
12. Jeans Are No Longer Acceptable Formal Wear
Source: reactiongifs.usSorry to say, most people don’t wear jeans to a wedding or a job interview. No, not even if they’re clean and ironed.
13. Christmas Will Be Forever Disappointing Because No Bizcochitos
Source: Flickr user megoizzySeriously? Is this some kind of sick joke?
14. Sometimes You Can’t See The Stars Even When It’s Dark Outside
Source: Flickr user pierce-martinThere’s nothing as beautiful and relaxing as stargazing, right? Well, air and light pollution are about to be your new worst enemies.
15. No One Will Understand Your Love Of Frito Pie
Source: Flickr user osseousCan you really blame them? It does seem kind of gross if you really stop to think about it... No, actually, still delicious.
16. No One Else Will Ever Get Super Excited When It Rains
Source: giphy.comAnd it’s nearly impossible to explain that when you’re used to months of drought, a little rain seems like a miracle.
17. Starbucks Tastes Like The Burnt Rejected Dregs Of Piñon Coffee
Source: New Mexico Pinon Coffee FacebookYou’ll start to wonder… how has everyone been drinking this for so long? How has everyone justified paying three dollars a cup?
18. People Are Actually Afraid Of Killing Little House Spiders
Source: Tumblr user ignitetheliightAnd they’ll totally think you’re a superhero when you kill them without sweating. Spiders don’t seem like such a big deal when you’ve been battling scorpions, tarantulas, and rattlesnakes for years.
19. No One Is Ever Talking About The Las Vegas In New Mexico
Source: imgur.comIf you ask someone, “The one in Nevada or the one in New Mexico?” when they mention Las Vegas, they’re going to give you a pretty funny look. It’s literally always the one in Nevada.
20. The First Thing People Want To Talk To You About Is “Breaking Bad”
Source: Flickr user littlemoresunshineYou’ll hear a lot of, “Oh, you’re from New Mexico. I watched every season of Breaking Bad.” And you’ll have to explain about a million times that nope, you don’t actually know any meth dealers personally.
21. Everyone Thinks A Roadrunner Is A Cartoon Bird
Source: Flickr user goingsloA bright blue bird, who runs around tormenting a coyote and saying, “meep meep.” Let them cling to that. The truth is not as exciting.
22. And When You Mention Adobe, They’ll Be Like “You Mean Photoshop?”
Source: Flickr user 10186213@N07Not the super coveted and expensive mud brick houses.
23. You Will Never Stop Comparing Chipotle To Monroe’s
Source: Flickr user gozalewisAnd Monroe’s will never stop winning by a massive landslide. No matter how many Chipotle burritos you force down, your heart will always belong to Monroe’s.
24. You’ll Have To Find A Replacement For Your Favorite Comfort Food—Fry Bread
Source: Flickr user kathyknorrFry bread is ridiculously hard to find most places. New Mexico has seriously spoiled your foodie side.
25. You Will Always Have The Best Christmas Decorations On The Block
Source: Flickr user bfs_manEveryone else will be stringing up store bought Christmas lights while you stock up on paper bags, sand, and candles to make your own farolito display.
26. You Will Have To Explain That New Mexico Is In The United States
Source: Giphy.comAnd you’ll start to wonder what people were doing while they weren’t paying attention in 8th grade geography.
27. When Someone Suggests Fast Food You’ll Crave Blake’s Lotaburger
Source: Flickr user hisgettIt’s not so much that it’s the best food ever. It’s just that the grass is always greener, and McDonalds is so much worse.
28. Say Goodbye To Decent Sopapillas
Source: Flickr user greg_hollandYou’ll never find them anywhere else, which is maybe the hardest thing of all about leaving.
29. Your Idea Of A Snowstorm Isn’t Actually A Snowstorm
Source: Flickr user osseousNo, sorry, you’re not going to get the day off work or school for a single inch of snowfall.
30. The Sky Isn’t Always Filled With Hot Air Balloons In The Morning
Source: Flickr user a4gpaThat’s really something that could only happen in the Land of Enchantment. What do you miss most about New Mexico? Tell us in the comments below!